- Everything's weird so nothing's weird anymore (laughing).
This is the story of me discovering my biological father.
If you wanna see part one, click here.
I kinda pointed up (laughing).
(slow music)
My name is Sam, this is my mom, Lauren,
and then this is my sperm donor, genetic father, Brian.
- Hi.
(Sam and Lauren laughing)
- The whole thing was funny because
I was the one who found Brian and was doing
this whole huge search.
After it all, now my brother was the person
who is going to more events and everything
because he lived in New York.
Brian had gotten my brother and his fiancee
tickets to the U.S. Open.
Guess who else is gonna be at the U.S. Open?
My mom.
So we found out they're gonna be there on the same day
and I was like, okay, spill the beans.
Like just say everything, tell her everything,
like they're gonna meet.
- Lauren was kind of caught off guard
'cause her kids didn't tell her till the last minute
that they were attending the tournament
and that I would be there.
- So they call him that day of the U.S. Open
and say that oh turns out we have met the donor,
you know, we're actually going to the U.S. Open tonight
and he's gonna be there.
I knew I was gonna get in trouble for the text
that I responded no to.
In the same day, my mom found out
who the donor was and that she was actually
going to be meeting him.
- At first I was angry just because they surprised me.
I was overwhelmed.
You're always concerned when new people
enter your kid's lives because holidays are split
already three ways and now are they gonna need
to be split four ways 'cause now there's a third parent.
In that moment, you start to overthink it.
I am always feeling a little threatened.
If this DNA dad, donor dad, you know,
he's really cool and he lives in New York
and my son lives in New York and they can go
and do things that are really fun and it's different
and it just was probably the least desirable environment
that one could be in to ingest news like that.
- We met up at the U.S. Open
at one of the breaks in the sets.
- I couldn't stop staring at him because
I saw physical characteristics of my kids
from the second I looked at him.
- So she told me that when she saw Brian
she saw those are Sam's eyes, kind of female version nose,
mouth and she has your hands.
Since then, yes, I have looked at my hands
and I have a pinky that sticks out.
- But then what was great is that
I was able to get together at another brunch.
- That was really nice to get to meet her
and really got to know each other
'cause it was just the two of us
and so we had a talk for hours.
- So very quickly I became very comfortable with him.
I feel like we have a connection, a bond.
We've become friends which I think is great.
I mean, we're both single and we both date
and it's really cool to have another, you know, guy friend.
- After this brunch, Brian was super excited.
He said that they were BFFs.
- The day after the U.S. Open I told my close girl friend.
She said, oh my God, that's great, more to love.
And I looked at her like she was crazy
and said, because I was still threatened.
Then, a few days later I said, you're right
that's a good way to look at it, more to love.
- The whole thing was just cool, bizarre,
I don't know what you wanna call it,
that our two genetic sources are now friends (laughing).
I guess we're still navigating like
what to call each other and everything.
We're navigating social media even.
- What does Brian wanna be called?
- I mean, we just call Brian, Brian.
- I just prefer to be called Brian.
- And then like if I talk to friends,
I don't know, donor, usually donor,
biological father.
I reserve dad for my dad.
- I mean, for 25 years this was a secret.
We just didn't tell anyone.
The kids didn't even know.
And now I'm very open to say oh my kid's donor, you know.
- Actually I just call him CB 186 (laughing).
- That first moment that I met you at the U.S. Open,
immediately you started talking to me about stem cell
and I was trying to keep up with you.
- One of the big questions is does that DNA
from somebody else incorporate into your geno?
So no one's really quite been able to answer that question.
It's been eight years since I did my first
stem cell treatment.
There's probably not a sample of my sperm
still left in the freezer.
Okay, well there's none for sale anyway.
I called over there to see if they had one dose left
and they don't.
I would like to see if the HLA expression for me has changed
before and after the stem cell treatment.
So that would give you some indication
of whether the DNA from the stem cells incorporates
into your own DNA or not.
- So is there anyway you can find out
if your DNA has changed based on comparing it to mine?
- No, not really because you have DNA
from two separate people so it could just be
from Lauren's contribution to your DNA code.
- [Sam] What if they compared the Y chromosome?
- Okay, so if you only compared the Y chromosome.
- From male.
- Yeah, so I suppose they might be able to do that.
Yeah, that's an interesting idea.
- She's so smart.
I wonder where she gets it all from, which one?
One of the reasons why we chose Brian
were for just some of the things
that we could pick up on the application
that are similar to her father.
We were trying to find someone who had some commonality.
- Now after meeting Brian, I can kind of piece together
my nature versus nurture a little bit more
and see actually how much nurture
I've gotten from my dad to make me, me
and then maybe just some nature aspects
that have come from Brian and then obviously my mom too.
And I think I'm just this combo of all three sources.
- In my opinion, best to always tell the truth
and to be open.
I would just suggest that anyone who finds themselves
in a similar situation just try to embrace the positive,
don't be so threatened by it.
I think this has just been a great way
to expand our family.
- For any other kid or young adult going through this,
I would tell them, you know,
no one's replacing your parents,
no one's replacing anyone.
That it's just how you happen to be here
and you wouldn't exist otherwise,
like you literally wouldn't be here.
You wouldn't be the person you are
without all of this.
You know, it makes you unique.
In this day and age, we're gonna find out anyway,
so you might as well be up front and tell us.
- You know, there are a lot of surprises in life,
this is a good one.
- So do you have any advice for other sperm donors
who are in the same situation.
- I would just recommend that if they're comfortable,
that they should release their information 'cause,
I mean, obviously I think it's been
a really positive experience for me.
I told the sperm back that they could
release my information, but they said I was the first person
that had ever contacted them about that.
So I said well maybe it'll change now that more people
are doing this online DNA analysis.
I sent in my AncestryDNA and my 23andMe
and then there's kids out there
that I don't really know about.
So maybe at some point they'll match up on this
AncestryDNA or 23andMe.
- I think that every kid has a right to know
where they come from.
- I think there are plenty of half siblings out there
who don't realize they're half siblings.
- If parents don't tell their kids and their kids
get DNA tests, they can find out by matching
with other half siblings.
So then, AncestryDNA emailed me
that there were updates.
I go to check out DNA relatives.
There's a new one that says close family
to first cousin range.
He's the same age as my brother.
I kinda put two and two together,
I'm like okay this could be the first half sibling match
and I said what (laughing).
(upbeat music)