hi everyone I'm Adrienne Everheart, your feminine energy dating and relationship
coach, and today I'm going to talk about feeling insecure and scared when you're
in a relationship or even in a dating situation. what it feels like to be
insecure scared uncertain feeling like there is a lot of urgency to clear the
air make sure everything's okay between you and your man. I'm gonna share with
you five tips about how to overcome that and embrace your feminine energy and
actually get EMPOWERED from it instead of feeling defeated nervous anxious and
worried. the first thing I want to share with you is that feeling anxious or
worried or insecure in a relationship is a perfectly okay thing to be feeling! now
I'm not saying that it's okay to feel these things in a relationship ongoing
and that they are really becoming almost like the normal feelings that you have
in a relationship, but I want to emphasize that what you're feeling is
absolutely a normal human emotion and it's a good indicator that something in
the relationship is wrong. it can also be an indicator that some old hurts some
old pains that aren't exactly healed or you're still feeling wounded from your
past there's a little bit of work you need to do there with making your inner
wounded girl feel more comfortable in what may be otherwise a very loving
relationship with a man. in my IheartloveAcademy group online I had a couple
of girls come up recently and they said, "you know I'm feeling so nervous and I
feel like so anxious about my relationship with my guy and I know I
shouldn't I know... I shouldn't be," and that's just not true. whatever you're
feeling is perfectly okay I want you to just give yourself the okay and give
yourself comfort during this time the last thing we want to do is make you
feel like there's something wrong with you that there's some other reason or
something else that you need to be doing other than just caring for yourself and
nurturing yourself in a really positive way during this time. that is one of the
most powerful things you can do to get into your FEMM ENERGY
...is not shut yourself down isolate yourself and assume that there is
something wrong with you! by far there is not. the second thing I suggest doing in
this situation is reclaiming yourself & reclaiming your identity in yourself. if
you are in a situation where you're just feeling nervous there's usually a little
bit of laser focus going on. there's a little bit of obsession, maybe spending a
little too much time thinking about what's going on (with the man) and trying to figure out
trying to solve it. so we want to get you back into your body because remember
this is what feminine energy is all about. it's about you being back inside
your body and being aware of what you're feeling so you can process your emotions.
it's when we get trapped up in the mind of masculine energy thinking that we're
going round and round in circles and we can't sleep we can't eat and we're just
feeling miserable. so I want you to figure out ways to reclaim yourself! now
here are some things that I've worked for me and that have worked for my
clients the first thing I want you to do is I want you to change up your routine
a little bit if you always drive home a certain way I
want you to drive home a different way if you always go to yoga at 6 o'clock I
want you to try a morning class instead I want you to begin to see areas you can
shift up your routine so you can reawaken your body to possibility and
change another thing that I like to do is I really embrace ending my shower
with a lot of cool and cold water I think it helps my skin and it surrounds
me with positively charged ions and it makes your hair look really glossy and
beautiful but more than that there's a certain amount of resiliency that it
gives you in that moment now I don't know all the psychology behind that but
I do know if you were to google it you might find a lot of information about
just switching up the temperature in your shower now is also the time that I
want you to consider taking a quick little trip it could even be a day trip
to another city to go to a shopping mall and have a slice of cheesecake it's
somewhere new it could be anything like this a short trip I think would be
better because if you're feeling lost nervous
anxious a lot of times getting further away from home really isn't the thing
you want to be doing right now you want to make sure that you can have a little
bit of distance to just reevaluate yourself rediscover yourself and see
what it feels like to be in your skin again as a woman on her own so take a
little trip to the mall in another city or a little weekend trip with some
girlfriends and just get out get away from the guy and get your mind off of
him and begin to reclaim yourself now the last thing in this step number two
which is reclaiming yourself is to make sure you surround yourself with your
tribe ladies so often we go into isolation which is masculine energy that
is what men do men go to the cave they isolate themselves you know that's how
they figure something out so often women contact me and they say:
"well I do want to go back and date but I'm not ready I need to stay at home and
heal myself," and I'm always dumbfounded by this I completely get the notion of
staying home and feeling safe and comforted but what about learning what
are you really learning by being home alone and I believe that the man that is
in front of you or whatever comes in front of you as a challenge as a trigger
that is your teacher right now that's your teacher and you need to learn
whatever you can from this person even if it's just one quick coffee day so
aside from dating and really getting back out in the world isolation is a big
no-no I don't want you to isolate yourself I want you to find your tribe
find your tribe find a group of girlfriends who get you find someone of
any age male or female who really gets you and that you can talk to freely and
be yourself and kind of reclaim your identity now there are some wonderful
services online even that have online therapy sessions or even something like
that can really reconnect you to who you are and there are so many affordable
options out there right now so find a way to reconnect with your tribe get in
touch with some girlfriends some people you love who really support you and
don't talk to them so much about the relationship
& focus on that but instead focus on just spending time with them and being
with them in reclaiming and identifying who you are as a feminine energy woman
my next tip here is number three I want you to allow yourself with love to feel
whatever it is you're feeling this is where we're gonna go back to no judgment
of the south we're not gonna judge ourselves and say we shouldn't be
feeling this way we're not gonna lock ourselves up from the rest of the world
because we're feeling a certain way I want to be able to process what you're
feeling in a really healthy way so that your feminine energy can really expand
and grow and feel wonderful inside of you so what does this mean it means
we're not running from how we feel we're going to embrace how we feel it's when
you run from a feeling it's when you have a thought
remember that comes first there's usually a circumstance then you have a
thought and then you have a feeling from that thought and that's when we can shut
down the action is then to shut down but instead I want you to find what you're
feeling it may be a feeling of no one's ever going to love me again I'm never
gonna find another partner I'm gonna be alone the rest of my life whatever it is
just say I love the part of me that is feeling she's always gonna be alone and
just sit with it for a second and love that little part of you that is giving
you such terrible news such a terrible prediction and just love her and just
see if it doesn't dissipate and the same goes if you're having any other sort of
dark thought I love the part of me that just wants to pack my bags and run away
I love the part that just wants to scream and shout right now I love the
part of me that just wants to get up from my desk and walk out of work right
now love those parts of you and see if maybe
some comfort from you is needed and usually when you embrace and love that
part of you that wants to run or be scared or cry usually that voice will
also pop up and say well you know here's what I really need I really wanted to go
see my mom this weekend or I really want
to - you know treat myself to something I
really wanted to cook a nice comfort home-cooked meal for myself that voice
will begin to speak to you in ways that you can heal your life that is your
feminine energy speaking to you listen to it it's there to help you so number
four if you're feeling anxious and scared something's not right something's
not right something's wrong and this is where I want you to look at your life
and really look at this situation I'll give you another example that I have
over I heart love Academy recently I had a client talking about how she was just
so nervous so anxious every day she's waiting to hear from her guy on her cell
phone and get a message and hear from him and connect with him and just in
such a panic and anxious urgent place to connect with him and again she felt like
she should never be feeling this way but I said to her I said well tell me a
little bit about what's going on and lo and behold they have been dating for
three years they've broken up several times but there's no marriage on the
table there's no marriage on the table so this is often a wiser part of you
speaking giving you a big shake and saying something is not right here so I
want you to be aware that we're feeling anxious or anxiety or any sort of other
mood scared fearful about the situation you're feeling that urgency I want you
to wake up to what is really wrong here and by wrong I mean you don't like it
you don't like what's happening I had another client say you know I love my
guy so much but he's cheated on me in the past I've caught him cheating and I
think he's cheating again but I'm too scared to ask him and so all I do is
follow him around all day to see if he's cheating on me what type of life is she
having this is a horrible existence for this beautiful powerful dynamite woman
so when you get back into your feminine energy you wake up to what is going
wrong what it is that you don't like that's what that anxiety is telling you
that's what that fear and anxiety is telling you is to wake up something
ain't right now last tip how do we fix it
how do you go about fixing this well you have lots of options once you're back
into your feminine energy and you're grounded because one of the things that
we've done now is we've realigned you with a very powerful alluring and
attractive energy it's not an energy of urgency I have to know right now I have
to have all the answers in front of me you're not in a panic you're in a nice
calm slow intelligent feminine energy place you know your boundaries you know
what you're gonna put up with and what you're not going to put up with you can
make much better decisions for yourself you can speak in a much better way and
communicate to your man so he can hear you now let's talk a little bit about
speaking to the man now I have a very popular book called "500 ways to talk to
a man" it is full of scripts phrases text messages and all sorts a way to dig down
inside of your body and find what it is you're really feeling so you can
communicate clearly with the man in your feminine energy it's a great little book
to keep on your phone or your tablet or your computer you can even use in the
Adobe PDF reader there's a little magnifier tool and you can search out
certain terms you want to learn about so at the end of the day what needs to
happen here is you need to be able to come to the man and say I am feeling so
scared I'm feeling so worried every day that there's something big wrong in this
relationship or whatever it may be and then ask him I'm curious how you feel or
say is there anything I should know and then after you ask one of those
questions I want you to sit there and just look at him and unzip your heart to
him unzip your heart to him look at him and wait for the answer so often it is
clarity clarity is the thing we're afraid to get because then we'll know
but this is when you want to listen to a man when a man tells you
I can't be with you I love you I think you're amazing you deserve someone so
much better than me I just don't want to be in a relationship I just can't do
this that's when you listen your boy is gonna say hey can't we fix this I'm in a
huge panic can't we fix this right now and I want you to accept his no if he
does deliver some news or a feeling or a message that you don't want that you're
not ready to accept go ahead and accept it from him for the time being tell him
I feel very sad hearing this whatever it may be yet I accept your no now we're
open on a whole big can of worms here because there are so many variables
there are so many potential outcomes and this is one of the reasons I tell
everyone while you're learning about feminine energy check out my book "500
ways to talk to a man" I've given you a couple of good tips here and some ways
to really get grounded in her feminine energy again so you can feel confident
and poised and calm in your body and remember if you don't love all parts of
you no man can either so I want you to
really get used to loving yourself no matter how you show up all right
everyone I hope this video has been helpful for you I love to read your
comments in the comment section please give this video a thumbs up and please
make sure to subscribe to my channel so you don't miss any of my live updates or
future videos I look forward to hearing from you soon and much love you bye bye <3