Hi, Everyone. Thank you for checking out my video this week. Now, today s topic
is something that is just a little dark, a little sad, a little overwhelming.... Ugh,
makes us just feel worn out. And the reason I want to address this is because more than
any other question or any other comment that I get, I get the comment or question, Kati,
help me. I m at the end of my rope. I just want to die. No one would care if I die - my
husband, boyfriend, friends, family. Nobody cares. I m in a dark place. I ve been battling
and I ve lost. I m a failure. All sorts of things; I get those questions all the time,
everyday, all day. And I feel that because it s such an issue, if I m hearing from ten
people that means there s at least 50 other people that haven t mentioned it to me because
they don t know or they re too scared to reach out or any sort of reason. Maybe, they haven
t even found me yet. But a lot of people are out there suffering. And I want to let you
know that you don t have to do it on your own and there are things we can do. And we
don t have to take our own life. There are choices. I know it feels like there aren t
and I know it feels like things have just been horrible for so long and everything you
try doesn t work. But I m going to give you a couple of tips today and things that you
can do to get you out of the darkness, to get you up off the floor, to get you out the
front door, to get you interacting back on track, okay? And I know it s hard. These aren
t just like snap your fingers everything s back to the way it was before we had an eating
disorder, before we were self harming, before we had depression or whatever. I know that
it just doesn t happen overnight like that but we had to take these baby steps in order
to reach, you know, to get to the top of the mountain, right? We have to start at the bottom.
So, we re in this really dark place, things have been horrible. All we could think about
is how to get out, how we can stop and the only thing we think about is suicide. Now
the first thing that I always tell my clients to do, even when I first start really working
with them and I know that they ve had suicidal thoughts or maybe have attempted in the past,
begin making a recovery journal. I know some of you are thinking Kati, why are you telling
me do that? And I don t want to and I don t like it . But, it could really help. It
s just like the first task in my workbook when we start learning to talk back to our
eating disorder, this recovery journal is something that we could go back to like rewatching
this video. When we re feeling down, we can open up that recovery journal and we can read
through it. Now, the thing about our recovery journal is this is just not a regular journal.
I don t want you to just go to it and vent about whatever is going on. This is only positive,
successful, exciting information, okay? So, grab it. Take a little time or at least get
a little piece of paper if you don t have a blank journal because I know many of you
have started journals, you have like two pages filled out... just tear those pages out. We
re starting over. So recovery journal, okay? Go grab it. Now, we re going to hop online.
I know you have two screens up, let s open a new tab. We re going to go to Google and
we re going to look up motivational and inspirational quotes. Usually, I come up with like brainy
quote, that s the one that comes at the top. Whatever it is, it doesn t matter. Click on
it. We re going to scroll through... the ones that really touch your heart, the ones that
you think Yeah, that s good, you know? Oh, I feel it, so good, write it down. Write it
down in your recovery journal right now. Yep, I know you re looking at it. Yep, that s the
one. By somebody you may not have heard of but they re so motivational, right? So, write
that down. And I want you to just make a list. Sometimes, I ll do for myself just to lift
my spirits or I ll put different quotes on my website. I update them. So, I do, like,
five at a time because it kind of gets tiring. I know that none of us likes to write anymore,
we only like to type but write these down. Okay, we re going to turn the page. Second
thing I want you to do - I want you to write down and headline this page Reasons for Recovery
. I know what you re thinking, Shut up, Kati. I don t have any reasons. I m at the end of
my rope, remember? I want all of these to be over with . There are reasons. Number 1
- because Kati s here to help and she told me to do this. That s fine. We ll start there.
I ll take it. It is okay. At least we have one, right? Okay, so let s brainstorm. Things
that we want to do, right? I ll just talk personally, I want to own a dog, so bad. I
really want to own a dog. That would be a reason, right? Oh, I want a dog, a cute fluffy
little dog. So I want to have a pet, that would be a reason. I want to get married.
It s another reason. I want to fall in love. I want to have children. I want to watch my
sister or my brother have children. I want to graduate. I want to go to college. I want
to become a therapist now and use my experience to help others. I know many of us feel that
way. That s a reason for recovery. If nothing else, we have the experience. Okay? Enough
with the experience, we re ready to move on. We re ready to grow. We re ready to become
the women and the men we re supposed to be, right? So, those are just some things we can
start thinking about. Goals we have, those are great reasons to recover, right? Maybe,
we want to write books one day, we want to have a blog where we share how we feel. Maybe,
we want to be a reporter. Maybe, we want to be an artist. Maybe, we want to be a fashion
designer. Whatever we want to do, those are reasons for recovery. Write them down. And
they could be silly things like I really want to recover because I want to eat chocolate
cake again. I really want to recover because.... it doesn t matter. Nothing too small, nothing
too large. Write them down and every, I would say, every day if you were my client and I
was like really sticking it to you but instead I ll say once a week, I want you to return
to this and I want you to add at least one thing to the list. Okay? So, we re feeling
really bad. We ve got a recovery journal. We ve written down our quotes. We ve written
down our Reasons for Recovery , okay? The following, if it s too much, take some notes.
Write things down. The next thing I want you to do, I want you to reach out. All of us
know when we re in our worst, we ve been isolating. We haven t been calling people. We haven t
been showing up. We ve been standing people up. We ve been cancelling plans. We ve been
staying at home, staying in our depression, staying in our eating disorder, self harming,
whatever, right? Reach out to one person. This can be a person that we see everyday
- could be a text to a friend, could be a phone call. It could be an email. It could
be a Tweet. It can be a message. There are so many things that are in our finger tips
right now. We can message someone on Tumblr. We can be talking to someone halfway across
the world. But we can reach out, right? We can get that support. And there are a lot
of, even my followers, hop on my Twitter. I have a lot of girls that are doing some
great things, posting videos, writing songs, all sorts of things. Hop on there, get some
advice from them, you know. Help one another. We are motivational. We are supportive. We
are there to help and that s what I really want to create, right my community of people?
We are all here to help. So, reach out. Reach out to one person even if that s a suicide
hotline. I know that every area has a suicide hotline, call it. Those people are trained
to talk to you and to help you. And it s not some Where are you? Who are you? s not like
that. It s like What made you call in today? What s going on? you know? It s not as scary
as lot of us think, okay? So reach out, just to one person. Because you can do it! You
re worth recovery. I tell all of you, you can do it. I know it seems exhausting. It
s tiresome but that s what I m here for - to help support. You are amazing. You have so
much strength. You don t even realize how much strength you have. You have so much to
give and such a great life to live that we need you to be around. We need you around.
We will miss you. People will be sad and it is not okay to take your life. You have so
much to give. You re worth recovery. It s worth the fight. Trust me, stick with it.
It will get easier and I m here to help and all the people who follow me, that are doing
their own supportive videos, we re all here to help. Post on my website, subscribe to
my channel, leave comments below... people talk to one another. You re worth it. We love
you. We re here to support, so remember that. And write these things down. These are motivational
quotes and things that can keep you positive, right? We have to remind ourselves because
our eating disorder will try to tear it out but we re here to help. You re worth it and
keep fighting, okay? So, get up off the floor. Get up off the couch. Get out of bed. Grab
that recovery journal and let s get working as we work towards a healthy mind and healthy body.
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