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welcome to storyline online
brought to you by the sag after
foundation i am chris o'dowd and today
i'm going to read
arnie the donut written and illustrated
by laurie keller
irony turned out to be just the kind of
donut he'd hoped he'd be
chocolate covered with bright colored
candy sprinkles
look at all my sprinkles there must be a
million of them
actually there were only 135 but i'm not
going to spoil it for him
he was made very early in the morning at
the downtown bakery
home of the best donuts a round
he round get it arnie was proud to be
one of the best
he knew that people all over town made
special trips to his bakery to buy
donuts of their very own
as ernie sat on the tray which had just
been placed on the donut case
he took a moment to reflect on the
amazing things that had happened to him
that morning
one cut into ring two
deep fried i'm soaking in boiling grease
but i
love it three cooled yeah drinks huh
thank you four iced who's that handsome
donors
that's me five sprinkled caution
sprinkle area must wear safety goggles
six named whatever i named i'm going to
go buy
cool iced tea arnie looked around and
saw all sorts of doughnuts sitting
nearby
a cinnamon twist dollar holes
chocolate zebra square powdered
long john
he tried to strike up a conversation
with an apple fritter on the next tray
over
but she didn't seem to want to talk it
is rather early
maybe she's not a morning donut arnie
supposed
it was six a.m and the baker had just
hung the open sign in the window
ernie was fascinated as he watched the
customers stream into the bakery
one by one donuts were chosen placed in
paper bags and whisked away with their
new owners
some went by the dozen in giant boxes
goodbye
arnie yelled to each donut have a great
trip
this is so exciting i wonder who will
choose me
just then arnie looked up and saw a man
pointing right
at him what before he could say another
word
he was pulled from the tray and placed
in a paper bag of his very own
thank you mr bing have a nice day arnie
heard the baker say to the man
mr bing that's a fine name
arnie decided i can hardly wait to meet
him
goodbye we'll miss you i should have
talked to him while i had the chance
the ride to mr bing's apartment was a
little
bumpy arnie was grateful for the soft
napkin the
baker had so thoughtfully placed
underneath him in the bag
he'd never ridden a car before and he
wished he could look out the window to
see all the sights
but more than anything he wished he
could meet mr bing
why does he keep me in this bag i
already wondered
finally the car came to a stop and they
were home
mr bing carefully removed arnie from his
paper bag
and placed him on a clean shiny what's a
handsome
place arnie said to himself i'm not
crazy about the design i prefer a more
modern look
but it's nothing a little paint can't
fix mr bing gently lifted arnie from his
new place
isn't that cute thought ernie as he
closed his eyes and smiled
he wants to hold me as arnie relaxed in
mr bing's hand
he felt himself moving higher and higher
away from his plate
when he opened his eyes to see where he
was going he discovered that he was
headed straight
for mr bing's open mouth
what are you doing shouted arnie
mr bing was stunned he dropped darny
back onto the plate
i was going to eat you
he replied in shock eat me
ernie shrieked his sprinkles flying
everywhere
why would you do a thing like that do
you make a habit of eating all of your
houseguests
of course not so why then would it
suddenly occur to you to eat
me arnie demanded well
because you're a doughnut
that's that's what donuts afford to eat
do you mean to tell me you've done this
before
yes i eat a doughnut every day
mr bing said sheepishly arnie froze
he felt sick frightened i better get out
of here before he tries to eat me
again and angry my friends they've
probably all been
eaten he thought to himself for a moment
i must put a stop to this right away
i'll call the bakery and warn the others
whoever's left that is arnie knew that
there was no time to waste
and that he needed to be very sneaky in
order to keep his plan from mr bing
he turned to mr bing and said in his
sweetest voice
excuse me sir but i don't believe we've
been properly introduced
and my name is irony
um hello annie
mr bing stammered i'm mr bing
it's nice to eat you i mean to meet you
mr bing would you be a dear
and allow me to use your telephone
arnie asked extra politely oh
well okay said mr bing
and he handed arnie the phone as quickly
as he could
arnie dialed the number of the bakery
a downtown bakery home of the mr
pickerman
ernie frantically whispered this is
arnie the donut
do you remember me you made me at 5 15
this morning
and i was bought about 20 minutes ago by
a man who goes by the name of mr bing
are you sonny the baker answered what
can i do for you
now i don't want to alarm you but just
moments ago that man tried to
eat me and not only that he claims to
have eaten hundreds of us
i'm gonna make a run for him but i
wanted to warn you so that if you see
him coming into the bakery again you can
stop him
oh my honey i i thought you understood
that's
why i'm mcdonald's for people to eat
i can't believe it arnie gasped
are the other donuts aware of this
arrangement
well i think so the baker said let me
ask them
to make sure the baker yelled to the
other donuts
do you do not know that you're going to
be eaten
we're delicious i don't blame them did
you hear that
annie the baker asked ernie was
crushed the phone dropped from his hand
he'd heard all he needed to hear
arne forgot all about his plan to escape
he clapped back onto the place
glanced up at mr bing and muttered all
right then
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let's get this over with go ahead
and eat me mr bing gazed down at arnie
i'm uh i'm not going to eat you annie
he said reassuringly i just wouldn't
feel right about it now
really ernie said with a huge sigh of
relief
well i'm glad to see that you've come to
your senses
but since i'm not going to eat you mr
bing continued
i'll have to figure out something else
to do with you
i've paid good money for you and i don't
want to be wasteful
of course not ernie agreed
what we need to do is each make a list
of things i can do with you instead of
eating you
between the two of us i know we'll come
up with something good
plan mr ping arnie said this will be
a breeze i bet i'm good at lots of stuff
they both feverishly wrote down their
ideas when they were finished
mr bing asked would you like to read
yours first
sure thing mr bing arne answered
things mr bing can do with me instead
of easing me do you need a ballroom
dance party
no i don't dance you could use a
personal fitness trainer
i'd get too sweaty how about a portrait
painter
oh heavens no would you like me to
entertain you at parties
do not pick my brown eyes
i don't like throwing parties i could be
your chauffeur
but you can't see over the steering
wheel
i'd make a great bodyguard who could you
protect me from
a cookie all righty mr ping
let's hear what you came up with okey
dokey
he replied i just know you'll like some
of these
things i could do with arnie instead of
eating him
i could use you as a pincushion ooh too
painful
how about an air freshener for my car
how about not would you like to be a
picture frame
i can't imagine so i need a new bowling
ball
well don't look at me you'd make a fine
paperweight
boring what about a doorstop try again
but there was nothing else on mr bing's
list
they were both completely out of ideas
arnie and mr bing were exhausted they
felt terribly disappointed
after a few minutes of awkward silence
mr bing finally spoke
i'm sorry arnie but it's clear that we
can't agree on anything for you to do
around here
this is difficult for me to say but i i
i think it would be best if you found
another home
i know said arnie fighting back tears
i'll just be on my way then is it all
right if i keep this napkin to pack up
my loose sprinkles
of course mr bing replied sadly
as soon as i get a job i'll pay you back
the money you spent on me
that's not necessary honey arnie shook
mr bing's hand
and thanked him for his kindness mr bing
opened the door and his arnie left he
paused and said
i guess donuts really are only good for
eating aren't they they both waved
goodbye
and arnie was gone mr bing stood at the
window and watched as ernie walked away
he walked past the flower beds the
mailboxes
and the apartment manager's office
is there anything worse than a sad
pastry
he passed the tennis court the swimming
pool
yeah whatever and the clubhouse
but when arnie breached the no dogs
allowed
sign at the end of the driveway mr bing
suddenly came up with a new idea
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annie wait up annie yelled mr bing as he
ran after him
arnie turned back and stopped when mr
being caught up with him
he was out of breath i can't believe i
didn't think of this earlier
mr bing panted arnie i've always wanted
a
dog keep talking big guy and could never
have one because they're not allowed
here
but there's no sign that says no
doughnuts allowed
arnie perked up when he realized what mr
bing was thinking
would you like to take walks and play
fetch
mr bing asked excitedly you bet i would
can you do tricks like rolling over
rolling over look at me i was made for
rolling over
well then there's only one thing left to
ask
arnie will you be my donut
dog oh mr thing
i would love to be your daughter
from that moment on arnie and mr bing
were inseparable
arnie liked being a donut dog even
better than he liked being a donut
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he went through a short phase of chewing
on furniture and barking at the mailman
but after a crash course in obedience
school
he graduated first in his class
everywhere the two of them went
people would stop to pet arnie no one
had ever seen
a donut dog before oh what a darling man
what a darling dog arnie and mr bing had
so
much fun together arnie was the best pet
mr bing could ever have hoped for
and mr bing was arnie's best friend
the end i chose this book
because it illustrates that two people
who come from very different backgrounds
the eater and the et can come together
and compromise
and decide that together eating doesn't
need to take place at all
they can just be friends sometimes
you're the eater sometimes you're the
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