- Thank you.
Thank you.
It sounds like they're excited to see me,
and I felt good about it.
And then I saw that guy in the suit going
(Kelly and audience laughing)
- No. - So they're just-
- We are excited you made it here.
I'm sorry.
I didn't know.
I was freaking protocols.
So I'm always like-
- [Howie] I don't know if we're supposed to touch.
- I don't either - I don't know if we're still-
- It's not touch.
So we're safe.
Well, your entire America's Got Talent crew.
They were here.
- Yeah, I was, - You know, and you weren't.
- I was on my way.
I went to New York.
(Kelly laughs)
- [Kelly] Simon, Simon was-
- I didn't get directions.
They said,
"Okay, Tuesday."
And there I am.
I landed in New York and I missed-
- We did open our show in New York.
I can see the confusion kind of.
- [Howie] Yeah but...
(Kelly and audience laughing)
Apparently my...
I live confused, but I'm here.
I made it.
And I'm back. - No I love it.
I love it.
Now we can talk total crap about Simon.
He's not here.
(Kelly and audience laughs)
- Oh my God.
Yeah, but Simon's had a rough year.
You know that, - I know.
- I mean this season is great,
and I think the best talent ever.
And I'm so glad that he's back.
- Yeah. - And semi healthy,
you know that he fell off of-
- He fell again.
- Well, that's what I gonna say.
He broke his back last season.
Then in London,
- How about he just
stop working out. - I got call out.
Working out? - Or whatever he's doing.
- He's not on an exercise bike.
You think he's on a Peloton?
He's falling off a- - No, but isn't he
No he's on like a bike outside.
That's like working out right?
- No, that's going places.
That's going places-
- That's walking.
- No, no.
He was going and I said,
"Wear protection."
And then he, he ended up-
- Wear protection.
- Right, and he cracked his skull.
Not a condom.
- No I know, but I hope you yelled it.
I hope you yelled it like on the street,
"Wear protection."
(Kelly laughs)
- It's always important- - You told him
to wear a helmet.
- Pardon me? - You told him
to wear a helmet.
No, I said wear protection.
(Kelly laughs) You just took it that way.
Yes.
But that's okay.
- 'Cause when you- - You can fall off a bike
and not impregnate somebody.
(Kelly and audience laughs)
Because you don't know
who you're gonna fall onto.
- You don't know.
It's a slippery slope. - Just happens.
- [Howie] Does it really?
- No.
So wait, so you you've bought Simon this.
Which is amazing.
- [Howie] Oh, where are we pointing?
- [Kelly] Which by the way, wait,
I would totally ride that.
That looks fun. - Me too.
I bought one for myself too.
I get it. - I would too, yeah.
- I would do it.
You know what?
You, I don't know if you should do it,
but I can do it.
Because you're like single now, right?
- [Kelly] Yeah.
- So I think- - Wait, are single people
not allowed to ride bikes?
- No, but just a single person
on a tricycle is not as attractive.
(Kelly and audience laughs)
- What?
- [Howie] No, I'm not.
I'm not making any-
- What does that mean?
Maybe more for men.
Like if I was a single guy,
and I wanted to date
or I wanted to meet somebody.
There's no way
I'd be sitting on a tricycle going,
"Look at me, look at-"
(audience laughs)
You know, it just doesn't.
- No, but here's the thing.
See, well one,
I'm not trying
to pick up anybody. - But,
I would always be wearing protection.
- Well one, I'm not trying to pick up anybody.
But if I were,
I would want a man
that would look at me on that and go,
"She seems fun."
(Kelly and audience laughs)
- Really?
- Because I'm on a tricycle
and I've probably got - Yeah I don't know
if fun is the word. - it loaded down with flowers.
I am fun.
No, I, you're fun.
I wasn't talking about you.
I'm saying, seeing a lovely lady
on a tricycle. - Really?
- Really?
Have you ever heard?
I live here in California
and I go down to Venice Beach to bike.
I have never heard.
And I have a lot of single friends.
I have never heard.
"Oh, you should seen this lady on a tricycle yesterday."
(everyone laughs)
- You've never seen, - Oh my, she had a basket.
- You've never seen me on a tricycle.
- [Howie] Whoa.
And she didn't even know I hopped on back.
She had no idea I was there, huh?
(Kelly laughing)
- [Kelly] Oh my God.
- It's just not a good look for
- I'm gonna do it. - mingling.
- I'm gonna make a video
and I'm gonna send it to you.
- [Howie] Please do.
- Because I'm gonna look good.
(audience claps)
- I'll tell you.
It'll go viral on TikTok.
- [Kelly] Just saying.
- Kelly on a trike.
- And then I'm gonna send it to Simon and go,
"Look this is how you do it."
(Kelly laughs)
- Yes, because-
He's got to, but I mean,
you gotta give him props, you know.
When you fall off a bike
to get right back on.
- Yeah. - And fall off again.
(audience laughs)
To fall off a bike.
The second time they save you fall down.
You should try to fall down again.
(Kelly laughing) - So you're not afraid
of falling down.
- He's (Kelly laughs)
He is jinxed with the bike.
I was like,
"Maybe try another,
maybe try a scooter, you know.
A skateboard." - That's another thing.
That's like one up in the motorized vehicle industry.
The scooter is the tricycle.
- No like a little Vespa,
like a little Vespa scooter.
- Why do you say it like that?
- I don't know.
Vespa.
I feel like I'm in a Tuscan,
under the Tuscan sun, you know?
And I'm dying-
- You shouldn't, it all goes together, Vespa.
It's not Vesba.
Vesba.
- I know, but in my world. - You're making much more
out of the second syllable than-
- I think what we've discovered
is we would never date in any realm.
(Kelly and audience laughs)
You don't want me on a tricycle.
You don't like how I say Vespa.
- No, I want you with me all the time.
I don't want you riding off into the sunset
on its on a tricycle - On a tricycle?
Or a Vespa? - No,
I like you.
I'm not was I,
are you taking it seriously?
- Oh my God.
No, I would hug you.
But you don't like- - No I don't want to be hugged
But that's the way.
(Kelly and audience laughing)
- Oh my God.
I'm totally kidding.
- Kidding about what?
What can you- - You don't wanna hug me?
(Kelly laughs) You want to hug me?
We could spoon.
- No.
- 'Cause that way I'm not facing you.
- I only spoon for so long.
- Come on, give me a hug.
Give me a hug.
- Let's talk about it.
Let's talk about it.
(audience cheering)
Let's talk about-
I love how I kind of just
pressed my boobs against you. (audience laughs)
- Don't worry about it.
I'm wearing protection.
(Howie and audience laughs)
- Oh my God.
Oh my God.
You're gonna stay here.
- That's great. - Okay.