With parents like Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love, how is a daughter supposed to live a
normal life?
From her massive monthly stipend to a difficult relationship with an unstable mother, these
are tragic details about Francis Bean Cobain.
The relationship between Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love was famously complicated, and you could
say Frances Bean Cobain was pulled into her parents' reckless lifestyle before she was
even born.
That's because there were concerns that Love had used drugs while pregnant.
The drama started in 1992, when a then-pregnant Love told Vanity Fair about doing heroin with
Cobain on a specific occasion, after she knew she was pregnant.
"At the height of their drug abuse.
Damn, if I wasn’t so needle-sick, I’d be on tour with Guns N’ Roses right now."
That implication caused controversy and led many to worry about the baby's health.
Love and Cobain later denied the allegations, though, telling E!:
"As soon as Courtney found out she was pregnant, she immediately contacted an obstetrician
and a doctor specializing in chemical dependency[.] [...And she] has been assured that she can
expect to have a healthy baby."
Despite this explanation, Frances was removed from her parents' home by child services only
a few weeks after she was born.
In 2011, Love finally admitted to The Fix:
"It's true, I used heroin in the first three weeks of my pregnancy — but so f—ing what!?
[...] I also took a few puffs on a cigarette."
She added that she was encouraged to abort Frances because of her use of these substances,
but that, quote, "I wasn't about to lose my baby."
Francis Cobain’s father, Kurt, was also involved in drugs, before and after her birth.
Love confirmed what was widely believed to The Fix, that the elder Cobain’s drug of
choice was heroin.
In fact, the last time Frances saw her father alive was visiting him at a rehab center.
As for her mother, Frances revealed in a 2009 court testimony that Love:
"has taken drugs for as long as I can remember, [and she] basically exists now on [...] Xanax
, Adderall, Sonata, and Abilify."
Love’s drug-related offenses are matters of public record, and Love even admitted in
an ABC News interview that, between 2001 and 2004, during Frances’ preteen years:
"I was on drugs and nothing I wrote made any sense."
Cobain reflected on the non-traditional mother/daughter relationship that grew from Love’s persistent
drug issues, admitting on the "RuPaul: What's the Tee?"
podcast in 2019:
"I was so f—ing bitter and angry and upset and resentful for a really long time."
She shared that she likes her mother, quote, "when [she] is on a right and healthy path,"
but also pointed out that she has never been able to influence her mother’s behavior
in this regard.
Kurt Cobain committed suicide before Frances was even 2 years old — much too young to
understand.
Frances explained how she learned the truth on the "RuPaul: What the Tee?"
podcast, saying:
"I wasn't told my dad committed suicide until the age of five.
[M]y mom preemptively sent me to therapy a year before telling me so that I could be
eased into that conversation."
Because she never got to know her father, Frances compared Kurt to an imaginary figure
like Santa Claus, and told Rolling Stone that fame prevented her from bonding with her dad
in the little time they had.
She explained:
"Kurt got to the point where he eventually had to sacrifice every bit of who he was to
his art.
[...] I think that was one of the main triggers as to why he felt he didn't want to be here."
She continued:
"If he had lived, I would have had a dad.
And that would have been an incredible experience."
"Christmas Day, 1993.
Francis Bean Cobain."
She's even spoken out against those who glamorize musicians' deaths, saying:
"We love to put them on a pedestal.
If Kurt had just been another guy [he’d have] abandoned his family in the most awful
way possible."
Despite never getting to know Cobain, Frances wrote in a now-deleted Instagram birthday
tribute to him that said, simply, "You are loved and you are missed."
She's also posted suicide prevention resources, telling her followers, "Needing help is not
weakness."
MTV reports that after being removed from her parents’ care when she was only weeks
old, Love lost custody of Cobain once again in 2003 when a then-11-year-old Cobain was
present for her mother's drug overdose and subsequent arrest.
In the months that followed, Cobain was often placed in the care of her paternal grandmother,
Wendy O'Connor, as well her aunt, Kimberly Cobain.
In 2005, Love fought to get her daughter back after a rehab stay.
Yet only months after getting custody back, CNN reports that Love went on to violate her
probation.
By age 17, Cobain chose to permanently live with her grandmother, causing Love to lose
custody of her for the third time.
In an interview with People, Love's attorney denied that a drug relapse was the motivation
behind the change of custody.
Just two years earlier, Cobain had explained to Harper's Bazaar that life with her mother
had involved frequent moves and other forms of unsteadiness, but that her grandmother
was a constant in her life.
Moving in with her grandmother was easier said than done.
When Cobain made the decision, Love took to Facebook to publicly bash her daughter and
Kurt’s mother.
In her incoherent rant, the Hole frontwoman wrote, among other things, that Cobain was
a liar and surrounded by bad influences.
Around the same time, The Daily Mail reported that Cobain got a restraining order against
her mother after a confrontation between the two turned physical.
In Cobain's court testimony, she accused Love of drug use, accidentally killing Cobain's
pets while high, and threatening her and her ex with violence.
In 2012, Love tweeted accusations against ex-Nirvana drummer Dave Grohl, claiming he’d
acted inappropriately with her daughter.
Cobain defended Grohl and said that her mother’s claims were entirely fabricated.
Frances Bean Cobain married her boyfriend of five years, Isaiah Silva, in 2014, but
the wedding was anything but conventional.
The couple decided to wed in secret and not invite Cobain's mother, Courtney Love, and
an unnamed source reportedly told E! that Love was crushed to learn that she’d been
shunned.
Despite avoiding prying eyes during the ceremony, the couple split by 2016.
The model reflected on "RuPaul: What's the Tee?"
podcast that she may have gotten married for the wrong reasons, saying:
"The idea of marriage, of securing a family very early on, was the complete opposite of
what my mom did.
I really was grasping [for] some kind of stability anywhere."
According to People, Cobain's divorce from Silva turned messy when he obtained her father's
Martin brand guitar, claiming he had received it from Frances as a wedding gift.
Not only was her late father's instrument sentimental to Cobain, but it's also reportedly
worth millions — it was even the guitar he played on MTV's "Unplugged."
"I guarantee you I will screw this song up."
Silva later filed one of several lawsuits against Love, claiming she and her daughter
had conspired to kill him to get back the guitar.
He was eventually court-ordered to undergo a psychiatric evaluation, and in 2020, the
guitar sold at auction for $6 million.
You could say that one of the upsides to having rockstar parents is the money that comes with
it.
Yet, Frances Bean Cobain doesn't necessarily see it that way.
She revealed on "RuPaul: What's the Tee?"
podcast:
"My relationship to money is different because I didn't earn it."
She further communicated a sense of guilt at having the unearned money, comparing it
to a loan that never goes away.
According to People, Cobain is worth $11.3 million and receives $95,000 a month from
her late father’s estate.
While that's obviously plenty of money to do whatever you want, Frances claimed that
she once didn't know how to handle it and spent frivolously.
After years of wasting her wealth, Cobain realized she needed to conserve her money
and learn how to live well, not just lavishly.
She went on to admit:
"It took me stepping away from that and getting sober in order to realize that no matter how
much money you think you have, it's not permanent."
After years of watching her mother struggle with drug dependence, Frances Bean Cobain
realized she too had a problem with substances.
However, unlike Courtney Love, Cobain knew how to keep her addiction a secret.
However, Cobain's grandmother, Wendy O'Connor, could see her problems for what they were,
but believed Cobain had to work through it on her own.
For her part, Cobain has expressed appreciation that her grandmother chose not to intervene.
In 2018, Cobain shared with her Instagram followers that she was two years sober.
In the now-deleted post, she wrote:
"Self-destruction and toxic consumption and deliverance from pain is a lot easier to adhere
to.
Undeniably, for myself and those around me becoming present is the best decision I have
ever made."
She added that she made her sobriety public knowledge to help others who also may be struggling.
In 2017, Frances Cobain had a near-death experience that changed her life.
According to The Daily Mail, she was traveling aboard an airplane that had to make an emergency
landing after losing one of its engines.
Cobain shared in a now-deleted Instagram post how she'd changed to the ill-fated Air France
flight from one she had previously booked, in order to get home earlier after attending
Paris Fashion Week.
She recalled:
"When I felt the plane tilt, saw the wing directly in front of me catch fire, and basically
came to grips with my own mortality."
Cobain went on to write about how the incident impacted the anxiety she was already dealing
with, writing:
"All the mundane 'crippling' anxieties I once let dictate how I functioned have dissipated."
Cobain also shared that her mother, Courtney Love, was a person she worried about never
seeing again, making it obvious that the relationship still mattered to her, despite past difficulties.
The pilots were able to land the plane successfully, and the incident seems to have prompted positive
changes in Frances Bean Cobain’s life.
If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction issues, help is available.
Visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website or contact
SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).