the secret life of narcissists hello lovelies welcome to night free formula my name is freedom
thank you for joining me um today's episode i want to talk about the secret life of narcissists
um but before i start just quickly can i remind you guys to like and subscribe i like
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and hit that bell notification all right lovelies let's jump straight into it oh actually one more
thing sorry i've got a rabbit on the loose in the background please excuse the mess i'm in the
middle of moving furniture around doing a whole lot of stuff in my house bear with it all right
lovelies i've got notes let's get to it now so the narcs love secrets they love secrets because
secrets are power um now for the nastiest who's chronically bored right secrets make life fun and
what i mean by this is to the narcissist right anything that they do could be so much more fun
if they were doing behind someone else's back and in secrecy right it adds a whole element of risk
of power like i said of feeling like you know i know something you don't know um and they get a
kick for example you know the married ones or the ones that are in relationships with people
you know they get a kick out of knowing that their secrets are hidden and that they are you
know that their partner for example you know is so close to finding out the secret but they're
just not there yet you know there's there's kind of a power they get from being in that position
right so there are five different things that the narcissist keeps secret and the first is their
sex life now you may think that they never cheated on you that you may think that they were faithful
because they said it right they said that that's the type of person that they were but in actuality
right i've been doing this particular job now for three years and i have spoken to hundreds of women
and i'm telling you you know you think that they are faithful but they are not now just because you
didn't catch them doesn't mean they're not up to no good and also just because you know it might
not be happening necessarily um in this reality as in you know in front of you in real life but
that doesn't mean that they're not you know online um sorry that's the rabbit oh hey flops
um flopsy is our one-eyed rabbit she's um she doesn't normally kind of roam around the house but
we have to let her out for exercise obviously and i thought it would be a good thing to just have
her halfway in the background i didn't expect her to make a cameo but anyhow that's fine all right
so back to it so you know just because they're not um you're not catching them cheating in real life
doesn't mean they're not doing online or behind your back you know in some way shape or form which
leads me to point number two so they keep their sources of supply secret so you don't realize
that he you know that and i say hey because once again you know my channel is for women if they're
men watching you're more than welcome but i'm just you know i'm not going to edit myself the whole
time so so if um you know you don't know what he's up to and the narcissist will be sourcing fuel you
know they will be sourcing fuel they'll be trying on other people they'll be talking to other people
flirting with other people seeing how it works seeing if it fits seeing if they can get some
fuel you know from the woman that serves him you know at the local counter at the cafe or anything
you know anyone can be a source of supply to the narcissist the narcissist will put it out there
and if they get fuel in reply in response you know they'll work it some more to see how far
they can take it so that but they're never going to come home and say to you oh guess what i did
today you're never going to hear about it unless i want to triangulate you unless it serves them
for you to hear about it but as a general rule um it is super secretive one second i was gonna see
what this rabbit's up to hang on okay sorry about that um she was just running a mug
so getting back to it um back to this you know this the secret sources of supply so they're never
going to actually tell you um and the thing is that if you're kind of observing it as a
third party it's super confusing because you don't understand it doesn't run along kind of the normal
rules of relationships so what i mean by that is you know when you're in a relationship sometimes
people end up falling out of love and they you know maybe start an affair or maybe they end the
relationship or you know maybe they accidentally have a kind of spark with another person
you know and that kind of stuff i mean it's you know it's not necessarily the greatest thing
when that happens but that's you know sometimes how things go but with the narcissist if you're
paying attention you what you'll see is them kind of flirting with like a whole number of
people i mean in my particular case there was like five i think it was five or more
um women that i had seen him flirting with and playing these kind of games with like in front
of me as well we were married and it was super strange and so in my mind i was trying to figure
out you know is he falling in love with that this one or that one and in hindsight obviously
not falling in love with anyone but i didn't know that then and it was super confusing to me
you know so anyhow they're never going to tell you about who their other sources of supply are unless
it is to triangulate you you know so then they can throw it in your face and say oh so and so does
this better than you or so and so thinks that i'm a really good guy or so and so you know whatever
all right love is number three is their phone right if you knew what was going on in that phone
so there's there's a few things the narcissist does one is they either um have a second phone
right so if you have a narcissist who's always saying to you you know give me your phone and
want to check your phone that kind of thing that's usually a bit of an indicator of what
they're actually up to because they project right so there's that they're going to project on you so
when they're saying that they're probably hiding something now they're either hiding it like i said
um with the second phone and they'll literally hand the phone over to you knowing full well
there's nothing on that particular phone right or the the second thing that they do is they use
hidden apps i'm going to link i've got another video about this hidden apps and tools where
that are used like for spyware um so that you can they can literally hand the phone over to you
knowing full well that without a certain password you're gonna see the phone one way right which is
the public way right but if you put the code in it becomes the private view and it's totally
different in the private mode you can actually see his text messages his photos his videos his
call logs you can actually see all that right but in the public mode you see an edited version
it's like you know um on the computer when you go incognito sorry incognito or i think they call it
dark doesn't matter incognito so if you don't want your search engines to be recording your searches
you can go incognito similar kind of thing right for example there's one media file and it's called
dot so it's a dot no media and if you have that dot no media file on your phone right certain
images that you put in it will not be seen by anyone unless i'm not sure exactly how the dot
no media works all i know is that um when i had access to his computer uh sorry his phone um
and i searched because i end up with his old phone and i searched this.now media and sure enough form
it it appeared i found it so i'm not sure how it works but i do know that it stops you from seeing
certain images so in the narcissus phone that's where their secrets are hidden but like i said
they're never going to let you have access to it so even when they are handing over the phone
to you that's because they know full well that you will not be able to access the actual photos
messages whatever which leads back to well one and two really hidden sex life and hidden sources of
supply okay secretive sources that's why secretive sex life all the same number four darlings another
narcissist secret is their past right you think you know the person that you're with
right but the reality is you only know what they tell you and the fact of the matter is they lie
and they edit and they play themselves out to be the victim and they don't actually tell you
the truth i mean that's just the bottom line you will not hear the truth from a narcissist
it doesn't matter how long you talk to them doesn't matter what you ask how you ask it
how you play the situation it doesn't matter what you do right because the power is in the secret
right in them not knowing it's like you know that um that kid's fairy tale about rumpelstiltskin
right i can't remember the exact story but i'm pretty sure it was like
i'm pretty sure it was something like the baby was stolen and something like that and he would only
give back the baby if the princess could remember could guess his name which was rumpelstiltskin
so essentially what the you know what the underlying theme is you know there's power in
knowledge in being able to name things and being able to be aware and to know what something is
right so with the narcissist they keep all of this stuff hidden because if you had that information
maybe you would be able to piece together that oh he's actually really abusive he's actually really
toxic he actually has really bad relationships he's actually done time in jail he's actually
you know so their past and their history is definitely one of their best kept secrets and
number five is pretty much everything i just wanted to say this like narcissistic they love
secrets there's so much power in that you know they get a real kick out of like i
said imagine the kick they get out of screwing around right knowing they're doing it you're
demanding to see their phone right it's all the evidences all the evidence is there in the phone
and they're handing it over to you knowing full well that there's like a one in one million
chance that you might actually get the right passcode or you might know what to do
you know and the adrenaline rush that they're going through and then the um the duper's delight
the sheer joy that they have when you can't actually get into their phone but you're holding
all the secrets in your hand you know the power and the jupiter's delight and if the if you don't
know what jupiter's light is it's basically just the joy that a psychopath or a narcissist gets
from duping someone from conning someone and getting away with it it's kind of like that
that look oh no sorry i won't i was about to be political but i'm not gonna because i just
keep getting myself in trouble online so i'm just gonna stop that right now anyhow duper's delight
watch out for smug weird smiles at the wrong time right they're usually saying something
or covering something all right lovelies i think that covers it all narcissists are secretive and
if you knew their secrets you'd be gone you'd be a mile away okay all right thanks listening bye-bye