Hi, I'm Annie Georgia Greenberg,
and lately, I think like many people,
I've been feeling lonely.
I have nothing.
Did ever tell you about that time at summer camp?
I scraped my knee when I...
You scraped your knee jumping down
from the rafters?
What about that awful first date?
It was pouring rain and the guy shows up...
I know.
Okay.
What about 2002, my bat mitzvah?
I was there.
Damn.
I think I'm getting sick of myself.
Maybe it's time you tried talking to somebody
other than yourself?
Like who?
Hi, my name is Lisa Drimka.
I am an assistant professor at the University
of Delaware and my research program for about
the last 10 years has focused on
understanding the negative health
consequences of loneliness.
I'm so happy to have your ear because I'm starting to
feel like I might be lonely.
So I'm really glad that you were willing
to say that and it's certainly something that
is often difficult for people to admit
But I think it's really important to recognize
that because the only way that we can proactively
help ourselves is to recognize when we
are feeling that way.
And that's something that you want to take
really seriously because loneliness isn't just a feeling.
Loneliness can have a really significant impact
on your health.
We know, for example, from research that people
who are feeling lonely can have more cognitive problems,
they can experience more depression,
they can experience more pain and fatigue.
They actually experience more cold symptoms
when they are infected with the common cold virus.
So, my loneliness could kill me?
Well, there actually is research showing
that people who experience loneliness do die younger.
One of that ways that we think that
feeling lonely can actually affect our
physical health, is by affecting our immune system.
And I think that's really important during
this pandemic because our immune system is
what keeps us healthy, our immune system is
what would help us fight off the Coronavirus
if we were infected with it.
What are some ways to combat
loneliness when I can't necessarily leave my house?
There are two main categories of ways that we
can maintain that sense of connection.
One the one hand we have engaged forms,
those are really direct way to establish connections
with other people.
Talking to people, calling them, etc.
We also have more disengaged forms and those
are often driven by something that we call social surrogates.
And those are non-human things that can take the
place of our human interactions like pets or
favorite TV characters.
I needed a doctors opinion on what my, kind of,
digital connective behaviors should be at a time like this.
So, I recommend trying to mimic the types of
social interactions and the types of behaviors
that you were doing before the pandemic as well.
So, you know, if you were someone who
worked in an office all the time why not try to
mirror that now and zoom people in while you're working?
Or, if you were someone who went out for drinks
often with your friends,
why not try to mirror that as well and
do a zoom party where you're all having a glass
of wine.
I think if we are not proactive as a society
to prevent people from
feeling lonely during this pandemic,
that once the pandemic is over,
we're going to have another crisis on our hands.
Ay caramba!
We gotta do something about this.
You heard the lady.
You've got to take loneliness seriously
because a recent study showed that zero
contact can be as dangerous as smoking up
to 15 cigarettes a day.
Gross.
Yeah, but where do I start?
Okay.
Let's recreate my day from before quarantine.
Hey Corey, it's me, Annie, from the coffee shop.
Yeah, hi.
So I'm doing this thing where I'm recreating
my day from before quarantine, and I was wondering
if you wouldn't mind just saying my order?
Just like say it?
Yeah just to like, you know, have that
same routine of us.
Sure.
Grande sugar free latte with soy milk.
for Annie.
Got it right here.
See you tomorrow.
Next up, I commute in on the subway.
Yeah, I work for the MTA.
Okay, great.
So can you say it?
Stand clear of the closing doors.
No say it like the real thing, like you mean it.
Stand clear of the closing doors.
This is a Manhattan bound 2 train.
Next stop, Grand Army Plaza.
Stand clear of the closing doors.
Perfect.
Next step, the office, which I'm re-creating by
facetiming my two desk-mates, Connie.
Hey Annie.
and Dayana.
Hey, guys.
Hi.
So you want us to just...
Be there!
Like in the office?
Exactly.
Just ignore me like you usually do.
Okay, I can do that.
Ignore you?
Happily.
In our daily lives we're used to lots of passive
interactions and studies show that being in
the presence of others, even if we're not interacting much,
can actually be really meaningful.
So facetime your friends and leave it up and
running while you're doing daily activities
like cooking, cleaning or working.
Uh, Annie?
Can you can you mute yourself or your other
self?
Oh, yeah.
Sorry.
Anyways, there are lots of ways to battle loneliness
even by yourself.
Eating comfort foods with strong emotional
memories can help us feel more connected to
others.
Mine is mac and cheese.
I see that.
And watching our favorite TV shows or reading our
favorite books can provide an experience
of belonging and connection.
Mine is Sex and the City.
On the 40th day of quarantine,
I didn't feel like I was living sitting in my living room
and I couldn't help but wonder,
have we all just been wearing face masks all along?
Reel it in Carrie, this isn't all about you.
In fact, a 2020 survey showed that nearly
one third of adults over the age of forty
five were lonely even before Corona, and that number
goes up as the ages increase.
Well, now I just feel silly.
So why don't you try reaching out to somebody
in that demographic?
Okay, I'll call my 86 year old grandma.
Good.
Hi, Grandma.
It's Annie.
Oh, hi Annie.
Annie, we're just watching you!
I think it's terrific.
They should put this on TV.
Are they going to put it on TV?
I don't know if they're gonna put it on TV,
but I appreciate you watching.
How are you feeling?
You know because sometimes I feel lonely and
I know that you're by yourself a lot and I
wanted to know if you were feeling lonely...
Well, isn't that nice.
and wanted to talk
I don't feel great, but I'm not depressed or anything.
I just...
I go along with the flow.
But thank you for calling me to see how I'm feeling.
Whoever you have to talk to, just say your
grandmother is definitely liking this and
it should be on TV where everyone can see it.
Well, that was cute and a good reminder that
we should all be reaching out to somebody
every day that we think might be lonely.
A good place to start is self-disclosing.
This week I learned that just because we're
socially distanced doesn't mean we have to
be socially isolated and there are lots of easy ways
to stay connected.
As always, I'm ending
this video with five acts of kindness
that I've done on one day.
Thanking our postal workers with some yummy treats,
donating to a food bank, carrying a big box upstairs for
a neighbor, writing a letter of gratitude
to a friend and writing a happy message on
the sidewalk.
Comment below on how you're giving back.
I could really use the inspiration and ideas
to feel less miserable during this global pandemic.
Finally I the go ahead from a doctor...
Got the go ahead!
to eat junk food and watch television!
Doctors orders!
Eat the comfort food and watch all that TV.
Now is the time to take advantage of that.
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