today I'm gonna be talking about
breaking through your fears through my
own personal experiences I just want to
say no fear we all fear fear but
sometimes no fear can be a great mentor
it can be a guide for us in our life and
with every new challenge comes a new set
of fears that the fear does not go away
you know it's here to stay it's part of
being human it's part of who we are it's
a survival mechanism the key is to act
in spite of the fear or fears now I know
when I'm scared to do something normally
I you know if I allow myself to just get
to the other side of the fear there's
usually a big reward you know whether
for me it's growth learning pride
offensive accomplishment my greatest
moments have come from acting on my
greatest fears now this morning I'm
gonna share with you four instances in
which I faced my fears that led to
defining moments in my life the first
one is marrying a southerner this is my
dear husband Jalal maryoku
I met Janelle in 1994 I immediately
after the north-south Civil War and
tensions between the North and South
were an all-time high as unfortunately
they still are we met sparks flew we
fell in love and decided we wanted to
get married
the only challenge was how to convince
my family and just to give you some
background I come from a traditionally
conservative Hashemi family and you know
like I said he's from the south from an
ident from the south and I'm from Sanaa
from the north and normally a hatch to
me marries a hash to me marrying outside
you know marrying outside of the lineage
was considered taboo however you know we
when I approached my mother about
wanting to marry July and you know he's
an on hash to me her first reaction was
disapproval that we don't know him we
don't know his family we don't know
where he comes from when other family
members found out they were along like
how could I do this who is he what does
he want
has bad intentions you know and we need
to the extent that you know one of my
uncle's said to me threateningly had
this dodging man attention
you know this marriage will not happen
poor Jalil he received many threats
stood on the phone he was threatened you
know being heard of being killed and
everyone said to him it would not happen
that our traditions the customs were too
strong so you know like I said it was a
taboo for us to marry outside of a non
Hashemite family at the time it just
became a big scandal it was like a
modern-day Romeo and Juliet so but we
persisted and you know after meeting
many of the demands and conditions set
by my family you know I think they
thought if they made it very difficult
that we wouldn't end up getting married
but in any case we we did get married
happily in 1995 alhamdulillah and we
were you know I have been blessed you
know now it's been 17 years of handle
Amash all of that we've been married and
you know he is you know July Lee's love
of my life he's the father of my
children my partner and you know my best
friend and we've been blessed
alhamdulillah with four beautiful
daughters but I always think you know if
I have listened to the fear within me
the fear within my community if I have
listened to the taboos if I had married
someone that they thought was more
appropriate that met their criteria I
would have missed on so much I would
have missed on a wonderful marriage and
my beautiful family
and the second fear that I faced was
pursuing photography as a career now
people ask me how did you get into
photography and it was very simple when
I was doing my undergraduate studies and
business in the u.s. I took a six-week
summer course an intensive six-week
summer course in photography and well
actually before that I apologize I wrote
a list of 25 things I wanted to do
before I died and one of them was to
learn photography and I took this course
while I was in college and I fell in
love with photography immediately and
you know this is a wonderful time for me
to experiment and learn new things and
upon completion of my degree in 1994 I
returned back to Yemen and I was
employed by an ADIZ but although while I
was still
doing my photography at the same time
you know I I continue to do my
photography I exhibited with other
artists and to my great surprise people
were actually buying my work they wanted
to hire me for jobs so after three and a
half years of working at a Matisse I
decided to leave and become a full-time
photographer you know against my better
judgment and the advice of other people
like how could you leave a steady job in
a steady income I didn't know what the
outcome would be but I knew was the
right thing for me and it turned out to
be the best decision I ever made I mean
I got to travel all around Yemen to the
most remote areas meet fascinating
people photograph things in different
sectors such as you know development
education women's issues microfinance
and also during this period in 1999
along with other Yemeni women pioneers I
was honored you know when I say women
pioneers like the first woman tried a
bike the first graduate the first pilot
the first engineer I was honored as the
first Yemeni woman photographer by dr.
oofah Hassan Elohim had the empirical
research centre at Schneider versity in
2000 sorry in 1999 my husband had the
opportunity to go study in the US and I
joined him and took advantage enrolled
at a school called portfolio center was
in advertising school and because I had
wanted to you know improve my skills in
photography and it was a great
opportunity again and this is some of
the work that you know III did while I
was there and in 2003 we were blessed
that hamdulillah Jalil my with our first
daughter Sharon and after which
immediately we returned to Yemen and
upon you know I returned you know I was
a full-time mom stay-at-home mom so you
know why do I Swiss we heard home and I
started to question and doubt myself and
think you know did I make a correct
choice in choosing photography as a
career is it the right thing I compared
to my friends compared myself to my
friends you know who are doing things
and developments medicine law and when I
would be introduced at parties as a
photographer you know people would just
you know smile and say oh it's so nice
to have a hobby and that would infuriate
me you know but then I thought you know
when I was bein you bein FC I thought
you know it had to start with me that if
I didn't take myself seriously how would
I expect anybody else to take me
seriously so at that point I decided I
am a photographer I am an artist what I
do is meaningful to me and to others and
at that point everything changed for me
I received many job opportunities again
I got to travel around Yemen I worked
you know for several organizations I
exhibited my work locally and
internationally so it was you know a
great blessing so the second fear that I
faced was using myself in my work in
2010 I participated in a workshop by I
was taught by nebulous and organised by
the French cultural center and in it I
decided after the exhibit we were eight
photographers were gonna have an
exhibition called
words of eyes now after the when one of
it I did decided to show and work on my
work on the hijab and one of the series
I had to use you know use a woman you
know have have somebody to photograph
with with children I tried to find many
women I couldn't find any that would
agree to be photographing as soon as
they find out that the work will be
exhibited are shown in a website they
immediately would change their mind I
would tell them it's not a big deal your
veiled you're covered so then I thought
you know if I'm asking them to take a
risk and to be photographed I said why
don't I put myself to the test and put
myself in front of the camera and so I
did in this series mother-daughter dar
Adal in which I appear with my eldest
daughter shagging and you know it's kind
of like my commentary on the extremist
views that's reflected in women's dress
and after so they were - before the
exhibition I woke up in a cold sweat
you're thinking you know what have I
done an image a noon and a baggie you
know who on earth shows their work you
know shows their photo of themselves in
Yemen publicly you know never let the
bull Pony I thought my god you what's
what's you know what was I thinking
what's my family gonna think what shame
have I brought unto them you know what
what are people gonna say I imagine
people looking at my photos and making
comments about me and my daughter and I
was really really frightened then I know
and I seriously
removing my photos from the work from
the exhibition but then after agile Li
fella calmed me down I decided you know
that there wasn't much I could do now
and that it was in the hands of God and
luckily I I when I did show the work you
know no one from my family anything that
those that came to the exhibition even
if they wanted to only a few months
later my mother commented to me and said
you know I I don't understand understand
why would your photos of me and my
daughter I said to her I was trying to
impress twice to her mama it's a work of
art it's been purchased by museums and
institutions to which she said and then
many many ago maybe it's a little woman
you know who the heck sells pictures of
themselves and their daughter she
obviously was not very impressed so
after I had done that work I overcame my
fear of using myself in my work so in
these photos which are the cetera series
I look at the veil you know different
veils in Yemen how beautiful and unique
and colorful they are compared to the
black that we've imported anyway so the
fourth fear that I had was showing my
controversial work on my job in Yemen so
that day I mean edition mother daughter
doll was only one of the pieces that I
showed one of the series you know my
husband and I were worried that if I
showed the work on the hijab that it was
maybe too controversial you know what
people understand it with they digest it
especially people in society who had
extremist views would they think I was
blasphemous would they I think I was bad
or criticizing me for criticizing the
situation of women in Yemen you know
like airing your dirty laundry so again
we decided you know to put our fears
down and to show it anyways and what
come you know what may come may come and
this is one of the pieces I showed which
is eyes emotion this is true self
looking at personal identity and the
most controversial piece was what if
which you know I imagine you know what
if it was the men who had to bail not
the women and to my great surprise
many women you know many women Yemeni
women that are wearing the neck up
approached me and said to me thank you I
love this work you know it shows the men
how it feels like to wear an ePub
whereas the men hated it you know many
of them approached me and we had heated
debates and I was you know surprised and
shocked you know what how some of them
you know couldn't see the humor and the
peace so like I said you know for me you
fear if I if I allow myself like I said
if you're scared if I allow myself to
get to the other side of the fear you
know for me if I hadn't if I hadn't
shown this work you know because I
showed it locally and internationally so
many wonderful things happened to me I
mean I you know it garnered a lot of
debate and discussion and dialogue was
all over the internet because of it I
have now a gallery in Dubai I have I've
exhibited in of course in Yemen and
Dubai in France and other countries as
well and hopefully in the u.s. next year
you know the British Museum of London
the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston the
better Jean Foundation have all acquired
my work as as part of their permanent
collection I tell you this not to show
off but just to say you know ahem Ville
of course you know a lot had a lot and a
lot to do this I know when I'm blessed
hem Delilah but that if I hadn't done
all these things if I hadn't overcome my
fear if I hadn't you know challenged
myself and allowed myself to do these
things I would have missed on so much
and I do really sincerely believe that
god helps those who help themselves that
he somehow if you go this way he'll meet
you halfway and you know one of my
favorite things is leap and the net will
appear and I really believe that I
always think they're the hands of God
you know that when you just go ahead you
look at Allah and just you know you're
on it and that God somehow will will
protect you and hold you so you know I'm
in conclusion I want to say you know
have the courage to face your fears
don't let fear be an obstacle to your
dreams and if you're scared to do
something just do it just do it and
don't wait for the fear to go because it
won't get used to this
year so again do what scares you because
you never know where it may lead you
[Applause]
you