(intro music) (audience applauding)
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much!
Thank you very much, everybody have a seat.
Thank you.
Have a seat everybody, thank you!
Thank you! Wow!
That is,
that is the first time I've touched my nipple
in like over a year. [Andy] I know.
I know.
(audience cheering)
The CDC said I couldn't do it,
I don't know why,
it has nothing to do with COVID.
They said it was creepy.
That's what they said.
And I've told you,
you can do it at home
but you say it's not the same.
It's not the same.
I need strangers watching.
(audience cheering)
These aren't strangers!
You know, I will say something nice about this:
you are my second crowd in,
second live crowd in 15 months,
but I do wanna say you're the first one I've respected.
(audience cheering)
'Cause,
I'll be honest,
those people last night were lowlifes.
I'm just gonna tell you right now--
Yeah, they sold good weed though.
[Conan] (laughs) (audience laughing)
As you probably know,
our last show is next Thursday,
June 24th.
That's, (audience awwing)
yeah last show yeah,
seven shows left before we wrap up the nightly format
and then I'm off to join Cameo.
Now, here's the plan. (audience laughing)
Here's--
birthday wishes shot in my bathroom.
(audience applauding)
Yes.
Birthday,
bar mitzvah,
hundred dollar--
let's say they're gonna go for $120 a pop
but I will take less,
I will take a lot less,
and,
if anyone here wants one,
just let me know and I'll,
I'll take care of it. (audience cheering)
No, no.
You haven't seen the bathroom, it's really sad.
This is very exciting,
it is so nice to be out here again,
and let's give it up again for our band.
(audience cheering) So amazing.
I, I mentioned this last night,
one thing we're doing these last two weeks is taking a look
at some of my favorite moments from our time here at TBS.
Tonight,
I'd like to show you a remote segment from 2012,
when I visited the Irish American Heritage Center
in Chicago, (audience cheering)
and I,
I went to Chicago and I learned
the sacred Irish art of step dancing,
and yeah,
so, well anyway,
here's what happened.
I'm here with Maureen O'Looney.
I'm going to learn Irish step dancing today.
Good, dance today, we'll you're in the right spot.
Now, I'll be honest with you,
I don't have much of a backside,
there's really nothing--
Well, you don't need that for dancing.
It's the legs that's the most particular thing.
You do need a backside to keep the legs from,
attached to the back,
and this is what holds it in and there's nothing--
You have enough. You have enough.
[Conan] Oh. You'll pass okay.
Okay, didn't realize you were studying me that closely
(claps) down there.
You keep your eyes up,
I'm up here Maureen, okay?
(slaps)
That's my business, not yours.
(laughs)
[Conan] Um.
[Maureen] We are in the, the Irish gift shop now,
here at the Irish American Heritage Center.
The soda bread.
Oh, soda bread.
We have the soda bread.
It's the Irish version of bread.
And the scones. Not very good.
Irish bacon... Irish--
Harrington's Irish Bacon.
Uh, bacon and,
bread that's not as good as other bread.
Irish soda bread, Yeah.
whole wheat bread, Oh.
it's good for your system.
It's good for your system,
that's what they always say when you're
eating something that's not tasty.
Look at these.
These are Taytos!
Look at that,
Taytos!
Just in case you mistakenly pronounce it 'potato',
they correct you!
"No, it's a Tayto!"
Say a Tayto.
Taytos. Oh, I'll have a Tayto.
What is this that you--
This is a sod of black stone turf from Ireland.
Oh, how much for this,
this piece of 'turf' from Ireland?
How much for this?
I'll pay, oh I'd pay top, top penny for this.
Yeah, that's a special bit of turf,
it's called black stone turf.
Oh, you are running the greatest scam of all times,
Maureen.
Oh, it's a bit of turf for ya!
Are you sure this isn't Irish bread?
No, no, this is turf. Kinda looks the same and,
oh my Lord it tastes the same!
No, you can have the chip instead.
Oh how about,
this goes well with a Tayto!
This and a Tayto!
(laughs)
Chef, Irish Chef sauce.
Irish Chef sauce right there.
That's good, that's the Irish chef right there,
he looks Irish.
Check that guy out,
that's an Irish man if ever I saw one.
What?
How is he the Irish chef?
He's from Mongolia.
Look at this guy.
That's not a leprechaun!
That's a burn victim,
look at this guy!
Extra boxes of Tayto!
Tayto!
When the Irish American Heritage Center
purchased this school,
the first thing they did was they ripped out the library,
and installed this bar.
(audience cheering)
This is kindergarten through third grade.
Right over here,
there's a second bar.
And, there's this bar on the second floor.
And don't forget this third floor bar.
And just across the hall from the third floor bar,
this portable bar on wheels.
In case you can't get up,
this can be brought to you at any location.
And I'm sorry, I almost forgot the fourth floor bar.
We'll count them up:
that is six bars in one former elementary school.
(chanting)
We're here for the great moment.
This is where I, Conan O'Brien,
learn the art of Irish step dancing.
In cartoons the Irish jig is always,
you know this is what I kind of think it is.
Mmm.
I mean, I don't know what to say, do you know what I mean?
When I think of a guy finding gold
at the end of the rainbow,
I always say like see them like "yee hee hee hee!"
Yeah. (girls laughing)
They're laughing at me.
This is what it was like for me as a boy in fourth grade.
So the feet, one foot goes this way--
The other one tuck it in behind though.
This goes back that way.
Yeah.
Okay. Knees in.
Now, there's lots of tearing and bleeding back here now,
is that normal?
Yes. Okay.
My arms squeezing my body,
I'm standing very still,
and--
Now you have to hold that--
Hold this? while you dance.
And move your legs.
And then, and then dance while doing this.
Yes.
Just move your legs.
It's impossible, it can't be done.
Put your arms out.
They just float up.
Can we give me heavy things to hold?
I mean, what can we do?
(tape being pulled)
(audience laughing)
Now the first thing is a jump.
Right?
Kick out.
Then kick out,
then back!
(Irish dancing music)
Woo!
(dancers clapping and cheering)
(audience laughing)
(audience cheering)
Well, I'm feeling pretty confident about my step dancing.
I think it's time for a real performance.
Ha!
(drumming)
(audience laughing)
(audience cheering)
(reversing sound effect)
(sound of impact)
(audience cheering)
(audience applauding)
I kicked a beautiful little girl in the face.
[Andy] For a while, that was your thing.
That was my thing!
Yeah, yeah.
From 2012 to 2014, that was, I owned that.