There's an old, old, old, old African and Jamaican saying.
I've settled some things before,
but I think there's some more things that need to be settled.
I'm making myself pretty.
So let's settle this again.
Ah, ah, ah.
Let's settle this.
Bumba-wha.
You can date when you're broke if you've got the x-factor.
There's been many, many of cases before,
the woman who's been given everything
but her sexual temptations and needs was not met.
But she came across Winston
outside your local Brixton Ladbrokes
and he just lost £60 on a horse.
Bumba-wal!
Yo.
And Winston said, "Yo, baby."
HE LAUGHS
Say, "Yo, baby, saw you round, saw.
"You know I love you, though you're shaped like Coca-Cola bottle, baby."
Winston uses his last tenner to get a little Lambrini bottle
and play some Gregory Isaacs.
You know the ones.
# As the goodness washes our way
# Oh, child. #
Do you know what happens, though?
You see, Winston, the half an hour he's in the house,
he whapped like his life depended on it.
He whapped, yeah, like he was going to prison
for something he didn't do.
He whapped like he was the last man on this world, fam.
Do you know, yeah, do you know what's happened now?
You see this woman, who was in a loving relationship.
She's sitting on the bed like this, yeah, going,
"Winston, there's something about you.
"We've connected in a way I just don't understand.
"I think I love you, Winston."
Bumba-wah! Yeah.
And Winston, Winston is there on the bed like this, saying,
"Mi know, baby.
"But, baby, mi broke, you know, baby.
"But mi love you, you know, baby.
"You see when mi get up on my feet, baby,
"mi going to treat you like princess.
"Let me just touch you one more time."
You see, the second round, bruv.
See Winston, bruv... Kid have vengeance. Oh, my...
This time he's having sex like a racist police officer in Alabama.
Yeah? Yeah?
Black Lives Matter.
Yeah. He's going bananas. Yeah?
Bruv, the sex that he is putting down is for the pure frustration
of being broke and the stuff in his life.
He's just trying to take it out in the crotches. Do you know what's happened, though?
She's experienced three different types of shakes down her legs she's never done before.
And then do you know what's happened?
My man who's bought the nuff stuff has come home to an empty flat
and a fucking frozen lasagne in the fridge.
Said, "I've met a guy called Winston and we're going to make it work.
"He understands me."
Bumba-wal.
Don't be thinking because you're broke and you're good-looking
and you ain't got no deeper sex game that you're going to be winning.
Do you get what I mean?
But this goes out to the unisex, though.
Cos man just think - is it just dudes?
You see the 21st century of how life is now, yeah,
ladies, man's here to burst your bubble.
The days of just being pretty
and thinking that's entitled for you to get stuff is over.
The whole dating world in itself is kind of ruined
because Tinder, Facebook, Snapchat are basically like
the new cyber Cilla Blacks of the world.
Do you get what I mean?
And, really, if you think about it, do people even date any more?
People just link up and have sex.
That's my bomba.
Ladies.
I've been up and I've been down
and I've been super down
and then OK and then down again, then up - do you get what I mean?
And all those different time periods, yeah,
you looked at things through a different set of eyes
or a different set of glasses.
One of the sickest dates I think I ever did,
man went Megaball, yeah,
and then man went through, like, Battersea Park and that.
It was the sickest vibes, man bust bare jokes.
On a fiver.
You can be broke, yeah, but it's how you handle yourself,
how you carry yourself.
A poor person can't date a rich person
if he's insecure about his poorness.
Real shit, though. Real, absolutely. Do you get what I mean?
But if you're broke and you're happy with yourself,
you can date whoever.
Let's settle this.
Yes, you can date if you're broke.
If you love yourself and you're comfortable within your own skin,
you can date whoever.
Turn up, BDL, bass.
HE LAUGHS
Cos it's real.