Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier!
and welcome back to Google Feud.
Now, it's been a few years since I played this last so I can only assume
that I'm too old and senile to actually get
whatever the hip-happenin' kids are lookin' for on the internet these days.
Or I can approach it with my normal egomania and just assume that I'm right all the time
and everyone else is an idiot.
So I'm gonna go with that route and not go with the old senile route
and I'm just going to plow forward as fast as I can.
Let's start with culture.
I think my mom is an alien... an alien. (Mine too mark:) )
I think my mom is from Mars.
I think my mom is a man.
Oh, shit... sorry mom.
Joshua Peck?
Joshua Jones.
Joshua...
Jo... Joshua put his penis in the salsa again. [laughing]
DAMMIT JOSHUA!
STOP PUTTING YOUR DICK IN THE SALSA!
Uh, Stephen, stop— [lol]
Stop eating my burrito!
Stephen!
TaKe YoUr DoG oUt Of My WiFe! (?????) [dying]
Stephen Colbert! [laff]
Okay, alright.
Beef jerky is beef jerky. (he thinks he's funny as hell and so do I)
Beef jerky is jerked beef ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
*dying markimoo*
Is it weird to like having nails shoved in my eyes? (yes, yes it is, Mark.) 0_o [do you need help mark?]
Is it weird to like penis? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Is it weird to like, uh, uh, uh,
Taking my ass for a ride? [wot] (more snickering)
Football is two ba— [stops to think]
two balls, one foot ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
[xD-ing]
Ryan Gosling.
Ryan GOOSling.
Ryan goo'd on my shooes. [wtf?] 0_o
I drank too much semen. [Jesus o_O]
I drank too many beavers.. (what in the actual hell 0_o)(idfk-)
Too much beaver *uncontrollable giggling* [THIS VIDEO WAS SPONSERED BY GRAMMARLY]
How to make a sandwich. [Older video reference]
How to make a man out of YOOOU! [Mulan reference]
How to make a woman out of MEEE!
How to kill...
A mockingbird.(das dark.)
Alright, how to kill a bear with your bArE hands.
How to kill a shark with your shark hands.
How to kill a beaver with your BEAVER!! (what) (um) (nani-)
How to look your best, how to look good.
How to look pretty, cute, fat.
Handsome.
I hate it when you call me out for murder. (That isn't concerning in the slightest)
I hate it when you don't smash that like button. (SAME)
Oh, I hate it when you offer me a burrito and it's just your dick in a tortilla. 0_o
Wrestling is one step away from insertion. (tru)
I wanna be a rockstar.
I wanna be a millionaire.
A billionaire.
Triiiillioooooooonaaaaaaaaire.
Alright, is it painful to squeeze a baby [giggling] through your peepee hole? (No, I tried.)
(Mark laughing like an insane clown)
Is it cool to wear sunglasses?
Is it cool to wear a human wearing sunglasses, Ehh?
EHH?!
Is it healthy to eat butt?
Is it healthy to eat ass?
Is it healthy to eat that brown stanky butthole? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
(silent laugh)
Is my bird (losing it) aerodynamic enough to fit inside me? (laughs)
Is my bird going to remember its trip through my bowely-wowelies? (bowely-wowelies? i'm concerned 0_o)
Is my bird—
Is my bird alive?
Why did they build the Washington Monument?
Why did they build the Stairway to Heaven?
Why did they build this big old dick in my living room?
Why'd they do it, I don't get it.
It's a nice art piece I suppose, but it's just kinda staring at me.
Is duct tape safe for...
Is duct tape safe for keeping the poopy in?
Is it?
Is duct tape safe for keeping the poopy in?
(grunting)
I'm sorry, it's not that funny.
I just—that really tickled my poopy bone.
It really did.
It's like you go to your doctor, you got diarrhea or something,
you're like, "Hey doc, is duct tape safe for keeping the poopy in?"
I can't stop, I don't know why, I'm sorry.
I know it's not that funny; every time I say it, it's so funny.
Is duct tape safe for keeping the poopy in?
It's not funny, it's—ah, I'm cryin'.
Oh boy, alright, is duct tape safe for strapping mice to my bottle rocket?
That's not a euphemism. Is duct tape safe for ducts?
Mmm?
Where can you sell a bunch of Girl Scout cookies, no questions asked?
Do babies like being tossed like a football?
Do babies like being kicked through the—kicked straight through the uprights?
Do babies like...
like having the Gatorade dumped on them?
What happens when you mix alcohol and even more alcohol?
What happens when you mix alcohol and a man dangerously close to explosive poopy syndrome?
...dangerously close to explosive poopy...
Is it wrong to make boom boom past midnight?
Is it wrong to hold hands in public?
Is it wrong, is it wrong...
to test the true capacity of my butthole?
As opposed to the fake capacity, or just what we're all "taught to believe".
What body parts can you live without?
Ooooh!
What body parts can you replace with robots?
What body parts can you fit in the freezer?
Why am I afraid of the man in my shower?
You just open your shower right in the morning, there's just a man there.
"Ah! I'm sorry!"
Why am I afraid of the true capacity of my butthole?
Is it bad to mix...
Is it bad to mix grandpa and grandma's ashes with my tang?
Is it bad to hide an attack beaver in my mailbox?
Just to surprise the mailman.
What happened to Markiplier?
What, just, what the hell happened?
What is worse than using fingernail clippings to add some crunch?
What is worse than, what is worse,
than sneezing into the casket?
Should I get magnum condoms for my magnum dong?
Does Canada have, uh, people?
Does Canada have the technology... the technology to weaponize beavers?
Does...
You know, for my mailbox attack beaver.
I need to know.
Does Canada have nukes? Ah, shit.
Why does my arm keep finding its way inside me?
Why does my arm keep strangling babies?
Why does my arm constantly point towards the nearest penis?
Nearest pen?!? *giggling*
How long should I keep my hamster inside me?
How long should I keep the poopy in?
Howdy Doc, I'm back again.
*in between giggles* Hey Doc, Hey Doc, I got another question for you. I know you really liked the last one.
How long, how long do you think I should keep the poopy in?
How often should I replace the duct tape is what I'm asking you.
Okay, alright, I think that's gonna have to do it, I, uh...
Yeah, I'm pretty dumb.
I, uh, I'm pretty dumb. I don't know why—is duct tape safe to keep the poopy in? [laughs]
Eh.. and I don't know why that makes me laugh!
Why the frick? THINKING that sentence doesn't make me laugh.
SAYING that sentence makes me laugh, for some reason.
I can think... (thinks "is duct tape safe for keeping the poopy in") and that's fine.
But if I say, is duct tape safe to keep the poopy in?
(hits desk multiple times)
IT"S NOT FUNNY!
Why! I don't know! Alright, whatever.
So I'm done here, that was Google Feud, I'll probably play it again in another year or so,
but thank you everybody so much for watching!
If you wanna play Google Feud, go to googlefeud.com, I'll put a link in the description below.
And let me know what you thought, if you thought any of my answers were more stupid than the others,
write your favorite stupid answer in the comments down below,
and if you have some stupid answers as well, write 'em down there as well.
Thank you everybody so much for watching, and as always, I will see you in the next video. Buh-bye!
(hitting desk) And I don't know why that makes me laugh!
Why the frick, it's just like, saying—
thinking that sentence doesn't make me laugh, saying that sentence makes me laugh, for some reason.