I define High Sensitivity as a preference to process information more
deeply, and that includes like startling easily and being more affected by
caffeine. But mostly it's that we take in stimuli and somehow, it gets used in a
different way,a more thorough way than for a non.sensitive person. So we started
out with a questionnaire measure sensitivity. But of course everybody
wants to know if this thing is real. So we have gradually been undertaking
physiological studies and mostly we've been interested in how the brain works
in sensitive people and non sensitive people. So we've been using what is
called functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging. So it's like an MRI, but you have
people doing something inside that tube. And they can't do much, but you can have
them look at something and say yes I see it or no I don't. So one of the most
interesting results we have with Highly Sensitive people during an fMRI compared
to non sensitive people is, of course, at their perceptual areas of the brain
attentional areas are lighting up more than non-sensitive people when they're
given a task that involves perception, especially of all very subtle
differences. One of the things, the findings, that I find most important is
that when we compared sensitive people and non-sensitive people on things like
neuroticism, depression, anxiety, shyness, we found yes, sensitive people were a bit
more that way. But then as soon as we separated out those with a good and bad
childhood, we found that all of the quote "neuroticism" was being contributed by the
people that had difficult childhoods. So a sensitive person with a difficult
childhood and probably other stressful events would, would have the same effect.
But with a difficult childhood, they are more prone to anxiety, depression and
shyness than a non-sensitive person with the same level of difficulty
in their life. But if you, if you look at a sensitive person with a good supportive
childhood, and just pretty much of a regular childhood, it doesn't have to be outstanding, and
compare them to a non-sensitive person they're actually less anxious and
depressed, more socially competent than the non-sensitive person with a good
upbringing. Sensitive people of course have different, are different in
relationships, because they're different in everything they do. And when it comes
to meeting people, or committing themselves after they met someone and
friendship or romantic relationship they, um . . . I don't think they always make the best
first impression. So they don't want to be in something like speed dating, where
they they just won't necessarily come off well. It's better if they meet in
some place where they gradually get to know other people, like in being in the
same course, or even in the same workplace, something like that. Then
sensitive people, as far as committing to someone, are often slow to commit. We
don't like to make decisions - we don't like to make decisions rapidly. We make
good decisions, but we find it a struggle. And sensitive people will take very
seriously a commitment and of course, I always have to remind them that doing
nothing is a decision itself. So you do have to decide eventually, and sensitive
people also often focus on the other person's flaws or drawbacks because
they're so worried about how that's going to be, but you know these are the
problems that could arise the risks involved in the relationship. But of
course we have to focus on the positive too. The problem, of course, if you're
Highly Sensitive and you're taking in all these subtleties and what happens
when there's too much coming in. And I like the analogy when my father -
when I was little, my father took me to an orange packing factory. And the way they
sort oranges into small, medium and large is they have slots and they have a
conveyor belt that kind of shakes. The oranges fall into the slots that they'll
fit into, large, medium and small. While I like insensitive people to having 15
slots, and that works fine if you don't have too many oranges coming down.
When there's a lot of oranges down the chute, they just get all jammed up,
because they can't find their slot. And sensitive people when we have too
much coming at us, we get tired or we get over aroused and over stimulated and
that has a lot of effects. One effect of being easily over stimulated or over
aroused, is that we don't perform as well under those circumstances. So a person
can rehearse and rehearse, alone for instance, for a recital and then they go
onstage and they're so over stimulated by the lights and the crowd that they
don't do as well. So let's talk about how sensitive people have to live their
lives a little differently than other people. And I think the big thing is
realizing that they can be overstimulated means more downtime more
rest. And and I say eight hours in bed whether you're asleep or not,
and at least two hours during the day in which your mind is kind of drifting. It
could be in meditation, it could be on a walk, it could be wired sweeping the
floor but it just should be that your mind is free to drift. I also think that
we do good, do well, with a day off there's completely like a full Sabbath
with nothing that, nothing but time free to sleep and relax. And I like to see
them get a week off about four times a year rather than one big vacation,
because we need time to recuperate. That's very important. Perhaps the most
important thing for me, about High Sensitivity, is that sensitive people
appreciate themselves and are appreciated by others. I'm particularly
concerned about children because so many sensitive adults will tell me that, every -
that they - either their parents didn't understand them and they were bullied
and had a really hard time. And it's just like taking away something so valuable
from the world, because of this research that shows that in a good
environment these kids have more to offer. So child rearing temperament
counseling, information that gets out to people about how to raise these children,
that seems very important to me. For adults, finding out that you're Highly
Sensitive often is just a complete turnaround in terms of reframing your
life, understanding why you made certain decisions and appreciating yourself.
And not comparing yourself so much to non-sensitive people