We’re all familiar with the term “opposites attract”, but it’s not a golden rule.
Some research suggests that we’re a lot more likely to date people just like ourselves.
“Positive assortative mating” is the scientific term for ending up with and–well–mating
with a partner who mirrors your traits.
It can be quite literal: one study found that we’re more likely to pair up with those
who have similar facial features and are of a similar height.
Other studies have found we tend to like partners with a similar level of body fat and online
daters prefer those of their own race.
And those with bipolar disorder or major depression are more likely to choose a partner with a
similar disorder.
But, it’s not always the case.
In the famous “sweaty t-shirt study” women were asked to smell a t-shirt men wore for
two days–without deodorant.
The women indicated that they preferred the scent of the men whose immune response genes
were different from their own.
In this study, opposites did attract.
And similarly, same-sex couples are least likely to resemble one another compared to
couples of different sexes.
But decades of research shows we have a lot of different preferences.
So why do you fall in love with one person and not another?
Recent research suggests our partner preference could come down to our brain chemistry.
In one study, those with higher dopamine levels—think explorers who are sensation seeking and independent—were
more likely to be attracted to people similar to themselves.
Those with higher serotonin levels—think calm and controlled—were more likely to
pick similar partners too.
But men with high testosterone levels—competitive and decisive—were likely to be drawn to
women with high estrogen levels.
And vice versa.
We can’t say either way that opposites do attract or birds of the feather really flock
together.
It comes down having good chemistry, and that’s different for every couple.
Beauty really is in the brain of the beholder.
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