- We're in New York city.
And today we're gonna walk through all of Manhattan
and buy a slice of pizza
from every pizza place that we see that sells slices.
Let's go, let's do it.
- So we're starting here at 59th street, Columbus Circle.
And the idea is just to walk straight.
If you see a place that sells pizza
we're gonna get some pizza.
- So we're walking south.
Maybe we'll get all the way to the lower East Side.
- Witch is diagonal.
- But you know, but we're gonna walk south.
And every time we see one
we're gonna go buy a slice, take a bite.
Is it good? Is it bad?
Because I know that New York city
is the it's a pizza capital of the world
but how many good places are there?
Do they actually outweigh the amount of bad places?
- It's an important question.
And we got some friends with us here today.
- We got a whole crew.
(slow accordion music)
Come along, it's a parade.
The pie's the limit.
- The Pizza Parade. That that's gotta be a title card.
I would think.
- I know, feels good.
- Feels good.
- So there's a very loose plan for today.
And I like to plan things.
- Uh huh.
- And Keith said, "No we'll just go with the flow."
Which is not how production usually works.
So a little nervous about today, but it's gonna be fun.
I have a favorite pizza place I wanna make sure we hit.
And it's Joe's on Carmine.
- [Keith] Oh, I hope that we see it.
- [Alexandria] We're gonna see it.
- [Zach] Where are we going, Keith?
- We're walking south.
This is Broadway, the street of theater.
So we're gonna walk starting this way
because this is where most tourists
are going to be centralized.
And most tourists are just gonna buy a slice
from the place that's closest to them.
Especially at like two in the morning when you're drunk.
Oh, here we go.
- No way.
- Bakery pizza.
Come on, let's go grab a slice.
And specifically I was going to only order cheese pizza.
Hey, how you doing?
Good. Can I just get a slice of cheese pizza?
I figure if you can make a good cheese slice
you can make a good everything slice.
Thank you very much.
We got it.
Let's go.
Pretty good New York slice.
- It's way better than it looks.
- Oh, the crust is excellent.
- I'd give it a 3.5.
I thought it was pretty good.
♪ Pizza, pizza. Pizza, pizza. Pizza, pizza. Pizza Pie. ♪
- Simultaneously throughout this video,
you know I don't really eat pizza
I'm gonna be a little crust boy,
but I will be reviewing every beverage I find.
First up San Benedetto sparkling water.
Not a brand I familiar with, but the bubbles are delightful.
We're walking towards my least favorite place on the planet
which is Times Square.
I think when people come to New York
they assume that you need to and should go there.
You don't and you shouldn't.
(accordion music)
♪ Will this pizza be good ♪
♪ Entirely hard to say ♪
- Hey.
99 cent cent pizza, bam.
(accordion music)
Could I just get one slice of cheese?
Okay. This looks like a normal slice.
$1, 99 cent pizza and cash only.
(playful music)
Way better than I expected.
It's fresh.
- Three, two...
Okay, well (beep) me.
(accordion music)
- That's great pizza.
I think that's pretty good.
I'm wondering now
if every single place is just gonna be good.
(thunder crashing)
♪ Pizza, pizza. Pizza, pizza. Pizza, pizza. Pizza time. ♪
- I said time and they said pie.
- One slice of cheese, and can I grab a...
Is there a sparkling water?
- I Didn't get any drinks at that place.
Though, let me tell you.
If you're ever in New York, Poland Spring.
My personal favorite water.
- They were nice.
They asked where I was from.
It looks identical.
- [Alexandria] It looks like the same.
- To the 99 cent pizza we had before.
This is very soft on the bottom.
That's the, I can pick.
Look at that flop.
- Oh, that's a flop.
- [Zach] You gotta do the fold,
you gotta do the fold.
- [Keith] I'm trying too.
- [Zach] Ooh.
- [Woman] Wow, the cheese quality.
- [Zach] That's what you want.
- The taste is not as good as it looks.
(record scratching)
A little too wet, a little too goopy,
a little too soft overall.
The crust is no good.
I would say that one's the worst that we've had so far.
But it looked good, didn't it audience?
- [Woman] I don't know if we're hitting 50 places.
- Oh, we're hitting 50 places.
[whoosh]
[Keith] - Check out our new "Keep Trying" merch
- on tryguys.com!
- I'm gonna keep trying to find some more pizza.
- Let's go!
[whoosh]
- So we're leaving our maybe fourth place
and Miles just realizes
he doesn't have his backpack.
He has to run back to get his backpack.
Zach takes over the camera.
- [Zach] We'll meet up with you, Miles.
Good luck
- [Keith] And decides this isn't a pizza video.
This is a video of beautiful footage of New York city.
(slow jazz music)
- [Zach] We're now on 48th and 7th.
And we see pizza.
And a psychic greeting and a tattoo
- [Keith] World's best pizza.
- Whoa.
- [Keith] It is right off times square.
So I don't know if that means it's good.
(Zach laughing)
- Oh I think it's actually bad.
- [Zach] There he is, you see him?
He's that little guy.
You gotta do a real digital zoom.
This is zoomed.
This is as far as zoomed in as I go.
- [Keith] No, we're gonna go that way.
- [Zach] No there's pizza right there.
- [Keith] We missed it?
- [Zach] We missed it.
- The vibe and each shop, I love it.
Okay. We got a nice looking slice.
Ooh.
- Big bite.
- [Kieth] Not really good, but I think it's pretty good.
- [Miles] I've heard about the upside down bite.
Have you ever tried that?
- Oh the tongue down.
- [Zach] The Spider Man bite.
- [Miles] The Spider Man bite.
So that way you get the cheese on the tongue
instead of the roof of your mouth.
I've heard that's good.
[Everyone Groaning]
- Way to ruin a slice of pizza
- [Zach] I wanted a piece but now I don't.
It looks good though.
- [Keith] I'd put it in the three, three and a half.
- We should do another video
where you eat all the nuts on the street.
- All right, gross.
- Sugar nuts.
- We are at my least favorite place on the planet.
(boing)
- $5 for the gorilla?
- Can you pretend you're eating a slice of pizza?
- [Gorilla] Muevete! Muevete! Muevete!
- Muevete.
(fast paced accordion music)
- Okay now you're stealing us.
You're stealing us so we can't get away.
Oh no, he's got us.
- Oh.
- He's got us. Oh, he's got us.
- Aah. Okay, we'll see you later King Kong.
- All right, thanks man.
We have to get a slice from every place we see.
Which means we're going to Sbarro, baby
Mama Sbarro.
- [Zach] I didn't know that it was a mama.
- I didn't know it was a mama either.
Maybe it's...
- [Zach] Oh no.
- [Keith] Maybe.
- [Zach] Oh no.
- It's out of business.
That's heartbreaking.
It's just so sad.
(solemn piano music)
- [Zach] We'll miss you, Sbarro.
(upbeat music)
- [Keith] Let's see a sign that says pizza
just on the other side of the street.
Okay, this one's really hot.
They really nuked it that oven good.
Very pretty.
Needs to be folded.
- The way that your tongue lap that in
was just awful to look at.
- Your tongue is the mouth's hand.
I'm sad to report it's not good.
- Really?
- I was really hoping.
- The Times Square pizza?
- [Alexandria] Wait, what's the wait out five?
- Oh 1.5
- [Miles] It's 1.5?
- Yeah.
♪ History has its eyes on pizza ♪
♪ I am not throwing away my, just you eat. ♪
♪ I'm not throwing away my ♪
♪ Pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza just you wait. ♪
- [Keith] So this one is from Pizza Cafe.
- Oh no.
Are we getting worse as we go on?
- Very mess.
Crust has a good texture, tastes like nothing.
(upbeat Italian music)
- [Jared] It's not good? No?
Famiglia's?
- I would rate it below a one.
- A real quick intermission into this video.
While we are eating pizza.
Zachary is not eating pizza and it's one o'clock.
So I'm gonna leave and get lunch.
- [Alexandria] Oh, this is a chain.
This is like a lower than Sbarro.
- [Keith] Can I get a slice of cheese?
I'm getting really dehydrated really fast.
- Oh, is it so hot?
Are you a hot little mouth boy?
- It's bad.
- [Alexandria] Do you wanna just walk for a while?
Not stop for like 10 minutes.
- I'm gonna stop.
Everyone keeps questioning me and being like,
"Hey, let's actually just skip a few places
and just get further down
'cause we haven't left Midtown yet."
And I'm like, "Sorry, that's not the conceit of the video."
The video is I stop every time I see one.
And that's how it works.
I don't have a goal of getting to a certain place.
I have a goal of fulfilling my promise.
That's the video.
We're gonna need to divide and conquer now
and sends some people to get some pizza.
There's supposed to be a slice that's just up this street.
And you guys go down to that next one
and just buy a slice at the next one you see
and I'll meet you there.
- Stopping at Kiss My Slice Pizza Cafe.
Hello, can I get one slice of cheese pizza?
$1 Fresh Pizza.
- [Keith] Here we go. Little stiff.
I'm sorry, it's bad.
Let's try it.
This is the..... awful crust.
It's only getting worse.
Here you guys, go.
- This one's from Kiss My Slice.
- This one looks pretty okay.
The pizza has a lot of flavor.
Especially compared to the last five places we've had.
I don't know if it's actually good
Or if I'm just like, "Wow, those other ones were so bad."
- I think I need some ice cream.
- So this is 99 cent Fresh Pizza.
This is 99 cent Delicious Pizza.
They're very different looking.
Look at that.
Look, I mean just look at them.
Point it down, hold it.
Show him. Show the man.
Just hold on the slice in your hand.
For a dollar it's better than some of those $5 ones we had.
Maybe it's 2.5.
All right, Let's try crust.
Bland, but kind of in a nice way.
Like the Tony's frozen pizza has a bland crust
with it's kinda like a cracker.
Now let's dry the 99 cent Delicious Pizza.
- This is bland as (beep).
I don't agree with him at all.
- You don't think that's better
than some of those really bad ones?
- This tastes like a bad grilled cheese.
- I like grilled cheese.
- Bad grilled cheeses?
- I think this one's worse than that one.
99 cent Fresh is way more delicious
than 99 cent Delicious.
We're about halfway through.
Overwhelmingly not good.
The problem is when something's like bad and cost $5.
- [Miles] Yeah.
- That's not a good look.
For New York City to be the pizza capital of the world,
on average, the pizza should be good.
We'll keep going.
- We're so excited.
Yum.
- So while everyone else is eating pizza, I met Maggie.
We're at a vegan restaurant.
I got a big plate of lasagna.
- We're leaving the park.
Everybody's looking for caffeine.
Ned just got here
- The second wind informer.
It's called an act two energy boost.
- [Keith] Hell yeah.
Ned, what's the craziest place you ever did it?
- Huh, in a pizza shop.
- That's right my man.
Nah, no, no.
- Where is the craziest place that ever done it?
(saxophone music)
- [Keith] New York.
New York about it.
- New Yorkin' about it.
- New York in here.
- [Keith] There it is, Miles.
- Hello
- Hey there, can I just get one slice of cheese pizza?
Let's have a taste.
- Well, this is my first pizza of the day,
so I'm like, "Hell yeah brother, it's pizza."
But no it's a-
- [Alexandria] The flop is crazy.
This is objectively not good.
- It's school pizza at best.
- [Miles] What is your perfect pizza?
What are you looking for in a slice?
- Well, this sauce should be a nice salty and sweet.
It should have some sort of herb flavor,
maybe a little garlic to it.
The cheese blend, I should be able to either taste
a good mozzarella or I just should enjoy that cheese blend.
Little bit of stretch,
little bit of black on the bottom if we can.
Crust to have enough salt that it tastes good
just to eat it by itself with no dip.
That's what I want.
- Gotta have the leopard spotting.
- The leopard spotting would be a dream.
This one...
- [Ned] You know, more of a house cat.
- But we got another pizza right here.
- Yeah.
- We got Bravo.
Kosher pizza, baby.
It's fresh from the...
- [Miles] Whoa, Zach's here.
- [Keith] Zachy boy, whatcha brought me?.
- [Everyone] Wow.
- Where's this from?
- This is from Kiss My Slice.
- I just got completely sidelined
in a hilarious way.
- [Keith] Let me say that this one looks good,
but it's also hilariously greasy, but I'm into it.
and there is one..
- We're talking kosher.
- Pizza should be greasy.
- [Ned] Ew. Oh no, that's not kosher.
- [Keith] Baked into the pizza.
- [Ned] Actually, hair might be kosher.
- It's not amazing.
- Because of the hair I'm gonna do something dramatic.
- The crust is a little bland.
I mean, this is a very good looking slice.
I guess I'll put in a 2.5 to 3.
- We'll take it.
- This place probably like a 1.5.
Man, all three of those slices we just had
are I would say disappointing.
- So I ordered a chocolate chip
and then when I got to the actual ice cream part
they were like, "We actually don't have chocolate chip."
- Clearly we're getting off topic here
with the ice cream review portion of the show.
You were very nervous in the beginning.
I would say this is going better than expected.
- [Alexandria] Yeah, we've hit more pizza places
than I thought we would.
- [Zach] And they're all bad.
- [Alexandria] They're all bad,
and I can't wait for a good one.
- [Miles] At least the sound is good.
- Huh?
- We have a slice of Joe's pizza.
This looks pretty good.
- [Miles] Big bite on Joe's, that's good.
- Well, Ned took my first bite
which is supposed to be mine on every single pizza.
- Oh, did I break the format?
- A little bit.
- It's pizza fatigue.
- Yeah.
- It's hard to really tell what's good anymore.
- Pizza fatigue.
- I'm looking for more noise.
We're gonna have to ADR this whole video anyway.
- [Keith] I think it's not that good
or else we would think it was good.
- [Alexandria] It's not good.
- If it was good, I'd put this in my mouth and go, "Oh."
(cricket chirping)
Probably it's three, it's fine.
- Probably a porta potty at a music festival.
- [Miles] Okay, cool.
He was answering his question,
where was the weirdest place he ever did it?
I'm so tired.
(slow piano music)
- It's really nothing special.
- Let's go.
(upbeat music)
- [Keith] Alexandria has really been pushing
let's just at least go to one place that we know is good.
Eventually we do just sort of make our way to one
that is apparently one of the best slices
you can get in the whole city.
- [Ned] Oh no, you gotta be kidding me.
- [Keith] They're supposed to be open, but they're closed.
Alexandria's trying to knock on the door and be like,
"When will you open? Maybe if we just stay
for 15 more minutes."
This really I think kills the energy of everybody.
I can tell that the mood is everyone else is done.
To them the video is done.
(slow piano music)
But not to me.
I'm just gonna hit as many pizza places as I can
on the way home.
I'd like to get to 30.
So it's just gonna be me now.
And Jared Hopkins is gonna come.
- I'm gonna spot him.
- He's gonna spot me.
- [Miles] Wait, no you can't.
- I gotta go guys.
- [Miles] You can't.
- I gotta go. I gotta finish this pizza thing myself.
and fair, I'll roll my own camera.
- No, I'm scared.
- Okay. Bye everybody.
- Bye. Bye.
(super hero music)
We gotta find our pizza.
How many of 'em are good?
That's what we gotta find out.
Maybe we'll be able to go back to Sauce at the end
and it'll be open.
How can this be such a pizza town?
If the pizza, overall, is just okay?
Can I get one slice of cheese?
(orchestra can-can music)
It's definitely hot.
So hot
That one's not bad.
Okay. Let's keep on moving.
There's another one I think across the street.
It's got a cute little sign.
Can I get a slice of cheese?
I'm not New York in here.
- No.
- Hey, can I get a slice of cheese?
Let me see that.
Look at that, it looks like there's almost no sauce on it.
It's satisfying without necessarily being delicious.
I like the proportions of sauce to cheese.
We're on the mend.
It's okay, right?
Dude
Feels hefty, folds.
Smells Good.
I'm gonna give this a 4.5.
- [Jared] Wow.
- I think it's really good.
It's it was a dollar.
By far the best dollar piece I've had today.
- [Jared] I'm gonna be honest.
I was not anticipating such a high review when we got it.
- The crust is bad.
(Jared laughing)
- Okay, we're gonna bump it back down to a four.
- [Jared] All right, give it to me.
- [Keith] Give it a try.
- This is great.
- [Keith] Whoa, cool.
(beep) Yeah.
(orchestra can-can music)
Uh, oh.
- [Jared] There it goes behind you in the distance.
- [Keith] It reminds me of mall pizza.
The crust really brought it up for me.
The crust is quite good.
The place is called Marinara.
I probably like the sauce the least.
We're walking back to Sauce.
Let's give it one more try.
I was closed an hour ago.
I gotta end on the best pizza.
(chains banging)
What is happening?
Well, we tried coming back to Sauce Pizzeria
but their POS system isn't working.
Their POS is being a POS if you know what I mean.
(upbeat jazz music)
This pizza, it can't hold itself up.
It's like a three, they're all three.
They're all in the threes.
I can't end the video like this.
And then a young girl walks by.
What's your name?
- Maggie.
- The one thing we didn't do today is ask someone
who lives here, where we should go.
I say, "Where do you go?"
And she says, "Oh, a place really close to me."
I'm hoping this is amazing.
- [Jared] We hope it-
- I just don't wanna over sell it.
- We're putting a lot on you right now.
It better to be good.
There it is.
- [Jared] Here we go.
- [Keith] Hopefully the last slice.
- [Jared] We're out of pizza.
- [Keith] Can I get two slices of cheese?
It looks pretty good.
Grab your slice.
- [Maggie] Okay.
- It should be cool enough, probably not.
- Okay, cheers.
(climactic music)
- It's fine.
Keith, what's your conclusion from all this?
Number one, don't get cheese pizza in New York.
Two, put (beep) on the pizza.
Garlic salt, oregano, red chili flakes,
you're gonna want to use that.
And number three,
if you're making a video about pizza in New York,
I think you should look up some good places to go
in New York and go there instead.
But I wanted to find out what are the odds.
And the odds, to be frank, are low.
- Do not let this man march through (beep) Midtown
and make a conclusion about pizza in a city.
This is insanity.
- Here's the thing.
- He didn't go to the good place
- Here's the thing, of course I didn't go to the good place.
- You've said your piece.
- This is still my video.
A tourist would just go to what's closer to them.
So my thing is that New York should put some money
into making sure those pizza places
that are close to the tourist are good
because that's the impression
people are getting of your city.
- Dude, tax dollars?
- Yeah
Yeah.
(upbeat music)
- Okay, how about we do a video
where we're gonna eat every taco in LA
and we'll see how many of those are decent, huh?
- I think that would be pretty good.