-Pal, are you excited?
It is officially out today, the memoir.
-Yeah, I mean, I'm excited, but I'm also a bit terrified,
because it's like all my personal, private secrets.
-Yeah. But you knew that was going to come out.
I mean, that's why you're --
-Yeah, I know, but when you're writing it,
it's just you in a dark room, just going...
You know? And reviewing my journals, going, "Oh, yes."
-Now everyone's going to see it.
But there's so many great stories,
and I want to get to all this.
First of all, since I've seen you, you've become a mom.
Congratulations on having a --
[ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪
That's the best thing. -Yep.
-Can I show this? -Yeah, show it, yes.
-Oh, no! Look at Royce. -This is my daughter.
-No, no, no! She's so cute!
-And it's just awesome having a baby,
because you never know when you're just going to pick them
up and they projectile vomit all over you.
-Yeah, you never know. -You don't know.
-No, it's a gamble every time you pick them up.
-Every day is different. -How old is she?
-She's 17 months today, actually.
Yeah. And she's a little cutie. [ Cheers and applause ]
Thank you. Thank you.
-And recently engaged, too. -Yes, got engaged.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Not the baby. Not the baby. -No.
-No, no. You -- Not the baby.
-Me got engaged to my Disney princess at Disneyland.
-That's right.
-So, yeah, we got engaged and had, like, a violinist
playing, like, "Can You Feel the Love Tonight?"
-Oh, my gosh! -There's rose petals.
It was very, very romantic.
-This is a lot to celebrate. -I know, I know.
So the good news is, the book has a good ending.
-Yeah. Happy ending. Yeah, it's a happy ending.
Exactly. -Yeah, I know. Yeah.
-But it's great. It's so well done.
I mean, was there any stories
that you were hesitant to put in there?
You're like, "Eh, I don't know."
-Yeah. I mean, there's a story about
I lost my virginity quite late in life, at 35.
So people were like -- Yeah, not a joke, sadly.
So, people -- And then now I was like,
"Should I put that in?
Like, I don't know." -Yeah, why not?
-But I feel like if I was reading somebody's memoir,
I just really want to hear everything,
like, the things that might be embarrassing about them
and, you know, the good things.
So I put it in. -Yeah. I mean, 35?
I mean, some of us are in their 40s.
-Well, some people like, apparently, Queen Elizabeth I
like, never had sex ever.
-Wow. -So -- Yeah.
So, you know, I beat her. -So you're in good company.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
"I beat her." -Yeah.
It's a very funny book.
You talk about your childhood, and a couple things
that stuck out with me, made me laugh is,
you wanted to be a rapper at one point.
-Obviously, obviously. I mean... -That's what we thought.
-Yeah.
-When you walked out, I go, "Oh, yeah."
-Yeah, growing up from the bush, yeah, I naturally just thought,
"Yeah, I'm going to become a superstar rapper."
-You actually recorded, like --
-Well, I had a little group with my sister,
and we were called Sisterz, with a "Z."
'cause that's, like, hardcore.
And I actually -- I did record a demo on cassette tape
to send out to all the record labels.
And it was an original.
It was called "When Skeletons Rule the Earth."
-Ooh! -Alright?
-Wow. Interesting. Yeah.
-'Cause skeletons was, like, the most hardcore thing
I could think of to rap about.
-"When Skeletons Ruled the --" -"Ruled the Earth."
-Ruled or Rule? -Yeah, it was like, you know,
if there's just skeletons walking around the Earth and,
like, how dangerous that would be.
-Wow. Oh, of course. -That was the song.
And then I recorded it,
and it was just like, "When skeletons ruled the Earth."
[ Beatboxes ]
"When skeletons ruled the Earth."
[ Beatboxes ]
And then it had a breakdown bit where we just went.
"Skeletons, skeletons, skeletons, skeletons."
-Wow.
-And then it just hit back in with
"When skeletons ruled the Earth."
-Yeah, yeah, yeah. ♪♪
-♪ And another skeleton and another skeleton ♪
♪ Skeletons rule the earth ♪
♪ Hey, he's gonna get you, too ♪
♪ Skeletons rule the Earth ♪
♪ Mm-mm! ♪
Yeah, it's a great song. -So...yeah.
-That's a great song.
-I mean, yeah, totally original song I made up.
And -- But no record company ever wrote me back.
-Oh! -Ever. I know.
-It's just ridiculous. That is -- But --
-Wasn't meant to be. Yeah. -I want to talk about this.
There's a story in here about -- it's, again, a happy ending --
but you getting malaria.
-Yes. Yeah.
-And how it changed the course of your life.
-I went to live in Africa after high school in, like,
a gap year and got malaria real bad and was in hospital
kind of -- Malaria is like no other disease I've ever had.
Not that I've had like 10 billion or anything.
Remember? Virgin till 35.
But, so, I was in a hospital, hallucinating,
and I'd lost my hearing because of the drugs that they gave me.
And I'm hallucinating and I hallucinate
that I was an actress and that I was really, like, great
and I win an Academy Award.
And it was fully blown.
Like, I could see all the actors and actresses.
And I walk up onstage and then I give an acceptance rap,
like, because I was just --
-"Skeletons Ruled the Earth"? -No, I don't do that.
I was like, "Listen up, y'all, I got something to say.
It's about this Oscar that I won today."
And, like, I just kept rapping and I was, like --
It was so full blown that I came out of hospital
and said, "I'm going to become an actress."
And then everyone was like, "Uh, no,
we think your malaria has demented your brain."
They're like, "You know, you're not Nicole Kidman.
Like, no, it's not going to happen."
And literally, just my one best friend, Nick,
thought I could be an actor.
Nobody else did. -Yeah.
-Yeah. And he was so sweet.
He engraved a star with my name on it
and said that, "One day, when you have a dressing room,
that, you know, you could put that on your door."
-See? It takes one person to believe in you.
And look at you now with a memoir.
Come on! Congratulations, bud.
-Thank you. -Rebel Wilson, everybody.
"Rebel Rising" is available now.