- Comprehensive listening is one of the
key types of listening.
I'll explain what it is and give you some tips
to help you get better at it.
(chill rock music)
Hey there, I'm Alex Lyon,
and I have an hour long course
on effective listening skills for leaders.
Stick around to the end to hear more about that.
But first, let me quote Keanu Reeves,
who once said, "the simple act of paying attention
"can take you a long way."
And in that spirit, we're going to talk about
comprehensive listening.
This means listening to learn, to understand, to comprehend.
Essentially, you're listening for the idea,
the concept, the key parts of the message.
Some examples are the way you listen carefully
to your teachers in school.
Or listening to your coworkers or supervisor
so you can do your job well.
Or listening to family or friends
to learn how to drive or cook a certain kind of meal.
Comprehensive listening is all about absorbing
whatever the other person has to offer.
So here are four ways to get measurably better
at comprehensive listening.
And I'll give you a bonus tip at the end
that will prove without a doubt that you are listening.
Number one, flip the listening switch.
Recognize that it's time to listen.
Put aside all distraction.
Literally.
Put all your stuff away like your phone
and give the speaker all of your attention,
eye contact, and literally lean in.
Flipping the switch like this
will help you get in the right state of mind to learn.
So my wife is a springboard diver.
It's one of her hobbies.
And I sometimes go to watch her practice.
And she pointed out to me how focused and how well
her fellow divers listen to their coaches.
When those divers come out of the water after a dive,
they immediately get instructions from their coach
about what they just did.
Their eyes sharpen, they lean in.
Everything else in the universe disappears
and the coach gives them that one bit of instruction
that will help them do a little better on the next dive.
That's what flipping the switch looks like.
It's the same look that those A+ students have
when they're sitting in the front row of class
focused carefully on everything the teacher says.
Everything else disappears,
and you're tuned in completely to the message.
You flip the listening switch.
Number two, take notes.
This sounds old fashioned, but just like those A+ students,
great comprehensive listening
usually involves taking some notes.
I take notes during virtually every conversation
I have at work.
So I'm a college professor,
and right now I'm also the chair of my department.
That's like a supervisor.
And I take notes on every conversation
I have in the office when I'm in that role, or in a meeting.
I simply cannot remember everything that people say.
Nobody can.
And my supervisor takes notes
on every single conversation I have with him.
And he's an excellent listener.
You could always revisit those notes later,
which I almost always do.
And now I am far from a perfect leader,
but I am willing to say that something I'm great at
is following up.
Not many things fall through the cracks
because I take good notes.
And taking good notes also communicates to others
that you're serious about listening.
It says, I'm committed to this.
And I'm writing it down.
And it looks more serious, I think,
when you use a pen and a paper,
than when you use a device.
Because we often view devices as a distraction.
So use a pen and a paper if you wanna show your commitment.
Number three, separate key ideas,
details, and actions steps.
So for example, I create what looks like an outline
when I'm taking notes.
Key ideas, and then details,
and then anything I need to do afterward to follow up,
any action I need to take.
And I've learned to recognize as I listen tangents.
And I don't take notes on tangents or side conversations.
So I make what looks like an outline
to help me understand and follow up.
But there's no magic system to this.
You should use whatever approach helps you stay organized.
But it does take some practice.
Especially if you're new to a context.
It takes time and you have to listen and realize
what to pay attention to the most,
versus what are just smaller ideas in the conversation
and supporting details.
Number four, ask clarifying questions.
When you ask questions, it both helps you
really understand what's going on,
and it signals to the communicator
that you are following along.
So when I'm explaining something to a student
or an employee or a colleague,
if they don't ask any questions at all,
I am left wondering, are they following along?
Are they getting this?
But when they ask a few questions,
it builds my confidence that we have had a helpful exchange.
It assures me that they get it
and they're more likely to follow through
because I know that they have followed along.
So even if you're pretty sure that you're understanding,
ask a question or two to verify for everybody
that you are really listening.
And now for the bonus tip.
The key way that people will know if you are a good listener
is what you do afterward.
Your follow through.
I'll say it again.
The number one proof of good listening
is the action you take after the conversation.
That's the way people think.
So you have to put what you have learned into practice.
So when I'm listening, I make sure I understand
what action step I need to follow up.
How many times have you heard some version of this?
So something went wrong, and somebody will say,
"I told him what to do but he didn't listen."
That means there was no follow through.
And this is a bonus tip because it's not technically
part of the official definition of listening,
but in the real world, what you do after the conversation
says the most about how well you listened.
So I think Keanu Reeves was right in a general sense.
The simple act of paying attention can take you a long way.
And to me listening carefully
is a major part of paying attention.
So question of the day,
which of these tips do you need the most work on?
Leave a comment in that section below the video.
I look forward to reading it.
And I have two related videos that I'm posting,
one on active listening skills,
and one on empathetic listening skills.
And I'll link to those in the section below the video.
I also mention that I have an hour long course
on effective listening skills for leaders.
And if you wanna get really serious
about your listening skills,
I invite you take a look at that course for more details.
I put a link as well to that in the description below.
So take care, god bless,
and I will see you in the next video.