[MUSIC - MIKE RENO & ANN WILSON, "ALMOST PARADISE"]
(SINGING) Almost paradise.
We're knocking on heaven's door.
[KISS]
Almost paradise.
[SLURPING]
[DING]
[LOUD TYPING]
How could we ask for more?
Paradise.
Hey guys, I'm Tracy.
And I'm Andy.
And I can't believe we're almost to the end of Paradise.
I'm not ready for it to be over.
Five hours, we watched.
It was too much, and we just got to get right to it.
Lot of stuff.
We need our resident dancing expert, Corey!
Shimmy in here!
[CHEERING]
Is that Eric?
OK, you guys, we cannot start off without talking about this
huge news that was announced yesterday.
Were you expecting it?
No!
I was not expecting it.
Me neither.
If you're living under a rock, we're
about to spoil who the next bachelor is,
and you'd have to be living under a rock.
Technically it's out there.
Because it's everywhere.
So they announced it on Good Morning America.
And the new bachelor is
[DRUM ROLL]
None other than--
Jason.
No.
Colton!
And the reviews are just--
OK, well, I have to tell you.
I had mixed feelings about it.
I think he's going to be great.
We've heard rumors that it was down
to Jason, Blake, and Colton.
And so when it came down to those three,
it was like Blake was too sweaty, he couldn't do it,
and then I was like OK, Colton and Jason, and Colton,
I just didn't--
if he would have really redeemed himself in Paradise,
maybe I would have been like you know what?
He deserves a chance.
This is why I'm conflicted about the whole thing.
I'm sure he's a very nice guy, but the whole Tia thing,
I mean, he did her dirty.
He did.
To me, Tia came out of this needing
to be the Bachelorette more so than he came out
needing to be the Bachelor.
He said on GMA that they're finally in a place where they--
Could be like--
They understand, but do we think she's
going to show up as a contestant on The Bachelor?
He said no.
Michael Strahan asked on Good Morning America.
But do we think that that's not true?
Maybe.
I don't know.
But you know what?
Because they have not started filming yet.
So Colton's the bachelor, which means we obviously
have to start off by talking about what happened with him
and Tia.
Honestly, it kind of flipped really quickly.
He just decided that--
Out of nowhere.
So anyway, so sad for them.
Do we take them down?
I think we have to take them down.
Yeah, toss them.
Bye.
We'll see you soon.
Tia, I want you in the cube.
Come here because I have a lot of question for you.
And Colton, we'll see you soon.
Tune in in January.
So we're down to less couples, and one of the strong couples
that I think is kind of making me believe
them are Jenn and Jordan.
No.
You're not buying it?
No.
I think they really like each other,
but I just don't see them having it for the long haul.
Jenna freaked out when the Tia and Colton thing happened,
and I thought it was really sweet to see Jordan come
to comfort her, but I have to say, the best part of, I think,
this entire five hour episode was when Jordan was doing his
in the moment with the camera, and John wakes up from his nap,
and walks by, and he's like what happened?
I haven't seen Tia and Colton for a while,
and Jordon's looks at the camera.
He's so good.
Are you kidding?
He's golden.
He's actually pretty good.
He is.
How upset was Shushanna when Eric left?
She was like he was just such a nice guy.
Well, she had been there for five minutes.
I was going to say.
She's like I need someone else.
No one likes me.
So we had asked everybody.
You had make this bold prediction that Eric
could maybe be the bachelor.
I didn't think he would, but I thought
it would be a really nice strong, bold choice.
I agree, but he really kind of crashed and burned as far as--
He totally crashed and burned.
But he committed to Angela so much.
I think he got scared.
Then he got scared, and then he's
like I'll go after Cassandra, and then he was like--
Eric, we love you.
It's always miracle season, but you got to go.
Yeah, we do love Eric.
We do love you, come back.
Come visit.
Oh my god, you guys.
Shushanna is--
Different.
Very entertaining.
There's a lot going on up here that I
don't know if I understand.
She's definitely an over-thinker.
Half of the second episode was just
her deciding who she wanted her freak out over.
And staring awkwardly.
Oh my gosh.
A lot of sitting.
A lot sitting, right?
So she's obsessed with Camille.
She can't get past the fact that Kamil and Annaliese
are together.
By the way, Annalise, who for every episode--
who we love by the way--
she kind of is portrayed on the show as not having a backbone,
and then she just sat down Shushanna and was
like I'm going to need you to back off.
And Kamil thought that was hot.
And also didn't Kamil kind of reference
the witch thing-- the witchcraft thing as a joke--
and then she's like, and I'm hearing her doing witchcraft.
I was like oh, wait a second.
Well, that was mean.
That was mean.
When she was on the day bed with new Jordan.
Oh yeah, this guy?
Yeah, with hot Jordan came in.
He is kind of hot and I like his accent.
Yeah, he's super sexy.
He's really cute, and he wanted to give it a shot with her,
and then she was like no, I'm still not over Kamil.
And he's like, OK, then I'm going to go on another date.
Then he's on another date, and she was like--
Wait a minute.
No one likes me.
So then we get a little throwback
into a visit from Ashley I and Jared.
And we all knew it was coming because it had already
been leaked to the press.
They broke that immediately after it happened.
But it was kind of cute.
All I kept thinking about was Kevin the whole time.
I know, poor guy.
Oh, that's right.
How about Kevin alluding to taking her virginity?
Speaking of D's.
And then it was good because then the two of them,
he was given a date, which he deserved it.
They deserved it.
And then they went on their date, and they're just so cute,
and they say I love you, and I just really believe them.
They're mature enough to have a relationship.
Agree
And they teased that in the finale
that someone's getting engaged, and I just assume it's them.
It's got to be.
They're just like--
They're the most mature.
They're the most ready.
Totally.
1000%.
OK, so then we get to the cocktail party,
and the rose ceremony, and Kristen enters.
You guys remember scallop fingers?
Oh my God.
Oh, I love scallop.
Anyway, short lived for Kristen.
She was in and out.
Don't get comfortable.
So then Angela leaves, and then who else leaves?
Oh, Chelsea.
Chelsea.
He finally had to say goodbye to Chelsea.
Which you know what?
I still want love for her.
I love Chelsea, but that last ditch effort to get a rose.
Yeah, just wasn't going to happen.
No, it wasn't going to happen.
But then I was excited because two of my favorite couples
from Paradise returned, Jade and Tanner.
With kids.
And Carly and Evan, and little Emmy and Bella.
So they had this contest to see who's going to be on the date,
and obviously Kendall and Joe win because they're the cutest.
They are like the most endearing.
And what's the reward?
They get to baby sit.
I will say, though, that watching Joe hold little Emmy
and her just like losing it.
Oh, it was so good.
He did such a good job.
He was like ehh.
What do I do with her?
You saw a little maternal side of Kendall,
which was a little surprising.
Yeah.
No, I would think she [INAUDIBLE]
You don't think so?
She usually holds dead things or her taxidermy.
Well, that's what she said too.
She was like I'm used to holding dead things, and I was like OK.
Yeah, a little bit weird.
OK, so then we get Chris and Crystal.
All right, here's the thing.
OK, here we go.
I've got to say this because we are tough on Chris
because he was very easy not to like at the beginning.
I feel like now that he's in a good place with somebody.
He's comfortable.
He's comfortable in his skin and he's got a nice thing--
He's a gentleman.
He's saying and doing nice things.
And seeing them together, and here's the thing,
we really like Crystal.
So seeing Crystal this happy with him I'm like OK,
I like him.
I really feel like they're a couple
of that off camera, are going to try to work it out because--
They don't seem like they're going
to get engaged on the show.
I don't think that they're an engaged couple,
but I think they could still be dating.
And so then Diggy comes in.
Hey, welcome back, Diggy.
He's a nice guy.
Yeah, and then he comes in, and there's a little drama
because he takes out Olivia, and they actually
seem to really hit it off.
Do you follow John on Instagram?
Venmo John?
Yeah.
Yeah, I follow them all.
They guy that invented Venmo?
He's really handsome.
And great body.
Oh God.
Yeah.
By the way, since clarify because everyone's like yeah,
he created Venmo.
He didn't create Venmo.
He's a programmer.
So he was a part of the creation of Venmo.
He had something to do with it.
So then we get the tease, and as always, it
looks like it's going to be an epic, epic finale for the ages.
Crying.
You got all the things you want in the finale.
You got your tears, you've got your engagements,
you've got your Robby coming back.
Who do you think is caput?
I think that they're solid, solid engaged.
Solid!
I think they're together, but not engaged.
I think they may be end it, and I think they're serious.
I think they're done.
I feel like--
And then they're for sure.
They're for sure done.
No, there's no way.
They're for sure.
None of these are happening.
A big thanks to everyone for tuning in.
And tune in next week for our finale recap everybody.
And comment below to tell us what you think because we
may actually read them.
We're going to read some comments.
And answer your questions.
Yeah, and I really want to know what you think about Colton
being the bachelor.
We have mixed feelings.
What do you think?
There's a lot going on in Paradise.
Next.
Anyway.
Oh.
[BANGING]
Oh!
That was a good one.
I'm OK.
[BEEP BEEP]