- That kind of felt like what I imagine
being stung by a sumo wasp in your mouth would be like.
(laugh/crying) It's horrible!
(quirky music)
I'm really nervous, why am I nervous?
My name's Becky,
and I'm here to talk about my journey with lip fillers.
I'm not trying to paint this out to be some horror story,
but it is something that you don't have to go through,
and I hope that me talking about this helps
other people who might be feeling like, inadequate.
So recently, Kylie Jenner was reported
to have had her lip fillers dissolved,
which is interesting,
because she was basically the spearhead
of that whole trend,
and it became such a thing to have like a full pout.
People started going to cosmetic surgeons
and actually asking for the filler
that a lot of these celebrities admitted to having.
We've always felt pressure to look a certain way,
but these days with like, Instagram,
it's constantly in your face
that there's someone more beautiful than you,
and there's a way to achieve it.
We all film each other and ourselves
a lot more than we used to,
so you're seeing yourself in so many different angles
you didn't even know existed.
If you're insecure,
it's easy to see flaws that you didn't know were there.
My job is making funny, relatable videos for the internet.
When you're trying to make people laugh,
you, as a woman especially,
will still get comments based on your looks.
It's really, really hard
to not take those comments to heart,
and we all do it,
everyone that is on social media
is putting themselves in a position
where you're open to bullying,
and it just wears you down.
You don't know what it is you wanna fix,
but you want some kinda armor
that's gonna protect you from this negativity,
and for me, I just felt like the quickest thing
to make me feel more glamorous
and more like I fit in on the YouTube space
was to just have slightly fuller lips,
and maybe that would be a good start
to making my confidence go up.
I told the nurse what I wanted
was just like a slightly fuller lower lip,
'cause like, I have an underbite,
so my upper lip would project
if I had too much put in there.
So this woman told me the opposite.
She had this weird method
where she held like, a cotton swab,
and like, injected here and here.
I was getting nervous 'cause I was like,
I told her not to mess with my top lip,
but she is the expert.
And then when I looked, I was just like,
I really hope this goes down.
I didn't like it, it's not what I wanted,
I just started to get so many
negative comments on YouTube videos.
"I'm so distracted by her lips."
"Her lips are botched."
It was just the most horrible embarrassing feeling.
Like, I felt so exposed,
'cause I'd done this to myself
and I was getting more attacked than I had before,
so I just felt like a complete idiot.
I was annoyed that I hadn't spoken up
during the appointment,
but you don't feel like you can.
It's like when you get a bad haircut
and they show you the back,
you're like, yeah, it's great, love it,
and it's a disaster.
So with lip filler,
there is a way to reverse it, luckily.
I decided to make an appointment
with a doctor that we used a lot at BuzzFeed.
He's great, I trust him 100%.
I haven't had too many big injuries,
but it was the most painful thing of my life.
- How are you?
- Hi!
- So today we want to talk about sculpting the lips.
- Yes, definitely.
- Now when did you have your lips done?
- Three months ago.
- You've got beautiful eyes.
I want people to look at your eyes
and look at your face,
not look at the lips and go whoa!
- That's exactly how I feel, like,
in photos, all I see is my stupid mouth,
and I'm like, go away, mouth.
Now he immediately knew where to take it out
and agreed with me how bad they were.
(laughing) So that's nice to hear.
- Juvederm, Restylane,
all these fillers are hyaluronic acids,
but they have an enzyme called hyaluronidase
which dissolves them,
and we use the hyaluronidase
in specific points on the lips.
So we're gonna bring it down,
it's gonna be a little swollen.
- (laughs) Oh good!
- This is an ice pack. - Ooh!
- You feel the cold?
- Yeah, I do.
He got the needle out,
and then the nurse began to tap my shoulder.
And I realized it was a distraction technique,
and I started to feel a little like
I was about to get an arm amputated
without any kind of anesthetic.
- Okay, this is gonna hurt a little bit.
- The pain of the needle was okay,
and then the acid came.
(bleep) Sorry, can you swear?
Oh (bleep), (laugh/crying) it's horrible!
I've never felt anything like that.
- Grab your ball.
Ow, (bleep).
It kind of felt like a scorpion to the mouth.
- [Doctor] You okay?
- That was just very surprising.
One prick and I was like,
I think I could live with half a lip,
I'll just be Lopsided Lip Larry.
- [Doctor] Ice.
- (sniffling) I hate this!
- Okay?
- No.
And then he tells me,
(laughing) this is actually the most painful thing
you can get done in this office.
- I forgot to tell you that it hurts when we reduce it.
- I mean, it's acid.
What do I expect?
- I'm sorry.
- Argh!
(laughing) I don't know what's wrong with me!
- [Doctor] Okay.
- I can't stop laughing!
I'm sorry, I'm hysterical.
(laughing)
It was horrendous.
But they did a very good job,
the nurse was very sweet, everyone was great.
- We are done sticking you.
- Oh thank God.
Yeah, I just look more like a pout
than like, a sausage party.
Thank you so much.
I feel more like my normal self.
Yay!
He's cool!
I need a nap.
I hadn't realized how unnatural they'd felt
and how much they affected my speech.
It seems so silly 'cause it's such a small thing,
but when you live in your own body for so many years
and it suddenly changes, it's very alarming.
And then it changed back,
and I was, um, pleasantly alarmed.
One very big piece of advice
for anyone thinking about getting lip fillers
would be to find someone that does half syringes.
You do not need a whole syringe of Juvederm
or whatever else in your lips,
and the pressure is, if you buy one,
you don't wanna waste your money.
Like, you have this whole syringe,
so where's it gonna go?
(upbeat, bouncy music)
I'm not ruling out never getting anything done again.
If I do, I would rather come at it
from a better perspective,
not to portray something I think
everyone else wants to see.
I've learned that I should probably
be more comfortable in my own skin,
I'm gonna work on that.
It's hard when you put yourself out there,
but that's my responsibility,
it's my choice to have this job.
I hope you've learned something from this
if you were thinking about doing it.
If not, hopefully it was an enjoyable video
to see me suffer.
I think, for now, I'm gonna leave my lips alone.
Probably just stick to lipstick.
(cheerful music)