(audience applause) - No matter how much
you dream and work to succeed in show business,
you've also gotta figure out how to pay those bills.
We heard Ben Vereen say just that a little while ago.
Trust me, I was a cocktail waitress, I had so many jobs.
Served food, sold popcorn at a movie theater,
sang and danced at Six Flags Over Texas.
Like literally, I've worked so many jobs.
But those jobs were low-key compared to some of the work
that others have done on their rise to the top.
So check this out.
- Gosh, I taught preschool for five years
and that was so much fun.
(audience applauds)
- You were a telemarketer?
- Oh, you were a telemarketer, too?
- I was. - Oh, dang!
- I worked in a shoe store, and a fast food joint,
and a, you know, an auto body shop, and sold newspaper.
- I used to work at the Four Seasons Hotel in Beverly Hills.
Yeah, I worked there seven and a half years,
waited on all of Hollywood.
- I lifeguarded for years, actually,
from the age of 16 well into my mid-twenties.
- Is it true that back in the eighties
that you were a breakdancer?
- Let tell you something.
- [Kelly] Let me tell you something!
- Matt Damon suggested that he and I-
- He threw him under that bus so fast! (laughs)
- Oh, you know, hardly.
We had some nylon Puma suits.
- [Kelly] Oh my God. (chuckles)
- We wanted to be cool, and so we learned how to breakdance.
And then Matt was like, "If we just get some linoleum
"and put it down at the subway,
"we could do some of our moves, you know,
"and like put out a hat."
So it is not a lie to say that he and I,
and a few other people who I won't name
because they have families
and they're somewhere in Boston now.
(Kelly and audience laughs)
- You made money breakdancing.
- Well, I won't say anybody put quarters in the cup.
(Kelly and audience laughs)
I think they walked by with pity and astonishment, like.
- Um, (exhales strongly),
it's kind of traumatic when I talk about,
but like, but in a good way.
So basically I'm a fourth generation dog shower.
- Yeah, that's a big deal!
- My great-grandmother started the Beagle Club of Australia.
I am allergic to dogs though,
which is where the tragedy comes in.
So every weekend, every weekend, we would go to dog shows
and I'd be like, (strangled noise) like that,
like that's what my fun childhood.
And my family-
- [Kelly] What kind of irony is that?
- So my family would,
how we'd make money is we had a little,
there's me with all the dog showing ribbons
that I won behind me.
And yeah, there's me at some of the dog shows.
Look how young I am,
I'm like literally three years old showing the beagles.
And my mom was devastated when I didn't continue
the family legacy of being a dog shower.
She's literally, I had to tell her in a public place,
"I think I'm gonna be an actress",
(Kelly laughs)
because she wanted me to be a dog shower.
She was devastated!
And for my first few TV shows,
she wouldn't even put them on in the house
cause she was so upset. (laughs)
- Oh my God!
- Now she's fine with it,
she's fine with my career choices now.
But also if you're watching-
- And now you're doing "Pooch Perfect".
- Do what you want, don't listen to your mom.
- Don't listen! (laughs)
- I ran the business center at a hotel a long time ago.
No, the hotel no longer exists, probably because of me.
(Nick laughs)
But the job was brutal
because I had to be there in a suit and tie,
ready to see anyone.
Unlock, open up the office,
warm up the copy machine, the fax, everything at 6:00 AM.
And I was coming from like 35 minutes away on the train.
So, you know, it was an early start
and no one would ever show up until at least 8:00 AM.
(Kelly groans)
So I actually, I developed a great kind of system
of getting there, opening everything up,
turning on the lights, warming up the fax,
getting everything going.
And then I would take off my jacket,
loosen my tie, unbutton the top button,
and take out a small pillow from one of my drawers,
put it on my desk, lean over,
and I'd be out for two hours.
I just learned to how to sleep like this, basically-
(Kelly and Nick laugh)
- That's awesome!
- And then I developed like crazy good hearing.
As soon as I would hear the door start to open
I was like, up! Shnk! Boom! Coat! Bam!
And pretend like- - You're like, "What!
"No one was sleeping, I've been awake!"