So I want to talk about something called
pathological accommodation.
Everybody accommodates their partner to one degree
or another-- it's normal.
But there becomes a point, or you can get to a point, where
you're accommodating your partner so much
that you're doing it to your own detriment,
and that's called pathological accommodation.
Now, that's a really big word, but what it basically means,
is that you're not setting enough boundaries.
And when you're not setting enough boundaries,
eventually it's going to take a toll
on you and the relationship.
So it's OK to compromise at times,
it's OK to accommodate your partner.
A pathological accommodation would be,
you're taking on so many tasks in the home
that you're exhausted and worn out and burnt out.
It can also be more psychological.
Your partner, let's say, has very little capacity
for conflict discussion.
So you keep accommodating the fact
that they don't want to talk about stuff,
and meanwhile, stuff's building up.
That's pathological accommodation.
Where you're accommodating so much that you're
actually hurting the relationship
and hurting yourself, and in many cases,
also hurting your partner, because everybody
has to be able to deal with a certain amount of frustration.
It's just how it is, right?
You can't just accommodate your partner so they never
feel uncomfortable, or accommodate
so much because you don't want to feel uncomfortable.
Either way, you can take it to a point
where it's to your own detriment.
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