hey everyone I'm Frank thanks for stopping by I'm glad to see you all here
today I want to talk about your favorite personality type and mine the INFJ you
know I was thinking how often INFJs are portrayed as like these great people who
are like real empathetic and deep and stuff but the truth is we can be pretty
cold sometimes maybe we don't mean to be but it comes across that way so I just
wanted to talk about where that comes from and why sometimes people might say
to us hey man you're being really cold you're being a cold heart B word first
let me get this candle ready to be lit
we're gonna be smelling today a red wreath apple red apple wreath if I could
read correctly I put it right next to the crazy pills they're not crazy pills they're
just advil so shall we get started so as an INFJ you have the ability to
absorb other people's emotions and it's not I say ability like it's something
you can choose to do you can't choose to do it it just happens you absorb other
people's emotions it's not through some kind of thought process right an INFP
you might think oh we're similar cuz it's just one letter off they're also
very good at knowing what someone else is feeling but it's through a more
intellectual process of being able to put themselves in another person's shoes
and then figure out oh that's why this person feels this way cuz I would feel
that way if I went through what they were going through it's different with
INFJ's we just feel it it has to do with being near someone it's like if
you're in a close proximity to someone you will feel their emotions and there's
nothing you can do about it ain't nothing you can do about it as Diana
Ross said in that song so we're an emotional sponge and sometimes it can
feel like we are on the receiving end of the world's emotions we're just like
the dumping ground for everyone else's emotions when someone senses that you
get them that you understand how they're feeling view they connect with you
people will just keep doing that keep unloading on you when they sense this
connection and as an infj we don't like to say no to people we don't like to
hurt people's feelings you know and so when we start to get people dumping on
us we just let them we just listen that's what we're good at we're good at
listening and people can tell that people are like man this person is
really listening to me I feel listened to and they never stop
they just keep giving and giving and giving and you have to keep absorbing
all this emotion and let's be honest when people really need to connect with
someone and unload on them it's usually bad emotions so we get overwhelmed with
other people's negative emotions now it can be good emotions too but usually it
doesn't happen very often unless you're dealing with like an enlightened kind of
person way there they corner you for an hour and talk about everything that
they're very happy about and very thankful about it doesn't really happen
usually they're talking about oh my life sucks this is why and we just sit there
and take it now there's a part of this where after you keep receiving and
receiving and and all that listening to people it's easy to feel resentful in
your mind you're like I'm giving of myself all the time I can't help it I
just have to give myself to people in this way where I'm feeling their
emotions and empathizing with them and they give nothing back and that is very
difficult it's one of the hardest parts about
having this personality type because it often makes us feel like the world is
all take and no give so then what happens now here's the one thing about
INFJs you may have heard it referred to as the door slam but it doesn't
necessarily have to be extreme like shutting people out of your life forever
it doesn't have to be that extreme the door slam can manifest itself simply and
you slamming the door to your room and saying I need to be alone for a long
time because I've given of myself so much that I need to recharge and that
that's the thing about introverts all introverts need to recharge from social
interaction but I think infj is tend to let the battery go extremely extremely
low critical battery level low until you're totally burnt out and I think
other introverts maybe don't go that far or they don't have as much endurance our
batteries are big and we let them go down to extremely low levels and so it
takes a long time to get recharged if you follow that metaphor that analogy
that I'm putting forward there the problem is that we can't just shut the
door and take a lie down on the bed for a week or two at a time we have to go
out into the world you have to see all these people we have to function as
human beings and so we end up shutting the door psychologically to people
because we can't help but feel other people's emotions we have to kind of
withdraw and become cold and other people's eyes in order to just protect
ourselves and recuperate you know we can't we can't keep going at the same
rate all the time and so that is why it is easy for other people to
say man you were you were listening to me last week I was telling you all about
my IBS and how it affected my dating life and you were you were just right
there listening to me the whole time and now you won't even say hello to me all
right now you just used to say oh hi how's it going and then you run you
you're not giving me the time of day anymore man you're cold
I thought you were a different man but the truth is that maybe in a couple
weeks we can go back to being the emotional sponge allowing ourselves to
do that but for the time being we need to we need to recover and it's not easy
it's we're drained entirely now as you develop as a person this is something
that needs to be addressed if this is something that I'm learning myself is
learning to kind of find a deeper peace that isn't affected by the turbulence of
the ripples on top of the water this is why enough Jays are drawn to spiritual
practices spirituality religion or you know meditation things like that because
it's a way of finding that piece that isn't shaken even though we're absorbing
all this emotion and stuff we need to develop that core that is unmoved within
us or maybe not develop it find it because it's there I believe already and
that's why I have a my life I'm trying to develop myself spiritually so that I
am not so easily upset and disturbed and not tossed about on the you know
turbulent waves of life as infj is we take things so much more deeply and
thinking things can make a swing back and forth so much emotionally that we
need to find that that peace within us or we're gonna lose our minds so that's
why I enough Jays can be cold to people and that's what we can do about it I
think well I thank you for watching I really appreciate it if you liked it
click that like button if you didn't like it get out of here I
don't want to talk to you and if you want to see more videos subscribe okay
now to close it out I just wanted to do a quick little segment that is a bit
different I just want to share a few books that I'm reading right now that I
think are helping me go down the spiritual path and you know check them
out alright so first this is one that I finished a couple weeks ago this is the
wisdom of insecurity by Alan Watts there's a ton of Alan Watts stuff on
YouTube a lot of his lectures I highly recommend checking those out basically
what this book is about is how we spend too much time in our minds thinking and
that we miss out on the pleasure of life because we're too worried about living
life we take it too seriously and that it is only in acknowledging what we do
not and cannot know that we can find something truly worth knowing all right
next up I'm reading falling into grace by adyashanti he's got a lot of videos
on YouTube also he's definitely more spiritual than Alan Watts Alan Watts is
kind of like oh he's like a step removed from the spirituality he's teaching he's
not like a devotee he's just kind of explaining things you know idea shanti
is more about awakening enlightenment all that kind of stuff this book is very
similar to the power of now by Eckhart Tolle but is a bit more in-depth I think
and written in a more conversational way I recommend this I enjoy it I'm not that
far into it but it's good also I got this book and the next one I'm going to
talk about from thrift books calm and it's very cheap but it's kind of
interesting because it's like an old library book and this is from the Denver
Library who knew isn't that interesting I'm reading this book that was in the
Denver Public Library well I think it's interesting
and then lastly meister eckhart at the celebrated 14th century mister
in scholar this is you know Eckhart Tolle took his name from meister eckhart
this is like you know a more spiritual kind of a spiritual mystical book and
you can see that these are just short things you can read in there but it's
from a Christian perspective but a lot of it is really profound
let me just read one line that I thought I thought was really like whoa no that
no man in this life ever gave up so much that he could not find something else to
let go like dang son anyway those are the books I'm reading check them out and
I hope that can be a segment I bring back every once in a while to tell you
what I'm reading I read very slowly because I don't read much at a time so
it'll probably be like three years before I do another one all right well
anyway thanks for watching bye bye