- Have you ever lost your job because of a crush at work?
- No, and I never would. He would lose his life
before I would lose my job.
- Wow. - I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding. - Amen, amen.
- I've never killed anybody.
- Hey everyone, welcome to UnExpert Advice
with Daryn Carp, I am Daryn Carp
and each episode we're gonna be tackling
those tough questions that you guys have bombarded me
with over the past few weeks.
Everything from relationship advice to work advice
we're covering it all here for you.
I know you guys have tons of questions
that you want answered
and today I brought along two very good friends of mine.
First we have Taylor Strecker.
Taylor and I have known each other for two years?
- I don't know her. - Yeah.
(all laugh)
I should never have invited you on this,
I knew this was gonna be bad.
What do you think of the advice that I give?
- I think it's fantastic. - Okay.
- But that's because you have no soul
so you don't care if you hurt people's feelings or not
you just tell them straight up what's going on.
I'll yes you to death so, that's the role I play.
- Okay so this is why we have you.
And then to Taylor's right we have the fantastic
Chris Burns, also known as fatcarriebradshaw.
- Me?
- We actually met because you guys
asked me to be a part of your podcast Everyone's Gay.
- [Chris] Yes.
- We probably met maybe a year ago and fell in love.
- Feels like forever. - Yeah.
You're kind of quiet with your personal stuff.
- Well there's not a lot of it.
(all laugh)
- Relationship advice tends to be my forte
and this girl wrote in having this crush on a guy at work.
- Don't understand.
- What do we think about crushes at work?
Are we thumbs up, thumbs down, what are we going for?
Have you guys ever had--?
(blows raspberry)
Okay.
- I'm like why not?
- I'm going double thumbs up for this one.
- Well that's not surprising.
(Daryn laughs)
- And didn't you used to work with your girlfriend?
- Oopsie daisy.
She forgot that one. - Yeah, didn't you?
Why thumbs down though?
- Well, I just don't like to (beep) where I eat.
- [Daryn] Okay, that's fair.
- I think it causes more problems than good
and most relationships end, I mean I'm a divorcee
so I know this for a fact.
I got really lucky, at a young age and got my dream job
and I never wanted to jeopardize that whatsoever
so I had crushes at work but I never wanted
to sleep with any of the guys I worked with
'cause I thought that, you know--
- 'Cause you're gay? - 'Cause they were men.
- 'Cause I thought I was a lesbian.
(Taylor laughs)
- This is a different problem.
- That was when I was straight (beep)!
- But if you're so thumbs down
how did you meet your girlfriend?
- We were on a work trip, she was my blog videographer.
- Oh my God. - I know, right?
- That just goes to, like-- wow.
- And we have to share a hotel room.
- Yeah and we were sharing a bed but when I booked the trip
I was a straight person and we were best friends.
And she was my employee and then things happened on the trip
and that's how we got together so that's really it.
- Were you worried about your job?
- No, because I was the boss, I could fire her (beep)
if things went wrong.
- Well, that's the issue. - Nice, that's sweet.
- Chris, why are you thumbs up?
- It depends on where you're working
but I will say having a crush on someone
and then if it doesn't pan out, it's not worth the misery.
- No.
- But I'm also like, whatever, you only live once.
- That's true, okay, but with that--
- Taylor's like banging her videographer in a hotel.
- Dating in 2019 with #MeToo and social media
and everything that's going around
is it even possible to have a crush at work?
Would you even tell anyone if you have a crush at work?
And should you come out with it to HR immediately
and say, "I don't want to jeopardize my job
"I want to be open and honest," but it feels...
- It depends on the work environment.
Entertainment is lackadaisical
and we're a bunch of slurts, you know?
So they expect nothing from us but if I was a lawyer
or a doctor, you know, somebody respectable
I feel like you're not allowed to (beep) around there.
- But are you still thumbs up knowing what 2019 is like?
- I'm thumbs up if both parties are adults consenting.
- But like you're so vulnerable
especially when you're the boss, you know?
I mean you never know people's intentions.
- And you have a lot to lose at a job
I mean that's the thing, especially if you're lucky enough
to get your dream job there's plenty of fish in the sea.
That being said, I'm two thumbs up still
at having a crush at work because one,
you can't help who you like, you like who you like
and you're attracted to who you're attracted to
and that's it so it's like. - Yeah but I feel like
you're attracted to everybody so like, what would you do?
- Guys, I'm being (beep) on over here.
I wanna know what you guys think.
If you guys have had crushes at work,
if they've panned out, if they haven't panned out.
We both had thumbs up so give me...
You've had experiences with this.
- The first guy that I, like,
so when I first moved to the city
I was working at this restaurant
and got a crush on someone, like wildly in love.
And we hung out a lot then this new guy started working
at the restaurant and he was very hot
so I automatically hated him.
- Yes. - Right.
- And then he came in one day
in the same outfit he wore before
and the girl that I was standing next to
was like, "Are you wearing the same outfit as yesterday?"
He was like, "Oh, yeah I slept at this kid's,"
(Taylor gasps)
and I was like standing at this table
and I broke a piece of the table off in my hand.
- Did you feel that you needed to switch restaurants?
I needed to
because I was so sad, like going in and seeing--
'cause we had discussed things, it was all bad.
And so going to work everyday was like making me so sad.
- Aw, Chris.
- Well, when I break up with somebody
they like die in my mind.
You are gone off the planet so like, that's why--
- But when you're seeing them everyday.
- Precisely, that's why I can't screw around at work
if I can't get away from it.
- So we're never dating? - Never.
- The pros of having a crush at work, fun.
- It's fun. - It's fun.
- What else are you doing? - It's exciting
to go to work and see that person.
- [Taylor] It makes work exciting.
- It does. - And you like get dressed.
- You try hard.
- Does it make it more attentive?
Do you find yourself a better worker?
- No, God. - No, very much distracted.
The opposite.
- So that's a con, right?
- Also you don't wanna get in trouble.
- Living on the edge. - The only pro is excitement.
Is that what we're saying?
The only pro is excitement and then a potential relationship
- Well, and then love. - Hopefully.
- Well, also a big pro is we spend our lives at work.
How do you meet people if you're not meeting people at work?
- Right. - Yeah.
- It makes sense to be hooking up
with people that you work with
and having relationships with them, it just does.
- Let me know if you guys think that
these are the right pros and the right cons.
Is there any more pro than just having excitement at work
or anything going on like there.
'Cause right now I think-- - It's the biggest pro.
- I think it stands alone and I think it stands
against other cons but think about
if that crush goes bad, the potential to lose your job
or if you love your job and find that you can't love it
everyday, is any crush worth that?
- Chris Evans.
(all laugh)
- Are we saying go for it, take the risk
or are we saying back off?
For me, I think you should absolutely go for it
if your job is in the right place to do it.
- Yes.
- And you don't necessarily have to see them
eight hours a day if it doesn't work out.
- Yes.
- But I think there are a lot more risks than pros.
- Yes.
- So there's a little asterisk of depends on where you work
and depends on how serious the crush is.
- I say proceed with caution and also think
do I like you better or my job?
It really comes down to that.
- Yeah, it's a question of value.
What are you valuing more?
If you value the job and it's your dream job
when you're right out of college
and you never think that you were gonna get it.
Nothing is gonna be worth that crush.
- Exactly. - I say ask them to happy hour
and see what happens. (chuckles)
- Yaaaass. - Oh my God.
I'm never inviting you guys back again.
Guys, thank you so much for watching UnExpert Advice
with Daryn Carp, make sure you like, subscribe
DM us your questions, you can DM me @carpedaryn
at any single time, I would be more than happy
to tackle those tough questions for you.
Keep on watching throughout the week
we're gonna have tons of videos
and absolutely submit your questions.
Thanks again for watching.
(upbeat music)