Heya playa, have you ever found yourself standing in a group of people having a conversation and
wanting to interject and be a part of it but not knowing what to say at all?
Maybe your inner introvert kicked in or you drew a blank and had no clue
what to say or the people were talking about something that wasn't related to you at all.
Don't worry, in this video, I'm going to walk you through how to manage those group conversations,
how to be a part of them, and how to not feel so lonely if people leave you out of them.
Something that I think is important to recognize here is that generally in group conversations
there tend to be one or two people that are the heavy extroverts controlling the ship.
They're the ones that usually pick the topics that the group is talking about and generally,
they're the ones talking the loudest thereby getting everyone's attention.
The first thing I want you to know is don't compete with the extroverts.
You are totally different people.
A lot of times we can get that hint of jealousy or annoyance at the fact that they're getting all
the attention and it's something that you want but if you try to step in and challenge them
or take their position in the group dynamic it can actually backfire on you.
"So I'm playing Call of Duty and man I'm on fire. I've never gotten so many kills
before in my life and literally one second right after the round ended a
grenade exploded. Tell me that it's not the craziest thing you've heard today."
"I eat toilet paper."
"I think that's crazier than what I said..."
Your goal shouldn't be to command attention just for the sake of commanding attention.
That's when you end up with a role that you're not going to
be happy with like the class clown or the weirdo.
You're better than that, be yourself.
Don't be something just so other people can like you.
So then what are you supposed to do?
How do you get into the conversation when you don't know what to say?
Well, I'm gonna spitfire a bunch of tactics at ya.
Try stepping away from the conversation and coming back in and saying something
like "Sorry I got distracted, what did you last say? I missed it."
That's going to now allow that person to repeat it and take note of you in that group dynamic.
Try to keep your eye out for people that are half paying attention to the conversation.
Maybe they're on their phone or they're looking around.
Those are people you can kind of start a little sidebar conversation with.
Ask an open-ended question to everyone in the group so
they can each go around and share their opinions.
This is a good way to get everyone involved and
it allows you to kind of be the arbiter and control that conversation.
But what do these tactics look like in practice?
Let me show you.
"I went to the movies last week with this girl and you won't believe what happened.
I ended up going to get popcorn and I forgot what theater we were in and I
ended up going into the wrong one and spent half an hour looking for her."
"Sorry I missed that last part, how long did you spend looking for her?"
"Oh like 30 minutes man. Like,
I don't even know what I was thinking. I just walked into the wrong theater."
"Hey dude that's crazy, did you hear that?"
"Oh hey. Hey man hey."
"Hey man, what's up I feel like we haven't talked in a while."
"I know right it's been a while. Look,
nothing like that's ever happened to me before so I totally can't relate but what about you?"
"Me either man. The only date I've been on is with Pamela and her five sisters."
All jokes aside, entering a group conversation is not always going to be easy.
Sometimes you're in a situation where two people
are just talking back and forth and there's no way for you to interject so what do you do?
Well, in those situations it's okay to walk away.
I know it might feel awkward to leave the conversation but there's no reason
to subject yourself to two people having a one-on-one conversation
in a group setting if you're not a part of it.
One simple way to eject yourself from that conversation is to simply say "You
guys look like you're heavy into this right now. I'm gonna come back for the
conclusion though." and then just walk away, you don't have to continue being a part of it.
Now, what if you walk into a place and you're not part of the initial group,
you're just someone who wants to enter it.
What do you say and how do you get them to accept you?
Well, you can use the same tactics I mentioned before just change up the words a little bit
and say something like "Hey I overheard you mention this thing and it caught my
attention. Can you repeat that back? I'm really interested to hear this story."
What that's going to do is make the speaker feel special, repeat back their story,
and now include you in the group as a listener and an active participant.
Entering a new group setting can still be super scary though.
Sometimes you say what you need to say and people still look at you like
who invited this person? Why are they here?
If you find yourself in a group though where people don't want to talk to you
or listen to you or even interact with you then pull yourself out of that situation.
You deserve way better than you just standing around with people that you don't really like
that are tolerating your existence but don't really care about you.
But if you really want to stand out in a group conversation the two best
things you can do is to be an active listener and an active storyteller.
Ask questions and dive deeper into the things that people share.
This is going to let them see you care about what they have to say and it's going to make
them want to open up more to you and share your own stories with them let them get a close look
into your life to learn about your likes and your dislikes your hobbies and your interests
and all the crazy things that have happened to you before.
That's going to open the group up to want to ask
you questions so that they can kind of put you front and center to really see who you are.
You should know by now that I believe that you have what it takes to be somebody great.
Just your being you is enough.
The stories and experiences and things you've gone through are great things to share.
I'm curious, what do you think though?
Do you have trouble standing out in group conversations?
Do you tend to fade into the background and just be the quiet one there?
Leave your comments down below and we'll talk about it.
Now what i want you to do is check out the videos over there on the side
which is going to dive more into starting group conversations, talking to people, and opening up.
Check out those videos and I'll catch you next time.
As always, love and peace.