(bright horn music)
- Oh she on the lot.
- Studio live, set live.
- Congrats, bitch.
But at least it's a job in a scripted show.
- Didn't I just say that? - Which pretty lucky.
- Didn't I just say that?
- I mean, and it's about a black woman
with a messed up sad life.
You know all about that.
- Then they gon' call up Ida B being like,
"Heyo Ida!"
- The character names are funny.
Ida B and Hattie.
Like who was in this writer's room?
Cicely Tyson?
- You need to be in the writer's room dropping jams.
- But it's not gonna happen.
- Marie is a hater.
- Her again?
- She's so irritating.
People who criticize you the most has the most going on.
She's completely unhappy.
- You can tell she ain't havin' no sex.
She wound up all the way up.
- You should take some sage with you.
- I'm not wasting my good sage on them.
(both laugh)
- No but this is really lucky though.
People don't just come out here and automatically get this.
- It's a fantasy. - So like.
- And don't fall under her spell.
- She's a show runner, not Prince.
(laughs)
(both laughs)
- 'Cause you can't look at Prince's eyes.
- Definitely can't.
- Ida develops really close
relationships with people, particularly women.
- See I know big lesbian energy when I see it.
- But I don't think she was saying that in a romantical way,
she was saying it in like a cutthroat way like she befriends
you and you think that y'all Gucci.
- I don't know.
- And then she--
- I don't know, I think things can get
very complicated very quickly.
- Wanna do some breathing exercises before you go?
(giggles)
- She's special.
- I'm so proud of her.
- She don't where she go.
- She's going the wrong way.
(all laugh)
- I really like this opening.
- Uh huh.
- Be excited, take yo' picture.
- I wish I was able to have a photo shoot
when it comes to ID photos. - That's what I'm saying.
All the security guards I knew were mean.
- That was me when I first got my first real job.
I was like hold up, hold up.
How my hair look?
- Ooo, sexy.
(upbeat piano music)
- Headphones on the first day.
- You gotta have your own music video.
- I like that outfit.
- She doing too much, I betcha she late too.
- (giggles) She's about to be late.
(gentle piano music)
- This girl is good.
- Yes!
- Yes, get yo' Frank Sinatra on.
- She definitely getting wrote up on the first day.
- She ain't got no coffees, she ain't go no paperwork.
Look at her.
- And this is like so casual, you can literally do this
and no one would even care,
no one would question anyone doing this.
- [Man] Don't touch that, that's a prop.
- Not sir (laughs).
- Somebody always gotta pop yo' bubble when you happy.
- I know.
- Oh my god, I remember this.
(both laugh)
- Or he, or maybe that's a they, unclear.
- Oh my gosh.
- She is feeling her job.
- Yo!
- I stand for her, you know,
let's recognize the non-binary folks,
some people go by they, them, their.
- I really love when white people just describe things,
it's like my favorite thing.
- I didn't like that instance,
it felt very zoo animal.
- Hey sis.
- You go girl!
- That's Courtney.
Remember me?
- Oh no.
- Oh god, she works there.
- Random white girlfriend?
- Shut up.
- Not being this building.
(both laugh)
- She the random white girl.
That's the white girl from the party.
- That, ah.
- I thought she was blonde.
- I thought she was blonde too.
- Oh my gosh, that's hilarious.
- She got the job.
- Oh, she got the job.
- Yeah, remember she said she'd give it
to a white stripper girl (laughs)?
- Which means get on it.
What are you sitting down talking for?
- Oh no.
- [Woman] You want me to take that for you?
- No.
- Nah, I like a selfie.
- She just told you--
- Good morning, ladies.
- Good morning. - Good morning.
- Hattie, what are you doing?
- Uh, I'm gonna do a coffee run, what can I get you?
- A vanilla latte with almond milk.
I don't do dairy, I'm lactose intolerant.
- Well truth is, we're all lactose intolerant.
Dairy is the devil's food.
- Right on.
- She's fast though, that's back.
- (laughs) Me all day. - Same.
- I'd be like girl.
- You know I be over it.
- [Woman] The writers are here.
- The writers are here and you do not have their coffee,
nor have you gone out to go get it after the girl
just told you when the writers get here they're
gonna want their coffee.
You sat down and chose to take selfies.
- She's honestly the worst.
Maybe there's gonna be a huge character arc.
- That's why I'm like.
- So, you want a caramel macchiato
with a little bit of foam, no foam on top?
Want a little bit of drizzle on top?
- (snorts) That drizzle!
- She got everybody?
- 'Cause I woulda asked if there's a comprehensive list
of what they want.
- Don't mess up them orders.
- She's sitting down again.
(phone ringing)
- How do you have everyone's coffee order already?
- They order the same thing every day.
- Did I not just?
- You literally just said that!
She's super fake too as a cowork,
she didn't say nothing.
- True, where's the sisterhood and you go girl?
- And you go girl.
Fail, you go girl, fail.
- Maybe the coworker wasn't being fake,
maybe she was waiting for her to take initiative and ask?
She sat down and took selfies,
I woulda been side-eyeing her too.
- Yeah, I would have as well, but still I would have helped.
- Yeah.
Pay it forward.
(phone ringing)
- Hi, Ma!
- Mother's beauty.
- How much this time?
- [Woman] Oh, Crest with a capital C.
- I hope you're not so wham bam thank you maam
with that scrumptious Chuck.
- Scrumptious Chuck.
- Mrs. Owens, I'm here too.
- Oh, hello Nile.
- Is that downtown Julie Brown?
- Nah.
- Oh.
- [Mrs. Owens] Volume.
- Oi, my winnings paid for that unforgettable day at
Disneyland when you were 12, young miss.
(chuckles)
- Ooo.
- So Mom has a gambling problem.
- Oh, she an addict.
- So that's why she's the way she is.
- Mom calling your for $5,000 for the blackjack table.
Excuse me?
(bright horn music)
- No, no, no.
- Just give him the paper.
- Lil' swirl.
- Ay, that's how I order at Starbucks,
I don't know nothing I be like.
You know the--
- You know the little thing that you do?
- No!
- Ah.
- You must work at the studio?
- Yeah, not for long if these coffees get cold.
Thanks.
- Mhmm.
I'm a Dino.
- Cool.
- Oh, she got bougie already.
Cool.
You better respect the people that's at the coffee shop.
- I know.
- Uh uh, she gon' mess up somebody order.
- Not somebody, the boss.
- The boss.
- Dammit.
It was loud as hell in there.
And I had a gang of orders.
- So what?
- Wasn't nobody talking to you.
- She bust on her.
- I always get the same exact thing as Ida.
I figure if I wanna be just like her,
I should order like her too.
- That's weird, but okay.
- That's so.
- You can give her mine.
- Oh, she a hater for real for real.
- I'll drink the devil's latte, I have the genetics for it.
- Ha!
- Oh!
- Girl, what are--
- White people the can digest some milk.
- I commend you for wanting to find black authors but the
truth is most of them aren't that great.
- That shirt is horrible.
- You don't like it?
- Black person?
- Do you know there's a movie called
Who Made the Potato Salad?
- I'm aware.
- I saw that movie too.
- Also, Zach just assigned me--
- Also, she works in the industry,
I'm surprised that she hasn't put her friend on it.
- That's how she got Ida the job.
- Oh, well yeah I guess but, before that.
- I mean not Ida, got Hattie the job with Ida.
- Manages?
- Yeah you get to act like you're the authority
on all things black.
- Not with that shirt.
- You know what would surprise me?
- What?
- If you put your D in a black--
(giggles)
- Hey, so how's the Rosa Parks movie coming?
I heard Tiffany Hattis passed?
- Yeah.
(both laugh)
- They don't even go in the same sentence.
- Misty Copeland's reps and apparently they want
to do the Raven Wilkinson story.
She was the first black ballerina with a major company.
- Ooo.
- I'm over the whole first black thing.
- Oh, you are--
- You what?
- Oh he's not cute anymore.
- Okay, wait a second.
- Can we beat him up now?
- I hate micro-aggressions in the workplace.
- Cardi B might be interested.
- Are you serious?
- I'm friends with her Pilates teacher.
- Oh god.
- Oh my god, this is the most LA scene I've ever what.
- That hurt.
- That was mmm.
- I feel bad-- - Gross.
- I feel bad for home girl. - Gross.
- Can we beat him up at the end of the series?
I want her job.
- Is this what yoga is?
Why haven't I done it yet?
- I ain't never did that in yoga.
- This is not yoga.
- Oh.
- First of all, men like that don't come to yoga
class that I go to.
- I mean I just want to rub on a man's body,
look at him.
- Maybe tantric yoga.
- Inappropriate.
- He look like Eric Benet.
- Have a beautiful day.
Namaste.
- Nah, I'mma stay there.
- Namaste.
- She is so LA.
- He said, nah I'mma stay.
He ain't move.
(both laugh)
- Who is this man?
Oh, Big Sean.
- It's Big Sean.
It's Big Sean.
- 2088.
- He looks so much taller laying down.
- (sighs) It's hot, you hot?
- Okay, the introduction of Big Sean.
- I'm signing up for yoga,
I'm bout to meet me a little chocolate thang,
you know what I mean?
- Well let me get your number so I can text you
when I get there.
- Oh, I don't have a phone.
- Hmm?
- Ooo, mmm. - Oh no.
(all giggle)
- Fake ass Big Sean.
- If it ain't one thing it's another.
- Are you serious?
- I hope you don't think that's weird.
- It is weird.
- Right?
- They on the same frequency, that's dope.
- I'mma be the only black dude there wearing moccasins.
- Huh.
- He's wearing moccasins?
He got no job.
- He definitely has a job. - He ain't got no job.
Ain't no man with a job wearing moccasins.
- He grows his own vegetables.
- How's your first day going?
- Pretty good.
- You might be right, that felt very.
- Hmm.
I know when I see it.
- Don't look her in the eye.
- What would make it better?
- If I could be closer--
- She laid back.
- She like her.
- She's covering one eye, that's sultry.
- Seriously, I'm good.
I am blessed and highly favored.
(all laugh)
- That's her momma speaking through her.
- Don't do that.
(all laugh)
- Did she freaking curtsy?
- She has big Phylicia Rashad in her G2,
doesn't she a little bit?
- Where the hell's the art department?
- You want a map?
(laughs)
- There's always a hater.
- We've all had to do that to a coworker.
- She ain't got no house but she got some fresh
ass J's and kicks.
- Oh, she got all the ones.
- All the ones is fresh.
- She really got a map though.
- Oh, that's not fair.
You coulda told her where it was.
You gon' give somebody a studio map.
Do you know how confusing those things are?
(upbeat hip hop music)
(text ding)
- Mmm mmm.
- Oh
- Oh, Lord.
- Uh, oh this is very Miranda and Emily.
- I'm already on it.
- Oops.
(laughs)
- Oh, I need one of those.
- I need advice, I'm about to go on a date.
- Just go on the date and then ghost his ass.
- You can't ghost somebody that ain't got no phone.
- Right (laughs).
(both laugh)
- Why is she on the phone at work, like?
- Her first day.
- I was uh--
- Digging your own grave one personal phone call?
- All right.
- Oop, oop, oop, oop.
Phylicia's not playing.
- Why else is she keeping her around if she doesn't like,
'cause I woulda been fired to her.
- That was just dumb.
You coulda least went to the bathroom.
- She is the epitome of 24.
- What do you do?
- I'd rather not say.
I don't like labels.
- Oh, bye.
- That's fine, Big Sean, I don't either honey.
- Well I like labels because dealing with men,
you need a clear definition of what exactly is going on.
- You speak for yourself,
'cause Big Sean tell me he don't like labels, that's fine.
- I have a email.
- So I gotta email you to see you?
- Look up at the stars.
- Actually there's a app for that.
- She kinda gives me Normani Thies.
Like do you see it?
She's very beautiful.
- I get Dawn Richard, shout out to New Orleans.
- It's not just an omen.
It's a feeling.
- He got game.
- Uh huh.
- Don't fall for it girl, don't fall.
- See, phones kill the moment.
- He giving her the night of her life.
- I'd be waiting for the other shoe to drop.
- You mean the other moccasin?
- Yes. - Okay.
- I'm 'bout to get me a sweater and some Birkenstocks.
- This one's $25 less.
- Negro, please, it's $25 dollars.
- Yes, it's $25 dollars today.
But that's $1,000 20 years from now.
(laughs)
- Oh, absolutely not.
- You have a trust fund, I don't even want it anymore.
- Now I see why she's not turned on by him.
- That is such an annoying conversation to have
at a store.
- She miserable.
- I've been thinking and an even number kids feels boring.
Three means we had two, went through some shit,
decided we still loved each other and--
- Oh my god, I hate him.
- I'm the third child.
I'm the makeup baby, my momma was gon' leave.
- Why haven't you picked up any of my calls,
I've been trying you all day?
- Mom needs to go to rehab.
- Shirley you have a gambling problem.
I know the associate producer of Iyanla: Fix My Life.
Don't make me--
(all laugh)
- Mom, I will get you half of the money, but you have to--
- You gon' give her $2,500 to go gamble?
- Would you allow your partner to talk
to your momma that way?
- Absolutely not, get outta here.
- For me, that woulda been it for it like as well.
- Yeah, you're not talking to my momma like that.
- They gon' break up.
- They shoulda been broke up.
But I see why her personality is the way it is.
- Uh uh, you can't be like oh that's yo' momma fault
that's why I'm the way I am.
- Nah, but I'm saying she typically wants to fix things
but she can't fix her mom so she fixes everybody else.
Says a lot.
- You smart.
- I know.
- Sometimes.
- The Birkenstocks is coming.
(suspenseful music)
- She's in her office?
- Yes, she wants to get fired.
- Oh, Lord.
- The hater.
- Why would you want an award from an organization
that voted Me and You, Your Momma and Your Cousin
Too best movie of the year?
- I like that movie.
- Me and you, your momma and your--
(laughs)
Wait, what was the title?
- Me and you, your momma, your auntie and your best
friends cousin too.
- May I?
- Yes you may.
- Now they go together.
- Nah, they just creating a moment.
No title.
(laughs)
- Good night.
- You can't even text him afterward.
- If you had a phone, I would text you all the freaking
things I might do to you the next time I see you.
- Period.
We're on the same page, ma'am.
- There are plenty of freaky things I can do to you.
- Oh, ker!
- Still on that page.
- Don't text about it, be about it.
- Oh!
- Well let me take this mic back off and--
- She gon' sell a bit all right.
- Wow.
- That's right girl.
Take it in, take it in.
(romantic music)
She got a palate on the floor?
Or is that the mattress from outside?
- That's one of them fold out couches you pick it like that.
(text dings)
- Uh oh, bet you it's the boss.
- Now why isn't she laying down and going to sleep?
- Nah, that's her other boo.
- Energy.
That's the type of energy I need.
- You a sucka.
- Hey, she just caught in love.
- That ain't love.
- Her car don't work.
- Right.
(text dings)
- Girls like being--
- Girls like what?
- Not, the for you to ignore 'em sometimes.
- Don't ignore me, I don't like that.
- I like this, hey, it's getting better too.
- Hey, Big Sean!
- Was in it, getting yoga class.
- He ain't got no phone.
That's just dumb.
- That's the trend.
- I liked that episode, that was a good second episode.
- That was good.
- I am ready for some climaxing in any form of any way
but Big Sean was a very good guest.
- And the mystery of him, is ew.
- Is he sleeping in his car is what I want to know?
- Or on the sidewalk?
- I like Big Sean as a actor.
Big Sean as a actor, you doing something.
- I know I like it too.
I like this, hey.
- He had bars inside of his acting too,
you see that?
- Yeah.
Just meet me at the north star under the lighting.
I think he dropping--
- Don't talk about it,
be about it. - Be about it.
- I like it, I'm getting into it.
- Yeah, me too.
- I'm getting into it.
- I just love the main character,
I think she's really funny.
She's perfect for this role,
like everything she's saying I'm like I believe you.
- That's gonna be her other boo, watch.
She gon' have a new boo.
- Who?
- She gon' have the chick from the coffee shop.
- Nah, she not gon' mess with her.
- Yes she is 'cause remember the chick was like,
ah ha, ah ha, I'm a dino.
- They might go get tattoos together or something
but they not gon' date.
They definitely not gon' date.
- They gon' get tattoos together.
They gon' go get matching fades.
- Yeah.
- Next episode, love this show.