Matt: You see a beautiful woman but something inside you stops you from approaching
her and just saying hi maybe it's a butterfly feeling in your stomach or
maybe you feel paralyzed with fear now imagine that you could approach almost
any woman with very little fear or hesitation what would that do for your
life well it's actually a lot easier than you think the truth is that most
guys never approach if you're one of those guys then you're missing tons of
opportunities my name is Matt artisan from the attractive man and these are my
top three proven ways to eliminate your approach anxiety
to be assertive we've done all the testing you know what
works hey man before I get into the tips make
sure to subscribe to this channel because I have a lot of videos for you
to help you meet and attract your dream woman I also want to give you a free
confidence cheat sheet that gives you 18 different ways to boost your confidence
and become fearless check out the link down in the description to download your
free confidence cheat sheet approach anxiety can be super frustrating and
pretty much every guy on the planet experiences it to some degree the first
way to overcome your approach anxiety is to experience it fully instead of trying
to fight it which is kind of the natural reaction right you have those unpleasant
unwanted feelings you want to fight it and kind of try to talk yourself into it
but instead experience it fully embrace those unwanted negative feelings just
allow yourself to just feel it feel that turning sensation in your stomach or
that paralyzing feeling just breathe into it
take a deep breath and just feel it feel it in your body and understand and
remind yourself that that feeling will soon pass
you can even describe the feelings to yourself like you can stand there for a
second and say okay I have that kind of churning sensation the pit of my stomach
I I can almost I can't breathe you know my heart's beating faster just kind of
describe the you know the negative sensation to yourself and believe it or
not that really helps because when you do that you're just acknowledging that
this is just a part of you right feelings happen we can't really control
all of our emotions and instead of you know trying to fight it and feeling
shame for feeling that you know maybe insecurity or nervousness that you're
feeling you're just embracing it you're saying this is who I am you know it's
natural because it actually is it's your reptile brain going into the
fight-or-flight response even though you're not in a dangerous situation your
stupid reptile brain doesn't know that it's not a dangerous situation doesn't
know that you're not a caveman anymore and that approaching a beautiful woman
is not going to get you kicked out of the tribe but just understand that that
is normal and just embrace it feel it and you either be able to respond
despite the negative feeling like you'll be able to approach her anyway or
eventually you know doing that every time you have that that negative
sensation eventually it just starts to diminish it just starts to go away
extended periods of mindful meditation are also great for this because what
you're doing let's say you're meditating for like 30 minutes to an hour it's
gonna be painful after about 15 minutes your back is gonna start hurting your
legs are gonna start cramping up but there's nothing you can do you want to
stay in that position and just be mindful be present and again experience
that sense a sensation fully knowing that soon it will pass and same thing
eventually it becomes manageable the pain might not go away but it becomes
manageable another thing you can do is cold showers and try to be present and
mindful and grounded while you're taking the shower because it's gonna be painful
just like those painful feelings inside you the nervousness or fear when you see
the woman it's gonna be you know there's like shards of glass coming at you when
you're taking that cold shower but allow yourself to just be present behave
mindful and experience it fully and you will actually start to enjoy the cold
showers you know some people like I think his name's like the ice man he can
go into like ice-cold water for a really long period of time and he claims to
actually enjoy it and what's key when you're doing this
whether it's the approach anxiety or you're practicing the meditation or the
cold showers is that you breathe into it you take a deep breath and you hold it
with a long like ten-second exhale and just allow yourself to become really
present really grounded and experience whatever it is in that moment and it
will pass and no longer be an issue hey man just a reminder subscribe to this
channel and don't forget to download your free confidence cheat sheet number
two is progressive desensitization which is just basically a fancy way of saying
taking small steps baby steps so for example if you had a fear of spiders you
might start off with whatever is like the smallest
you're comfortable with which might be just looking at a picture of a spider
even in the distance and then eventually you get it closer and that's not so bad
and then eventually we move on to a real spider but it's not in the corner of the
room in a cage and eventually we move the cage closer to the middle and
eventually the cages in your hand eventually you're like okay it's okay
and eventually you know the spiders in your hand when it comes to approaching
women you might start with just the thought of approaching women that might
scare you and you just have to think about it a bunch of times until that
doesn't scare you and then you just start walking towards beautiful women
you don't even talk to them you just walk towards them fifty times maybe
until that's no big deal and every time you get close to them you just turn
around walk the other way when you know veer to a different direction eventually
that's no big deal and then you start asking for directions would be the next
step ask him where Starbucks's do that 20 or more times until that's like an
easy you know easy thing to do it gives you very little anxiety and then move to
the next thing which might be asking for directions then taking it a little bit
further eventually you move into going direct
and then having longer interactions and eventually you're getting phone numbers
and even instant dates so it's just starting with the first step the thing
that you know just scares you a little bit get comfortable with that and then
keep pushing yourself moving on quicker and quicker and that's exactly what our
Academy program does it takes you wherever you're at right now and just
every week expands your comfort zone until you're comfortable doing things
that previously were way outside your comfort zone and number three I really
like this one it's called the no pressure approach which instead of
seeing a beautiful woman and putting all this pressure on yourself that you have
to go direct and make her day and then keep the conversation going and then
hopefully get a phone number and hopefully she's attracted to you and so
forth right which seems like a lot of work and a lot of pressure
instead you don't think any of those things and you just think of it as kind
of like a warm-up approach like you're just gonna ask her some basic functional
question like asking her for directions and that's it it's kind of like a
chicken exit on a roller coaster right instead of thinking oh I got to go
on that roller coaster right now you think of what's the first step well I
got to just wait in line so if you're freaking out about the roller coaster
just convince yourself at least to wait in line for 30 minutes and so you get to
the top and then you can decide if you want to go further or not you can always
take that chicken exit so when you start the approach by just saying hey there's
a beautiful woman I'm just gonna ask her where something is I'm gonna ask her
where Starbucks is and if she gives me a great reaction if she smiles even if she
says yes or no it doesn't matter but as long as she seems like she has a good
vibe a good energy then maybe I'll take it further maybe I'll say actually I'm
not even looking for that I just thought you're really pretty and I just want to
tell you something like that but it gives you the option to bail right you
can go up to her and thinking okay I'm just gonna give her direction I'm just
gonna ask for directions I'm not gonna do anything else
maybe if she's you know has a good energy I'll take it further but I don't
have to right you take all that pressure away and of course if you decide not to
take it further maybe she gives you an answer like no I'm sorry I don't know
where it is and just doesn't seem like she's in a very good day then it's no
big deal you say okay I have an awesome day Thanks and you know she's on her
what on her way but at least you did something at least you took action so
that's what the no pressure approach is all about it's just kind of convincing
your brain to take some action to at least ask her for directions and then
deciding if you want to take it further or not and even if you decide not to the
first five or ten times eventually you'll convince yourself to take it
further you'll get so bored of just asking every girl for directions you'll
realize okay I might as well take it one step further especially if she has a
pleasant vibe and like I said it's a way of you just kind of testing out to see
you know kind of her energy what her vibe is some girls light up and smile
just when you ask him for directions so it's a great way for you to start seeing
that you know women are friendly women are approachable and it will get you
over your approach anxiety so if you have approach anxiety then do this man
to all three of these techniques and your approach anxiety will be no more I
promise you there's so many opportunities I want you to start taking
them hey man thanks for watching this video remember to subscribe to this
channel for more dating tips and click that Bell notification icon and make
sure to get your free copy of the confidence cheat sheet click the link in
the description or to the right of the screen because it has 18 different ways
to overcome fear and boost your confidence with women or really any
situation that makes you nervous so get your copy right now my name is Matt
Hardison from the attractive man and I'll see you in the next video