- Yeah...
- Whatever miss, i really dont like the way you teach
- Uh.. Ms. Murphy, i think there is a poo on the floor
Oh my days. What did I do?
Did I do that there? Did I do that aye?
Mh, Mrs. Murphy there's definitely a poo on the floor
and there's a footprint in it!
okay
Oh, the most awkward moments
I've had to do a bit of sex ed, for the little ones
And they'll ask questions like, what's public hair?
I've got awkward moments with kids
Boys
Kids having crushes
Oh God was it awkward
We have silent reading
And I have a kind of soft area
for people who've done really well
they can like lounge on the sofa
And anyway, 15 minutes into the silent reading
Oh God don't say it
yeah
I just do a quick walk around
and i just see this movement
(gasp) oh my God
Oh um, would you uh would you like to go to the bathroom
Receiving strange gifts
I've had a few
Food that has been eaten
A box of paracetamol
Jewelry that has been stolen clearly
A clay effigy of my head
My friend, a teacher friend
A child gave her weed once
I bought this for you because, um, it helps my mum
Seeing students or parents in public
Most of the times if they see me it's like an out-of-body experience
I can't believe that you exist outside of the school environment
I was coming down some escalators into the tube
And then a little boy and his dad were coming up
And he just went (gasp)
Staff room romances
ohh
ohhh
I actually got married to a guy that I met at school-
I'm joking I'm bloody single
I'm at a primary school
There are no male teachers
If you get like
a male, relatively attractive
all the women are just like
Oh, who's the new teacher?
When you get outside visitors
and there are men in the building
It's like 'restrain the students!'
Oh yeah, when the firemen came to school
Oh my goodness
You only work 6 hours a day and have loads of holidays
Oh my God can I punch every person in the throat that says that?
I woke up at 6, I get into school at 7
Saturday academies
Stay in late, parents evening
open evening
giving up your weekends
Best way to respond to this is
Yeah I know, it's so good
Maybe I should react like that
Cause' usually my normal reaction is like
'No.'
I think I used to be like that
as times past i've just
learned that no matter how much I defend myself
people always think I'm a slacker
Okay, end of term parties
Raucous, and was the reason I gave up drinking
I think.. oh teachers
By the time we get to the end of term
Christmas parties, summer parties...