[ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE ] REG EVERYBODY, GET WILD!
IT'S "DROP THE MIC!" FIRST UP, PLAYING AND SLAYING
FOR ENGLAND AND LATE NIGHT, IT'S JAMES CORDEN!
[ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE ] REG SPRENG REPRESENTING THE
U.S. AND PRIMETIME HEARTTHROBS, GIVE IT UP FOR ASHTON KUTCHER!
[ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE ] JAMES, AS HOST, YOU GO FIRST.
>> James: ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?
>> LET IT BEGIN.
>> James: ALL RIGHT, GIVE ME A BEAT!
♪ I HEARD I WAS BATTLING AN A-LIST HUNK
♪ BUT WHEN I SAW ASHTON KUTCHER I KNEW I WAS GETTING PUNK'D
♪ CAUSE YOU HAVEN'T HAD A HIT MOVIE SINCE 2002
♪ YOU WERE SO BAD IN "JOBS" EVEN SIRI WON'T TALK TO YOU
♪ ON "THAT 70S SHOW" YOU WERE A STONER WITH JOKES,
♪ WHICH IS IRONIC CAUSE TONIGHT YOU'RE THE ONE
♪ WHO'S GETTING SMOKED BUT YOU DO GREAT CHARITY WORK
♪ YEAR AFTER YEAR WANNA SAVE SOMETHING FROM DYING?
♪ MAYBE START WITH YOUR CAREER?
[ LAUGHTER ] STAND BACK!
STAND BACK!
[ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE ] >> LET'S DO THIS.
♪ PEOPLE CAME TO SEE PETER RABBIT BATTLE ME
♪ BUT YOUR BATTLE'S WITH THE LADIES
♪ YOUR RABBIT'S OUTTA BATTERIES MY CAREER'S BEEN DOING FINE
♪ EVER SINCE THE 70S YOUR JOB'S AN UBER DRIVER
♪ FOR REAL CELEBRITIES.
YOU WERE AT THE ROYAL WEDDING ♪ THAT SEEMS RIGHT
EVERY WEDDING HAS A GUEST ♪ THEY DIDN'T INVITE
PEOPLE SEE ME AT VALET ♪ THEY SAY, "LOOK, IT'S A STAR"
PEOPLE SEE YOU BY VALET AND ♪ THEY SAY, "DUDE, WHERE'S MY
CAR?" [ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE ]
>> James: THAT HAPPENED ONE TIME AND YOU WON'T LET IT GO!
[ LAUGHTER ] ALL RIGHT, JOSH, GIVE ME A BEAT!
♪ YOU MADE FUN OF "PETER RABBIT" AND
♪ MY WORK ON CARPOOL I'M NOT TAKING THAT
♪ FROM THE TOOL WHO MADE TRUCKER HATS COOL
♪ VALENTINES DAY AND NEW YEARS EVE
♪ ARE BOTH MOVIES YOU FUMBLED
♪ YOU RUINED MORE HOLIDAYS THAN A TRUMP LOVING UNCLE
♪ YOU JOINED "TWO AND A HALF MEN" WHEN
♪ PRODUCERS INTERVENED AND IT'S THE ONLY TIME
♪ PEOPLE THOUGHT, "MAN I MISS CHARLIE SHEEN"
♪ AND YOU INVESTED ALL YOUR MONEY
♪ IN TECHNOLOGY AND APPS HELL, I'D DO THE SAME THING
♪ IF I KNEW I COULDN'T ACT [ APPLAUSE ]
I WOULD.
I WOULD, THOUGH!
I'D DO THE SAME!
>> LET'S GO.
LET'S GO.
♪ IF YOU COULDN'T ACT, JAMES?
THAT'S THE TEST?
♪ THE RESULTS ARE IN THEN IT'S TIME TO INVEST
♪ YOUR JOKES ARE LIKE YOUR SUITS A STRETCH AND A GROAN
♪ LOOK LIKE A HARD BOILED EGG APPLYING FOR A LOAN
♪ I HATE TO KICK A MAN WHEN HE IS IN A SLUMP
♪ BUT I'M LOOKING AT THE BABY OF KIM JUNG UN AND DONALD TRUMP
♪ AND NOW YOU'RE OFF TO LONDON IS THAT A FACT?
♪ TAKE SOME ADVICE, JAMES DON'T EVER COME BACK
[ APPLAUSE ] [ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE ]
>> James: OK.
YES, I AM GOING TO LONDON FOR A WEEK OF SHOWS WITH "THE LATE
LATE SHOWS" STARTING NEXT MONDAY.
>> OOH!
>> James: OK.
OK.
JOSH, LET'S DO IT.
♪ YOUR IMDB IS FILLED WITH MOVIES THAT SUCK
♪ FORGET STRAIGHT TO DVD THESE ARE STRAIGHT TO
♪ GARBAGE TRUCKS AND YOUR CAREER SINCE 2000
♪ HAS BEEN TOTALLY DEPRESSING AND NOW YOUR SHOW "THE RANCH"
♪ HAS RUINED MY FAVORITE SALAD DRESSING,
♪ YOU WERE A 90S HEARTTHROB BUT NOWADAYS THAT'S A REACH
♪ I'D RATHER WORK WITH WILMER AND HE WAS YOUR SHOW'S SCREECH
♪ YOU'RE MARRIED TO MILA KUNIS SO I GUESS THAT'S COOL
♪ BUT WHY THE HELL IS SHE STILL WITH THE LOSER
♪ SHE DATED IN HIGH SCHOOL?
YES, BABY!
[ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE ] [ APPLAUSE ]
>> ♪ YOUR FAVORITE SALAD DRESSING?
♪ COME ON DUDE, BE REAL RANCH IS YOUR FAVORITE
♪ BEVERAGE, SKIN CREAM AND MEAL DIDN'T LIKE MY APPLE MOVIE
♪ I FIND THAT ODD JUDGING BY YOUR TRACK RECORD
♪ YOU'LL TAKE ANY JOBS YOU DID "OCEANS 8"
♪ THAT IS WORTH MENTIONING PROBABLY SHOULDA CALLED IT
♪ OCEANS ATE EVERYTHING BEFORE THAT YOU DID
♪ SO MANY ANIMATED FLICKS WE HADN'T SEEN THIS FACE
♪ IN A MOVIE SINCE YOU LAST SAW YOUR--
[ BLEEP ] OH, WELL.
THAT WAS A HOT ONE.
[ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE ] NOW, NORMALLY I'D GO TO THE
AUDIENCE FOR THIS ONE, BUT I JUST WISH WE
HAD AN EXPERT.
AN EXPERT IN HIP HOP AND JUDGING.
IF ONLY THERE WAS SOMEONE LIKE THAT.
[ MUSIC ] [ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE ]
[ MUSIC ] WHAT'S UP?
>> Reggie: ALL RIGHT.
PERFECT.
SO, WHAT'S THE CALL?
WHAT'S THE CALL?
>> FIRST OF ALL, I WANT TO SAY THAT WAS VERY ENTERTAINING.
[ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE ] NOW TO THE JUDGES' CARDS IN ONE
OF THE CLOSEST BATTLES IN THE "LATE LATE SHOW" HISTORY.
THE WINNER BY ONLY A HALF A POINT FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME IN
HISTORY, JAMES CORDEN!
[ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE ] >> James: NO!
[ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE ]
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, ASHTON KUTCHER AND DIDDY, THE FINALE OF
"DROP THE MIC" IS THIS SUNDAY ON TBS.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY!
[ CHEERING AND APPLAUSE ]