Is Life About the Journey or the Destination?
To some degree all people are process oriented
and also outcome oriented.
Another way of saying this is that all people are journey oriented
and destination oriented.
The question is to what degree.
Some people derive much more pleasure and energy out of achievement
and some derive much more pleasure and energy out of process.
There's an idea that is floating around the self-help community
and also the spiritual community,
that there's "a good way to be".
In other words,
it's better to be journey oriented than destination oriented,
it's much better to be about the process,
than it is the end goal.
Now, this idea is not actually accurate.
Because what we're looking at is two polarities,
both of which have incredible value
for the well-being of a physical human.
Both offer a different energy for your life
and therefore neither is superior nor inferior to the other.
All that being said,
it's incredibly important to make a distinction
about what you love for the process element of it,
and what you love for the outcome element of it.
What you love for the journey and what you love for the destination,
so that you can, based off of knowing that,
make the correct decisions for you specifically in your life.
For the sake of your understanding of this concept only,
let's imagine that there are three distinct camps.
Camp 1 is things that you love doing for the outcome.
These are things for which if the outcome ceased to exist
you would not derive enough pleasure out of the doing of it to continue.
So these are things where the outcome,
end goal, destination or achievement
makes the process itself pleasurable.
Camp 2 is things that you love doing for the doing of them.
These are things for which even if there was no outcome,
end goal, destination or achievement,
or even if the outcome, goal, achievement or destination that does exist
never came about, you would still do it.
Because the process or the doing of it
is what you love.
Camp 3 is things you do solely for an outcome.
These are things for which the outcome,
end goal, destination or achievement
does not ever make the process pleasurable,
it is literally only a: "So that _____".
I want you to look at the things that you do in your life
and divide these things up into each one of these camps.
You can make an organized list if that helps you best,
but I want you to keep in mind that all people's lists
are going to look different.
Remember that there's no right or wrong answer here.
There's no wrong camp or right camp
to sort things in your life into.
I'll give you an example of what I mean:
One person might sort cooking into camp one,
because they like cooking,
but when they think about the cooking that they do
not resulting in a positive outcome,
or some end finished product that's great,
suddenly, that process of putting things over the fire
or selecting ingredients
or, you know, cutting things up is not pleasurable to them.
One person may put cooking into camp 2,
because even if they never got to see a result
or even if they didn't end up with a good finished product,
they love the process of cooking.
One person may put cooking into camp 3.
Why?
Because they dislike cooking entirely.
And even if they produce an end product
it doesn't do much for them.
In fact, cooking is really a:
"So that I have security in my relationship",
or, "So that I can be seen as a good woman",
or, "So that I don't feel bad about myself",
Another example, is that somebody may put exercise into camp 1
because exercise is something that makes their body look good,
but when they imagine exercise not producing any results
in terms of a positive physical appearance,
suddenly, the process is like,
you know, not enough to keep them doing it.
One person may put exercise into camp 2
because they love the in the moment experience of exercise
and would do it because they love doing it,
no matter the result.
One person may put exercise in camp 3
because they hate exercising
and don't even get anything out of the results,
but they may do it to maintain closeness with a friend or lover of theirs
who loves exercise and who they want approval from.
If you want to learn more about the danger of filling up your life
with things to do that fit into this camp number 3,
I want you to watch a video that I created
that is titled:
If You Want to Be Happy, Don't Do This
Keep in mind that as you're doing this list
it's a good idea to break the different sectors of your life
into individual tasks within that sector.
What I mean by that is this:
Let's say that your entire job may fit into camp 3,
it's a "so that".
But, there may be one element of your job
like, balancing spreadsheets,
that might in fact fit into camp number 2
because you love doing it so much.
Making the right conscious choices for you,
as well as sorting through the reasons why
you might be experiencing diminished well-being in your life,
is greatly helped by this exercise
and coming into conscious awareness of these camps in your life
and where the things you do fit into them.
For example,
imagine that writing fits into camp 1 for you.
So, writing is something you only really like doing,
if the end result is something like a book
that other people love and tell you is awesome.
So, let's imagine that you're experiencing diminished well-being
and all of a sudden you've lost all of your motivation to write.
Well, if recently you wrote a book
and it wasn't well received,
and writing itself fits into camp 1,
it's a little bit easier to see why you've lost the motivation to write
and also lost, to some degree,
a sense of well-being in your life.
Or, for example,
imagine that you discovered that talking fits into camp 2 for you.
You may now see that talking
is something that gives you energy when you do it,
so whenever you feel depleted, you can find someone to talk to.
Or, for example, let's say that you find out that shopping
fits into category number 3 for you.
It's way easier, once you're aware of that,
to come up with different ways to meet whatever need
that shopping is meeting in a more direct way
and a less roundabout way.
Maybe in a completely different way.
There are potential pitfalls inherent in any one of these categories,
rather than just hand you that information,
I actually want you to think about it today.
That being said, it's important to know
that when it comes to creating a life that feels good
and when it comes to making the right conscious choices
for yourself in a given situation,
it's important to know what camp the things in your life fit into.
Let yourself be both process oriented and outcome oriented.
Let yourself be both journey oriented and destination oriented,
because after all, you already are.
Just be conscious about it.
Have a good week.
If you liked this video,
be sure to share it, like it and also subscribe to my channel
so you can see more content like this.
But I want to personally thank you for taking the initiative
and having the bravery to step into the space of awareness
not only for yourself, but for the benefit of those around you.
Subtitles by: Tanya Duarte