- Yo, someone shared this video with you?
You're one of these guys, just saying, 'kay, enjoy!
(horse hooves clopping)
What up everyone, it's ya girl, Superwoman!
You know what?
I really don't like people who wear button up shirts
and wear glasses because those types of people
stereotype other people solely based
on how they're dressed, and that's wrong.
Wait that's a good disclaimer, right?
Yeah, I think so. (laughs)
Yo, here's what guys' tattoos mean and stuff.
Number one: the barbed wire tattoo.
AKA the mother effing Times New Roman of tattoos.
I mention my body fat percentage in every conversation.
I find sleeves offensive.
My Instagram is a lot of shirtless pics.
That's to make up for my personality.
I bottle up my feelings a lot.
People just don't get me.
This is protein powder.
I'm a part time security guard.
My method of problem-solving is punching someone.
I walk with my shoulders back and my butt flexed.
Did I mention I only have 5% body fat?
This guy is a meathead, straight up, and honestly,
I wanna make out with him.
Probably, most likely, you know what?
I do, I definitely do.
Number two: the tiger slash lion tattoo. (growls)
AKA every brown guy in the entire galaxy
I am so sorry for making this video about you.
(speaking in foreign language)
Yo, I want people to know I'm an alpha male.
Yo, it's my job to take care of my family.
Yo, I can't date a woman who makes more than me.
No, like, I'm kind of okay with the patriarchy.
Yo, that movie, Rocky, is sick!
I'm like the king of the jungle.
I like God and tigers.
I came out of the womb knowing how to fix cars, right?
Yo, pass me that hammer?
Number, it looks like I'm naked, am I?
Click, click, click.
I'm kidding, I'm kidding!
But am I?
Number three: the rose tattoo.
The dude that has a rose tattoo is so confusing
because sometimes I think he's hot
and then other times I think he's gross.
But 100% of the time, my mom hates him.
Yeah, I'm in a band.
You should check out our mixtape.
You know, I'd love to hang out but I'm too busy
sleeping in a tent tonight outside the Supreme store
waiting for their next drop.
I don't believe in social media.
No, posing for pictures is not really my jam.
When I fall off my skateboard, I pretend it doesn't hurt.
I have piercings my mother doesn't approve of.
By the way, my band has a mixtape you should check it out.
(guitar strums)
Number four.
The skull tattoo.
You know, I'm really into the idea of having
a Nightmare Before Christmas cosplay
permanently on your skin.
I'm serious!
It's great movie!
(coughing) (rock music)
Yeah, I have a motorcycle that makes a lot of noise
and omits a lot of fumes. (coughing)
Yeah, I smoke like a pack of cigarettes a day.
Whatever type of music you listen to I think is trash.
When people ask me for advice,
I tell them we're all gonna die anyways.
My favorite show is Long Island Medium.
Because that's real life.
My brother, you wanna meet my pet snake?
I've had the same leather jacket for years.
Of course I'll buy you beer if you're underage, Bud.
No lungs were harmed in the making of that skit.
Don't demonetize me!
Five: small nature tattoo.
AKA every guy in L.A., especially Silver Lake.
I only eat organic foods.
When I'm at a party, I drink IPA.
Yeah, I'll take another cold brew.
My Instagram is exclusively black and white photos.
I wear glasses for fashion, not vision.
I only wear designer socks and I make sure my chinos
are short enough to show them off.
I always get my clothes tailored.
I think it's very important to support local businesses.
Catch me sipping the La Croix in the local bar,
you know less is more, namaste. (laughs)
Number six: face tattoos.
First of all, I am shook at how much this is a thing.
People don't even just have one or two small tattoos
on their face anymore that ish look like
the back of a cereal box.
Yo, I don't think about the future I live in the now,
you know what I'm saying?
Some people they tell me I'm impulsive.
Yeah, I rap and my name is Lil Somethin'.
Yeah, I be using slang that most people don't understand,
you know what I'm saying.
My Boy Butay-bo-bo-de-bomin-jeezy-keezy on
the teezy choo choo ka choo choo.
Yo, I think my parents are mad at me still.
Yo, you don't know what it was like growing up in my hood.
Yo, my job pays me in cash.
Yo I mostly communicate through DM's know what I'm saying?
(laughs)
Yo, just kidding, no disrespect to any rappers.
Please put me on your mixtape.
Your Lil Lily, what's good fam. (imitates record scratching)
Number seven: tribal tattoos.
I really like when I look through a kaleidoscope
and it looks like your tattoo.
I'm a big fan of The Rock.
I mean, I've been told I'm easily influenced.
I just really wanted a tattoo.
Ohana means family.
Of course I wear socks with my sandals.
I call everyone Bro, Bro.
I'm fine just blending into a crowd.
Everything is like, whatever, Bro.
Number eight: lower back tattoo.
I mean, Bro.
I told ya, right, I don't have a lower back tattoo
I just don't like to take my shirt off.
I have low alcohol tolerance.
My friends they pick on me a lot.
If I ever get invited to the beach it's a hard pass.
I only get intimate with the lights off.
Netflix asks if I'm still watching, regularly.
And there you have it.
100% scientific analysis of guys tattoos.
Just kidding!
No, no offense to anyone if you got some tattoos
I'm sure they are dope.
Your individuality, your uniqueness, all that stuff
is dope. (ululates)
It could be worse also.
You could have one of like friggin oh,those heart ones,
you know what I'm talking about like the small ones
that are a stencil, like look at me, I'm so cute (laughs).
So done!
Yo, dude you should totally make sure
you kick the thumbs up button there.
Rock on!
And right there's the last video, dude, bro!
And over there's my log chan item.
Somehow British, all of the sudden I'm, identity crisis!
Make sure you click subscribe because I'm making new videos
here every Monday and Thursday.
Rock on, dude.
One love, Superwoman!
That is a wrap.
Zoop! (laughs)