(bells tinkling)
- Welcome to
a video.
What animal best fits your personality?
Have you ever wondered that?
I've wondered that,
which is why I'm making a video about it.
It's at animalinyou.com
and it's been seen on CNN, CBS, Dr. Phil.
Wow.
Now if you wanna know what your animal personality is,
you take this test 'cause you are stupid.
Some of these tests don't have many options at the end,
but this one has 50 different animals that you can be.
Then how angry do people get when they get snake?
They're like, "I'm a snake. Come on, man."
I have my coffee in my lap. I just spilled it on myself.
Just let me guess before I take the test and whatever,
which one am I going to be?
I think I might be maybe prairie dog.
'Cause I get out there
and I bark like a prairie dog sometimes.
I just like look around and go (barks).
That's what they do right?
Too bad there's not like a tufted titmouse on here.
'Cause I would think that would be the best one to get.
And then we could look at some celebrities. Wow.
Celebrities took this test?
Dude, Adrian Brody is a bird and I think
they're really just making fun of his nose there.
What are the questions on this test?
How big is your nose?
Is it really big?
Okay, you're just this bird with a big beak. Okay?
Owen Wilson is a hawk?
Wow. Wow.
Oh wow.
Oh wow. Snoop dog is a dog.
I'm starting to question the authenticity
of the celebrity results.
What type of am I going to get?
What, what, what? (mumbles)
Let's just take the test, man.
"How physically big are you?"
As opposed to how mentally big are you?
How emotionally big are you?
And it ranges from 'I'm quite small and petite.
Some people call me fun size" (laughs)
to 'I'm extra large and in charge."
Large Marge sent me.
- Large Marge sent me.
- I'll just go "I'm somewhat bigger than most people"
because what does that even mean?
Most people?
You compare me to people from the 1500s?
I'm a giant. How aggressive are you?
Well, I think we could all agree.
I'm not aggressive at all. So I'll just put immediately,
"I avoid confrontations
and accommodate others as much as possible."
Sociability.
I have self contained. I keep to myself.
I'm a lone wolf.
Ooh, could the wolf be my type?
"How attractive do you think you are?"
Who on earth do you think you are? Superstar?
Well, right you are.
Are you a dog in a wig? Be honest.
It says it all caps.
It's saying, "Hey, you ugly people, don't lie. Don't lie.
You know you ugly."
Adrian Brody, you know you got a big nose.
Just say it. Okay.
You know, I'm not going to be typical Utuber narcissistic,
"Oh, I'm so great. I'm the best."
I'm going to knock myself down a peg and say,
"I'm sure I'm above average." (laughs)
It's weird 'cause I think I was a very late bloomer.
So I'm still in the mindset of I'm ugly.
But from the evidence of comments I've gotten, maybe not.
Number five, "Creativity."
Are you like this monkey or whatever, orangutan.
I don't want to be offensive here and assume a species
playing the rock guitar.
I'm going to be realistic here and say,
"I'm pretty good at coming up with new creative ideas."
But I'm not like crazy off the wall.
Although maybe I just underestimate myself.
I don't know.
Maybe this quiz is trying to teach me
that I should reach for the stars.
Six, "Selflessness and Cooperation."
Or cooper-ation if you're stupid.
What's your philosophy of ka kuka?
I almost said it.
I make fun of people.
And then I almost said it.
"What's your philosophy of cooperation?
Many animals rely on their teammates to help
them survive, while others have a me-first approach."
And it goes from "I'm very compassionate
and usually put the
needs of friends and family above my own,"
to "Someone has to look out for #1.
Call me selfish, but a friend in need is a pain in the A."
Wow.
I'm just going to put it in the middle.
I'm Cooper-tive and willing to help friends.
But I have my own life too, man.
I have my own life sitting in my room,
making YouTube videos and not talking to anybody
and letting the garbage pile up for days
before I take it out.
Wow.
This test is so much fun.
It really makes me want to smash the Like button.
Don't you think so?
"How intelligent are you?"
Well, as you can see by the fact that I'm wearing glasses,
that don't have lenses, I'm very smart.
"Are you a curious animal eager to investigate the world?
Or do you just duh-uh.
So it ranges from the dumdums, who say, "I try not to think
too much about things.
It makes my head hurt."
Although as I say that, I'm like,
"Yeah, I don't think much about things."
Or "I have a bit of a nerd streak
and love intellectual challenges.
I score pretty high on Jeopardy!"
Well that's true.
Although I tried out.
I took the Jeopardy! online test.
Never heard back from them.
If you'd give me a chance, Jeopardy! people,
if you'd stop keeping that gate so tightly
and let your boy in, I could be on there.
I could be the next Ken Jennings, for all you know.
"How athletic are you?" Not at all.
(cameraman laughs)
"I occasionally watch exercise on TV.
Does that count?"
But you know what?
I've been getting more into it.
I've been lifting some weights, whatever.
I like to keep fit.
These answers are not really nuanced enough for me.
I'll put it in the middle because it's not my top priority,
but I'm trying to stay sort of not morbidly obese.
"Impulsiveness."
The last question.
We're so close to seeing what animal fits my personality.
You know what?
I think I'm going to have to go to the extreme.
"I'm always deliberate and cautious" and I'm being,
I'm being very deliberate as I hit my answer.
A brief pause for loading.
I'm an owl and I'm wearing the glasses, man,
which makes me look a bit more like an owl.
Dude, owl characteristics.
Eloquent, sincere, conservative.
Conservatively with the glasses.
Scientific name, Tyto Alba.
Just call me Tyto Alba.
Hey, what's your name?
Tyto Alba.
Nice to meet you.
So here are the careers and hobbies that I need to have
now that I know my scientific animal personality.
Teacher, bank manager, judge, diplomat,
and then the hobbies should be reading, debating,
chess, philosophy.
Debating?
Can you imagine Frank James debating something?
Sorry, what is my name now?
Tyto Alba?
I'm also terrible at chess.
When I was in high school, I joined the chess club
for a short period of time.
And I remember playing with this kid
and this other kid came over and it was like,
"This guy, he's so stupid," talking about me.
"He's so stupid. Just finish him.
Finish him off."
Oo, let's see who my best mates are.
The bat, the fox, another owl, or the tiger.
That is a, you know, the tiger and the owl.
It's an odd couple, but you know what?
I'll allow it.
This is awesome.
This is really inflated my ego
and given me a pat on the back.
So that's it.
I'm an owl. Call me Titus Alba.
And in the comments section, take the test.
Let me know what you got. Thanks for watching.
Once again, this video is sponsored by coffee.
'Til next time, stay cool and attractive.
If you want to own some of these cool designs
to wear on your own body, the link is in the description.
You can be wrapped in your favorite YouTube channel,
which is this one.
(light guitar music)