Hey, actually, I was talking
about you last night.
You can fool a fool,
but you can't fool a wise man.
-Yes, sir. -You're the real thing.
I try.
[ Mid-tempo hip-hop plays ]
♪♪
Say, boss, this is some good sage
you got.
This is "The Kevin Gates Helpline."
I'm Kevin Gates.
I'm accompanied by Boobie Black.
And what we're gonna be doing today
is taking calls
from people all over the world.
We're gonna be aiding, assisting,
lending wisdom,
knowledge, and love
to help you through whatever
hardships
that they may be encountering.
Let me go piss right fast.
♪♪
Hey, look. I got this man's face
tattooed on me how many times?
Twice.
That's honor.
And I wear it like a badge of honor.
Boo, what we got
on the line, bro?
Oh, man, let me check
through my texts
and see what's happening.
Oh, man. We got Gerard from
Colorado.
Put him in.
Gerard, you're on the phone with
Kevin Gates and Boo-Boo.
What's happening, baby?
What's happening with you,
Gerard? What the business is?
What up?
It's, like, really loud on your --
I hear, like, a lot of static.
Mnh-mnh. That's me
lighting up this cigar.
-You hear? -[ Laughs ] Word,
word, word.
Word. Anyway, yeah.
I'm a college student, right?
Last semester, I, uh, met this chick.
Then she seemed to be, like, way more
invested in it than I was.
She dick-notized.
Yeah.
[ Chuckles ]
[ Laughs ]
One time, I, like, hung out with her,
and she saw, like, remnants
of, like, a hickey or whatever
and flipped out.
And so I would just, like, say things.
And I was like, "Let's, you know,
only see each other," or whatever.
And then that just kind of snowballed
into a relationship.
And then,
towards the end of the semester,
I, uh -- it kind of happened
where I, uh, hooked up with someone else,
and I feel really shitty about it
and no one knows about it.
It don't matter how great of a
person she is to you.
It matters how great of a person
she is for you.
-Right. -So if you're in
a relationship
and you trying to make the other person happy,
that's insanity,
because you're an appeaser now.
You're appeasing her.
You're telling her what she wants
to hear.
I believe the best thing you could
do is tell this person,
"Hey, I really like you as a person,
but this is what's going on.
I need to make myself happy
before I can make anyone else happy."
You know, you got to let her
know you're a big player, man.
You know what I'm
-saying? -Yeah.
-Hell yeah, brother. -[ Laughs ]
But it's more like -- like I'm the huge pussy
and, like, I can't say no.
No, you're not.
-No, you're not. -You're not a pussy.
You're not a pussy.
You just got a big heart and you give a fuck
and you don't like to hurt other
people.
That's all.
That's not you being a pussy.
It's difficult because, like,
I feel shitty
about myself for doing that.
Stop feeling shitty about yourself.
We just gave you the blueprint.
You use that blueprint
and you're gonna make it.
-It's not that hard, -Yeah,
-Gerard. - that's true.
Blessings on your journey, baby.
-Yo, blessings. -Thank you, thank you.
Yes, sir.
All right, all right, all right.
It seemed like Gerard
want to be a player.
A big player.
But I don't think he
can handle that foreign.
That passport get stamped in
all type of different countries.
She out the country with it.
It's hard.
Somebody might be stamping
that passport right now.
[ Laughs ] Yeah.
I like him, though. He cool, bro.
-Yes indeed. -I like him.
I live in Colorado.
I moved here, you know?
So he going state to state.
She just going country to country.
You heard? -Yeah, you moved here.
-She grew here. -Grew here.
You know what I'm saying?
-You new here. -He flew here,
he new here.
[ Both laugh ]
♪♪
Hey, you know I got
one of these tattooed on my leg?
Yeah.
I love these
-little things. -Mm-hmm.
Man, who out there?
Oh, we got Jennifer from South Carolina.
You know what
I'm saying? S.S.
-Oh, yes, Lord. -S.C.
-S.C. in this bitch. -Yes indeed.
Shit. Yeah. Put me out there.
[ Dial tone ]
What's happening, Jennifer?
You're on the phone with Kevin and Boobie.
-All right.
So, I am a millennial mom, born
in '81, and I have two kids.
I have a boy who's 15. I have a girl who's 13.
And they are both obsessed
with, like, social media,
technology,
and all these new words.
And so I can no longer
really, uh, speak to them.
And then when I try to, I sound very uncool.
So help me talk to them.
Help me figure them out.
Why don't y'all have a time
where y'all get off social media
and have family time
and really establish that bond?
Right. And we do some of that.
Like, we play Cards Against Humanity
because that's the only place
where they can say cuss words.
And, so, like, I pick out
the really, really bad cards,
but I leave all the ones with the bad
words, and so...
[ High-pitched squeal, voice fading ]
I just want to be able to also speak
their language.
There was that "yeet" thing,
and now if I look nice, it's "that drip."
But my son says that
to me, and I think I'm wet.
It depends on what
context it's used in.
It could mean that, but it could also
mean something else.
Yeah. It can mean a
lot of things, really, yeah.
-Yes, ma'am. -What else does
drip mean?
I mean, we not about to get into all that,
because different things mean
different things other places.
-I'm here to learn. -Yes, ma'am.
But you ought to learn from the person
that's speaking the language.
Right, right.
Mizze done tizzold but I'm about
as izzold as them.
You know,
on the phizzone with the thizzang,
but I'm still thizzinking
abizzout what you tizzold me.
You hizzeard me?
I speak seven different languages.
Oh.
-Yeah. -Well...
And that's all it is.
It's communication with your
children, just asking them,
"Hey, you know, I'm not really hip
to a lot of the new words
that's going on.
Could y'all teach me?"
And it's beautiful, because it'll be fun,
because you're learning
and you're
allowing them to be the teachers.
Because our children
are our greatest teachers.
I hope we answered your question.
Oh, yes. Thank you.
I love the thought of them
having multiple languages.
That hadn't occurred to me.
I think we're all speaking English.
We're not.
Yes.
But blessings on your journey,
Miss Jennifer.
Thank you so much, both of you.
Y'all have a fabulous day.
She wanted us to teach her
how to really go to the hood.
Yeah, but it was beautiful for
me because I got to use sarcasm,
and that's something I haven't
displayed on the show just yet.
I got to use sarcasm. I got to be witty.
♪♪
How do you feel?
How do I feel?
Some things can't be
expressed in language.
I'm one with my environment
right now.
Who we got next?
Nicky from California.
Little Nicky!
Yeah, little Nicky.
-♪ I knew a girl named Nikki ♪
You remember Prince
made that song?
[ Both laugh ]
-Well, put her in. -Put her in.
Nicky, what's happening?
You're on the phone with
Kevin and Boobie.
Okay. It's on.
So, what I wanted to talk about today
um, is the issue of schadenfreude.
Have you heard this word?
'Cause I just learned it a month ago.
No, I haven't heard it.
-Could you expound? -Yeah.
So, schadenfreude
basically describes the emotion
of when you feel joy
at someone else's misfortune
or, on the other hand, feeling sad
when others around you succeed.
Wow.
In my day, we used to
call it being a hater.
-Hater. A big ol' hater. -Don't be a hater.
I really think that we
all experience this emotion
on some level no matter what.
Ma'am, speak for yourself.
I -- Well, I am, I guess.
I thought it would be interesting
to, like, talk to
a celebrity, especially, about this,
because I think that you guys
are on the receiving end
of schadenfreude a lot.
There's a lot of people
that I feel like, you know,
waiting for celebrities
to drop the ball or fail in some way,
so that way, we can be like, "Ha ha!"
They have people doing that
even when you're not a celebrity.
-Right.
So it's not the celebrity thing that --
I think I was in prison.
I was nominated for the Grammys.
And I saw Drake
get like 13 or 14 awards or something.
I was like, "Man. Wow.
Like, one day -- one day,
I'm gonna get 13 or 14 Gram--"
It was like that's how I look at it.
Like, "One day, I'm --
One day, that's gonna be me."
You think it's where we come from?
Because yesterday,
when I seen your truck --
"Man, his truck's so cold-blooded.
Man, I'm happy for him.
I can't wait to see him."
It's like, you know,
putting that little toy character
in a toy truck
and push him down the street.
I'm happy -- you know
what I'm saying? -- as a kid.
Where we come from, it's different.
Like, when we see somebody
in our section doing good,
it's like we salute it,
like, 'cause we know
what you went through to get it.
Well, I want to be like you
when I grow up.
It's not that.
You know, when you change
your perspective,
that's when miracles happen.
When I feel that emotion,
like, the next thing you're feeling is shame.
Then it turns into this cycle
of, like, beating yourself up.
You're like, "Man, what's wrong with me?
Why am I so insecure? What the hell?"
It's a beautiful thing
that you have the ability
to see negative behavior
and correct it.
But that's just an old
programming
that you just need to get rid of.
Well, there you go, I guess.
Like, there's the wisdom.
-Thank you so much. -Thank you.
-All right, baby. -All right.
I think she was trying
to put us in a trap.
I think she was really trying to --
'Cause she kept saying,
"Now that I'm talking to a celebrity."
Why is it the word "celebrity"
you're constantly using?
She might have came with the
wrong intentions,
but she left with the right ones.
That's why I got this
cigar in my hand.
I'm gonna take
everything in and I'm gonna --
But Nicky got something.
Nicky got something from us.
Yeah, she did.
'Cause you heard what she said.
When you said, "Yeah, that just
look like a hater,"
she said, "I figured it was gonna
be something like that."
You got what you was looking for
but not what you was expecting.
[ Laughs ]
♪♪
I mean, today was like a --
It was like a-a bag of roaches.
It was everywhere.
You know what I'm saying?
So we could basically somewhat dislike
what directly happened today.
We just knew it was just
all type of different people
coming from all type of different areas.
It was, like, really a challenge
for me and Kevin today.
You know what I'm saying?
But I think we handled it well.
-It was fly, 'cause I -- -Yeah, it was real fly.
For me, I say it was fly
because I got to display
different types of emotions
that people don't normally get to see.
-They don't get to see - -That sarcastic.
They don't get to see my sarcasm.
They don't get to see me being witty.
But it's cool. You
know, we live through life and we learn.
Like the dude said -- Like Sonny said,
I know I'm funny, but I'm not that funny.
Yeah, I'm not that funny,
so why are you laughing?
I want to thank everybody
for watching "The Kevin Gates
Helpline."
I'm Kevin Gates.
This is O.G. Boobie Black.
And if you need help with any of your issues,
follow the details below.
And let me leave you with this.
You'll be amazed
what you can get people to agree to
if you just ask.
For real.
[ Laughing ] For real.
My -- I'm just --
Never mind me. Whoo!
[ Laughs ]
♪♪
Never mind me. I'm in my own world.
Let me do it to this camera again.
Sure.
'Cause my wheels,
I just get to thinking about all the shit.
I'm in my own world. Never mind me.