What’s something you’ll say here but not to people you know in real life?
I wish I wasn’t using my phone the whole day
I'm not that good at anything.
I just do enough to get by.
I come off like I'm a care free person but I'm the most paranoid person ever.
I’m terrified of drawing any attention to myself or taking risks and because of that I’m just bumbling though my life floating from one distraction to the next hoping it will get better but not actually trying to fix it
Jessica, your cakes taste like beep
Why can't someone be there for me like I'm there for them
Edit: just to make somethings clear I don't hate being an empath , I just don't like ..... or understand why don't people who say that I'm their close friend for helping them out , just couldn't ask me once that how was I doing am I alright do I need any help.
I’ve made fake scenarios in my head where my friends have died and I’m crying and remembering the fun time we had , while they are perfectly healthy.
Sometimes i feel jealous when my friends are with their other friends, i know that's not right and they're allowed to have other friends, and i feel bad about it but i can't help it
I shoved orbeez up my nose last year and they got stuck so i had to go to the hospital to get them out.
I feel like I have a roommate instead of a wife.
We just married last fall...
EDIT
I think you all deserve some clarification and backstory.
I'd also like to have the respect for my wife that she deserves to provide it.
As pointed out by a few, it was a quick marriage.
Not due to religion or wanting the sexy time.
I met her at work and it was close quarters, so we naturally became very good friends and shared stories of each other's horrible exes.
We miscarried prior to being engaged.
It tore us up but didn't tear us apart.
An amazing thing happened to me during the pregnancy; I was washed of all prior existing insecurities and overcome with a renewed drive to provide and to succeed for my family.
I was ready to step up and felt for the first time ever that I belonged where I was.
We had a covid wedding, which is to say only the essential people were present; parents, grandparents and what would have equated to a bridal party.
To be fair to her, my wife was never an overly affection girl even when we were dating.
But the few shreds of attention I received were enough to carry me
through.
Post wedding she seems neutral to my presence.
I'm not greeted when I come home from work.
When I call her she says "what?
", not "hello how are you?"
The basic beep here people.
While I'm at work she spends all her time with her bestie and they'll come back to our place with meals from restaurants and I'm not offered a portion.
I feel like an extra in her life movie.
Not even a main character.
She has a son who I love very much.
My dad thinks she married me to be a glorified babysitter and I'm leaning that way myself lately.
I treat her like a queen, I cook for her and the boy, I clean this house, I bring her meals to work on my off days.
And
I am receiving NOTHING in return.
I've been duped y'all.
I jokingly told her that she's going to "Ross Geller" me and she didn't exactly refute that point!
I'm not friendly, I'm being polite because i want you to not bother me longer than necessary.
My dick is 4 inches
That I don't have any true friends.
My "friends" are just people I kinda get on with.
I'm beep up
I’m happiest when I’m alone
I'm sick and I'm just going to get sicker.
I'm so scared.
My mother is going through it and i have to go through the same thing and I don't want to.
I want help.
No I’m not ok, I‘m just really good at hiding it
i’m just going through the motions.
i do all my assignments, i go to all my classes, i do everything i need to do, i just struggle to feel anything about it.
i have to force myself to feel things sometimes, and i worry that my lack of feeling isn’t enough for my partner, and i worry about myself too, because i wasn’t always like this.
i don’t know what happened.
edit: thank you all, i really appreciate the support.
to the people telling me to go to therapy, i will as soon as i have time (which at this point will be summer, i guess).
to the people who told me to try drugs/alcohol, i appreciate the sentiment but no thank you (i legally can’t drink anyway).
i also wanted to add that i have
lately been helping myself release emotions and just feel things (with a possibly odd technique but hey, it works) and i think it’s helping.
thank y’all so much!
I feel like a failure at life.
I was one of the smartest kids in class, and most likely to succeed.
After a failed attempt at college, I spent the greater part of a decade doing basically nothing, to the point that I lost contact with lifelong friends (who I've yet to reconnect with).
It's only now that I basically forced myself to move out of my mom's house that I am picking myself up piece by piece and doing something with myself.
Related: I am deathly afraid of having to move back in with my mom because I feel I'll fall back to that old habit of doing nothing.
I love my mom, but I think I'd break her heart if I even insinuated that environment is part of the reason I feel like I do.
EDIT: THANK YOU so much for all your support and advice.
I honestly did not expect so many people to relate to my story.
You're all awesome!
I'm definitely going to work towards improving myself and my situation.
Also, I believe I can contact some of my old friends through Facebook (I know, I know.
But still...).
Again, thank you so much.
You don't know how much this means to me.
The thought of having to work a job the rest of my life depresses the beep out of me.
I can’t believe that this is the reality for me and most humans and there’s no way to escape it from it.
I got some bubble wrap, you like bubble wrap?
>!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!<
>!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!< >!POP!<
I will not attend your funeral.
“I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere.
Even with you.”
I wanna tell my best friend this so much but I feel like it would crush her.
We love each other to bits, but it’s like....
I always feel 2nd rate to her other friends.
It’s been the same with all my friends over the years, to the point where I just slowly withdraw because the anxiety of “not living up to the friendship” gets the better of me.
I’m going to end up with nobody in my life except for family, and all the people I’ve lost over the years will think I don’t like them when it’s not that.
It’s the fact I look up to them, and could never live up to what I feel I should be as a friend.
Well beep I’m at work and crying.
EDIT: You people are absolutely beautiful humans.
I saw the question and this is the first thing came to mind so i just thought, huh why not, nobody will read it anyway and its all just usernames.
And holy moly 8 hours later my most upvoted and awarded comment ever is one that has helped me in a way I don’t even know yet.
And that’s on you guys.
I hope at least some of you have found something in this thread to maybe hold on to as well.
Again, you’re all amazing I love you all.
I generally try to make it a rule to not say anything to someone on the internet that I wouldn't say to someone irl.
People on the internet are still real even if you can't see them.
I feel like I'm socially awkward and get anxious in large groups of people I don't know.
I wish people understood this instead of calling me 'boring, shy and quiet.'
All the bad things you thought about me were exactly correct.
I’m lazy, procrastinate, and am overall a bum.
Yes, I have an okay job and do my best yet I’m nowhere near the level I should be at.
I disappoint myself and I don’t need yours as well to pile on.
Still happy though, which is weird lol.
I know what I am to everyone.
An afterthought or something to use when needed and then discarded.
I am not oblivious to what is said about me or what happens when I am not around.
And it makes my heart ache because there was once a time that I felt surrounded by love.
And the only time I have been touched at all in the last couple of years was a hug from my ex because our animals had died.
I was raped when I was a kid.
**— EDIT!
Hi everyone.
I just wanted to say that I’ve being overwhelmed by the response I got on here.
I’ve had Redditors of all sorts extend their condolences, shared their own personal stories, and even have taken time to offer advice on the matter.
I appreciate each and every one of you.
To shed a little more context on my story, I am male and it happened over the course of a few months to a year.
And it happened during a time which I was less than 10 years old.
And it was inflicted by a male family member who was also
underage.
I won’t go into further explicit detail, but it was and still is beep up.
Unfortunately in life there are things better left unsaid.
Even to my Psychologist which I do have.
It’s the reason why I decided to share this on a post regarding “Something you wouldn’t share in real life but will online.” This has come under that category and I just felt like sharing.
Anyways.
I think I’ll leave this up for a day and remove.
But I just wanted to thank you all again for the kind words.
You guys and girls are awesome.
I never beep your mom, it was a joke.
Edit: sike beep you thought
I wish I was taught to have boundaries and to say “no”.
It’s annoying I’m discovering this so late in life.
Oh and not to be a people pleaser.
Almost nothing.
I don't like using my voice in real life, and I'm afraid of posting stuff on social media.
It took a lot of courage to post this, thank you to whoever decided to read this.
That I am not coping as well as it seems.
This past few years have been hard.
I don't like people to worry so I keep a lot to myself.
I "just keep swimming"lol.
EDIT...thanks for adding to this guys.
There are a lot of us aren't there?
I know I am at the crossroads and I need to decide which path to go.
Damn I do not like mental illness!
Bless you all for caring.
I will be fine...Thanks for the award!!
!
I can't play through games blind anymore, I need to have a walkthrough/map open.
The reason I have bags under my eyes are because I’m a drug addict, I’m not just tired.
Although the drugs do beep with my sleep
Being nice all the time is beep
I honestly from the bottom of my heart, sincerely don't give a beep
Almost everything that I’ve commented.
The reason why I found reddit appealing is the anonymity, and there are tons of things I want to talk about that I can’t irl.
However, it is not something devastating if someone found my account.
I will probably delete this account soon though.
Once I get a stable job, move out and get financially stable, I plan on cutting contact with my family.
They are just too toxic to deal with.
I’m set to inherit a sizable amount of cash in my parent’s will but if I cut contact with them and they decide to cut me out of the will, than that’s alright with me at this point.
Honestly...the only people I hide my opinions from are coworkers because...we have to all work together.
Otherwise my online personality is me...I just say things more blatantly online.
I still speak my truth in person but it might be more guarded or soft-balled.
I have a very bad feeling I am purposely faking depression and that im just an idiot looking for attention
I wish I could say "I don't find you interesting at all.
I don't hate you but I also don't want anything to do with you.
Let's never speak again"
Lily I left the group because I have feelings for you.
Teach your kids not to sneeze and cough all over things.
Even if we weren't in the middle of a pandemic it's disgusting!
That i was abusive to my ex wife.
I am narcissistic and obsessively controlling.
I even had a mental breakdown when confronted, when i threatened her and our dogs.
And apparently this has happened several times i just can't or don't want to remember.
I still struggle to remember the threats, but i do remember almost every disagreement going my way, as my "logic" was always more important than her feelings.
I invalidated her emotions and dictated our life, because I was so terrified of change.
I have told my family and a few friends the cliff notes version, but it's difficult to admit what i did over and over.
And due to a disassociative disorder i can't remember most of what i did at any given moment.
I have framed the letter she sent me outlining my actions, in an attempt to keep my actions in mind, keeping me from ever doing that to anyone else.
I also plan on a tattoo when covid restrictions allow.
Edit: I also think it is important to keep my actions on a public medium, so can never sweep it away and pretend i am perfect
again.
Edit 2: for the curious/concerned the tattoo just says "every villain was the hero of their own story" just to remind me to consider other perspectives when I make my justifications.
Edit 3: for anyone reading thinking they can talk someone they know to the revelation i came to, it doesn't matter if they do or don't.
Make yourself safe and happy first BEFORE you attempt to "fix" them, if they care about you they will be happy you are safe and happy, if they take it as a personal attack (as i did at first) then you know where you are in their priorities and should evaluate your relationship accordingly.
Edit 4: No, i am not undergoing therapy yet.
I am on a waiting list for therapy.
After consideration.
No, I will not request NPD specialist therapy yet, as I have not been diagnosed with Narcissistic personality disorder, but I will discuss it with my Doctor after the bank holiday, as I do believe I have it.
But i am unsure if it can be diagnosed over the phone, so it may have to wait until in-person appointments restart.
In real life, I never let on that I am not OK.
I have perfected smiling and being bubbly when in reality I am dead inside.
On here, I'm not really afraid of telling people that my life is a massive mess.
I was raped by my "best" friend as a kid.
Although it goes against the posts question, I had a mental breakdown and told my family and they called me a liar and didn't believe me, which has admittedly worsened my mental state
I want to have an actual conversation about life with someone.
About the stars, about a weird story for a movie I have in my head.
Not about the same mundane stuff everytime we talk to each other
Suicidal stuff.
I'd rather be a girl ngl
I don't know you.
I think I’m horny 24/7.
May your day be filled with joy and happiness.
And please remember to like, share, and subscribe for more quality content everyday.