(joyful music)
- [Man] Babe, help!
- [Woman] What?
- I'm all scruffy and patchy but if I shave,
I'm gonna look pre-pubescent.
Is that what you're gonna wear?
- Hey!
- Babe, we look 16.
- Nah.
We look at least 20-ish.
- Good, I feel a lot less skeezy being married to a 20-ish.
- Happy Anniversary.
- No, no!
- Kiss me! You made a vow!
Okay, game plan.
I will be starting with the open faced
duck machaca ravioli.
- And I'm starting with the baby ahi tuna
with a cherry tomato brulee.
- We talked about this, you will be starting
with the chicken fried sweet breads
with finger lime aioli.
- I can't do it. I can't eat intestines.
- It's the signature dish at D'Ambrosio's!
- I'm afraid! Why can't you order it?
- Because I know how much you'll love it.
The guy is amazing.
He had this hit restaurant in New Orleans,
but he said the jazz was too distracting to his craft.
- Do you think they're staring because
we're both wearing Toms?
- What? No!
These are our fancy Toms.
- Can I help you?
- Yes, we have a reservation under Michael Rumberger.
- I'm sorry?
- Michael Rumberger...
Like the booze and the sandwich.
- I'm sorry sir, I don't see a reservation under that name.
- Really? Because I know I made a reservation.
- Do you remember who you spoke with?
- I don't, but it was six and a half weeks ago.
- Perhaps you made the reservation for another night.
- But tonight's our one year wedding anniversary, so.
- Give me a minute.
- Don't worry.
Worst case scenario, we grab a drink at the bar
if we have to wait for a table.
- She basically called you a liar.
- Let's get you a Prosecco popsicle.
- I bet we're in the book.
- [Man] Stop, stop, stop, stop.
- Right this way.
- See, there's no conspiracy about
keeping us out of the restaurant.
- You do realize they just threw this table together, right?
- Doesn't matter because we are about to dine like kings.
You still have to order the sweet breads.
- Damn it.
- You're gonna love it.
- Welcome to D'Ambrosio's.
My name's Arthur, I'll be your server this evening.
May I bring you any sparkling water or still?
- [Both] Tap.
- He hates us.
- Nobody here hates us.
Except maybe that couple that has something against Toms.
Besides, we are about to make that guy's night
by ordering one of everything on the menu.
(laughing) What? Quail egg shooters?
Okay, two of everything.
- But he doesn't know you're a foodie.
He doesn't know we're not just two broke kids
who are going to sit here all night
playing with the sugar packets,
when he's already in the weeds, and really needs to focus
on his party of 10 because, hello, automatic gratuity.
- Sweetie, it isn't the summer of 2011 anymore.
You never have to work at Bennigan's again.
- And yet I still have nightmares
where they have oversat my section
and I can't refill everyone's waters fast enough.
- All you have to worry about is eating so much rich food
that the idea of having sex later makes you physically sick.
- Oh I will rally.
- Just enjoy your meal, because we won't be able to afford
to eat like this until our next anniversary.
- Excellent choice. Thank you.
May I see your ID's please?
I guess.
- It was before I had the beard.
- Yeah, thank you.
I'll be back with your wine.
- You can't disagree with me.
Any time you reboot a franchise--
- Actually I can.
- I'm sorry, we ordered the 2008 Sevea Nebbiolo.
- Yes?
- We ordered the Nebbiolo, this is the Cappellano Barolo.
- Sir, this is an excellent bottle of wine.
- Oh yeah, for sure.
You guys just poached Bonamat Sommelier last week
and that guy knows his grapes, there's no question.
- Yes and the Barolo and the Nebbiolo are
from the same varietal, so--
- Totally, totally. Absolutely.
But the Barolo is so massive, and tannic, and rich
that it might way overwhelm the roasted bone marrow flan,
which we ordered and have been waiting for, for months.
Okay, he maybe hates us a little.
- You think?
- [Man] You can smell every single different ingredient!
How cool is that?
- [Woman] I guess so!
- You still afraid of those intestines?
- Maybe.
- Okay, then I'm just gonna try a little--
- Fine, sweet breads are all I wanna eat
for the rest of my life!
(laughs loudly)
- Don't antagonize the unhappy couple.
They look like they're about six months away from divorce.
- Maybe complaining about the hooligans at their favorite
restaurant is bringing them closer together.
- We are saving their marriage.
- [Young Woman] Oh my god.
- We're the Doctor Phil of this restaurant.
(laughs)
- I love you.
(Man exhales)
- I wish I could take my belt off.
- If this belt was removable, I would be taking it off.
(laughs)
- [Waiter] We'll take this when you're ready.
- He didn't even ask us about dessert.
- That's OK, I'm pretty sure public vomiting
is frowned upon in D'Ambrosio's.
- No, you wanted salted caramel ice cream pearls.
- Hey, look at me.
Happy one year anniversary.
- Happy one year anniversary.
- I love you.
And I love how your rage is always bubbling just below--
are you fucking kidding me?
- He charged us for the first bottle of wine?
And for dessert we never even ordered?
Don't worry, I'm gonna keep it together.
We will figure this out with dignity and grace, like adults.
- Fuck that. Go get him.
(snaps)
(suspenseful string music)
I'm sorry tonight didn't go as planned.
- Are you kidding me?
That was so much fun.
Did you see his face?
I made him cry.
- Yeah, you shouldn't be so proud of that.
- He comped us so much stuff!
- Okay, you can be a little proud of that.
- Best anniversary ever.
- Watch your malt.
- [Woman] How are we gonna top this next year?
- [Man] Oh, we should go...
There. Right up there.
- [Woman] (laughing) Right up there?
- [Man] Yeah, I hear they have all
the sweet breads you can eat.
- [Woman] (laughing) Okay. Alright.
- [Man] Just made of sweet bread.
One big ol' planet of--
- [Woman] I'm down.
- [Man] Intestines.
(laughing)
(joyful music)