Welcome to Psych IRL.
My name is Donna.
I got a question from twitter from Nikita because Nikita always asks me questions.
So, I just had this conversation with my mom and I thought it might be a topic you could
discuss on your channel: what is the point of romantic relationships?
Like, is there really a need for it?
Can the need to feel accepted and loved (don't remember what it's called on Maslow's hierarchy)
be fulfilled with say a close friendship or a pet?
Do we really need romantic bonds or are people just in search of true love because they're
told that they should be looking for a significant other?
or am I just really really cold and bitter in not seeing the point of romance and destined
to become a crazy cat lady?
The short answer to your question is...I've been really trying.
A majority of cases is for reproductive reasons and obviously you can't do that with pets.
This leads to a great transition to Maslow's hierarchy of needs and that's something we
need to talk about.
So, why do we do the things we do?
Why do I keep making youtube videos despite the fact that it doesn't really pay me?
why do you pick the job that you want?
why do you watch the tv shows that you watch?
why do you listen to the type of music that you listen to?
why do you go to school?
Maslow's hierarchy of needs says that all human behavior can be explained by motivation
Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a motivational theory that explains why humans do the things
they do.
Okay so I don't have food right now but I had these bag of Halloween Pretzels that I
opened upside down.
Let's pretend that this is full.
Food.
I'm not going to eat this bag of Halloween pretzels.
Now all of a sudden, my stomach starts hurting, I'm getting low on energy, and I'm feeling
week.
Now because of that pain and low energy, I'm going to be motivated to eat the bag of pretzels.
So the hunger and pain explains the behavior of why I ate those pretzels.
So in the 1950s Abraham Maslow developed this theory called the hierarchy of needs and it
can be shaped like a pyramid.
he says that it is very important for human development.
This pyramid also has steps.
so the human has to climb these steps but you just can't jump around in this pyramid
you have to go step by step.
you cannot go all the way to the top without completing the previous step.
These steps are physiological needs, safety needs, social needs, social needs, esteem
needs, self-actualization needs, and transcendence.
Those can be broken down into basic needs, psychological needs, and self fulfillment
needs.
Let's just wipe the slate clean.
Let's imagine a person.
Now this person's one job is to stay alive.
so the first step on that pyramid is physiological needs.
This is anything for survival.
This person needs to survive at all costs.
so, that includes having enough oxygen.
you just can't jump in water and stay there forever.
sleep, food.
anything that is vital for survival.
Once that step is fulfilled that person can go to the next step.
the next step is safety needs.
that's your need for safety and security.
so, in the wilderness say.
this can include shelter.
you need to not always be anxious about predators attacking you.
in the modern world, we aren't too concerned about predators so this can include job security.
How can I be sure that I can get enough money to buy food for survival?
That's why sometimes we take the job that we don't want just so we can feel secure.
Once that step is fulfilled the human can go to the next step which is social needs.
Social needs include acceptance, intimacy, friendship, relationships, giving and receiving
love.
now what helps us survive better?
we survive better if we are in a group.
Better defense of predators, ways to get food, more offspring.
this is obviously subjective for each person.
some people may need more friends than others.
some people may need to feel more accepted than others.
With you Nikitia I remember you saying that you don't want kids.
So, maybe an animal companion may suffice while for other people they want kids and
they want that offspring so a romantic relationship is what they need.
Once that step is fulfilled this moved to the next step which is esteem needs.
This is a firmly stable and high evaluation of yourself or high self esteem.
It is also kind of a high evaluation in the eyes of others.
this is also subjective so if you think that you have a good job, good education, lots
of money and you see yourself as that then you have high self esteem and if you think
that others see yourself as that, then you have good high self reputation.
After that step is fulfilled, we move to the next step which is self actualization and
Maslow describes this as finding what you're best fitted for.
Even though you may have a good job, you may have a lot of money, people like you, you
may feel this urging sense that you're not doing what you're meant to be doing.
Maslow again describes this as an artist needing to paint.
so if an artist is doing a doctors job he's not going to feel self fulfilled.
this artist needs to pain.
another name for this is first world problems.
just kidding.
so the next step is transcendence.
this was later added by maslow in the 70s.
its kind of this going beyond yourself state.
being very altruistic, very spiritual.
its more of being charitable and helping the community.
So, is this really why we do things?
Does this explain every aspect of our behavior.
scientifically, these things can't be empirically measured so its very hard to tell.
there's no way to measure if each individual has gone through these steps.
Maslow himself tried to find people who were self fulfilled through biographies like Thomas
Jefferson, but a problem with that is that he has researcher bias.
Another researcher might read his biography and say no Thomas Jefferson was not self fulfilled.
that is another criticism of the study.
Other studies have seen this hierarchy in other cultures but maybe in a different order.
furthermore, other studies have shown that it is very much pluralistic.
I can be hungry and find my passion.
I don't necessarily have to go through these steps one by one.
so that's the end of this video.
I hope you liked it.
give this video a thumbs up.
I will see you guys next time stay psyched.