so there's something that's been bothering me for quite a while and I can't stay quiet anymore so
we're gonna talk about it in this video we are Charity Ben Dakota and Trinity we decided we
didn't want to wait for a life of adventure so in 2017 we bought our first RV and set off to live a
life of travel in the USA we've visited over 38 states in three years and have many more to go
follow along to learn all the best places to see RV and travel tips and much more
so there is something that has been bothering me for quite a while about RV life and just with
being in the RV community and I am really tired of pretending that this doesn't exist so as you watch
today's video please leave me a comment below let me know if maybe you've noticed some of the same
things or just what your thoughts are on everything we're gonna talk about today but
just drop me a comment let me know what you're thinking so here it goes have you noticed that on
youtube or in series about RV living or independently produced films about RV life
that the RV life is like this glamorized lifestyle and it's just this magical thing of
every day is a new adventure and the RV life is just going to solve any problem that you might
have you just need to get an RV and hit the road and life will just be amazing from here on out and
let me just say that we've walked through enough RV parks and RV campgrounds and we've heard enough
families talking back and forth and husbands and wives talking back and forth to each other to know
that RV life didn't fix their family dynamics or whatever dysfunction was there before that
they hit the road it's still there so in this video I'm going to talk about why that it is
so important that if you plan on jumping into this lifestyle whether it's full-time or part-time that
it's important to get some things set straight up front so that when you hit the road you can really
enjoy the journey of RV living so number one rv life is not going to fix your marriage or
your relationship with your significant other now I need to tell you a little story here
when ben and I first got married we took a honeymoon a year late to Hawaii paradise one of
the most beautiful places on the planet to be able to go relax have fun have an adventure together
and we were young we were immature we did not know how to be happily related to ourselves
or how to be happily related to each other in because we had two dysfunctional people
coming into something like a marriage and then traveling together there are some stresses and
things that come along with traveling and when you throw two people that aren't healthy themselves
into that situation well let's just say it was a small disaster we look back on that time that
we had in Hawaii together and we don't have like the best memories right we have a few memories and
oh by the way the facebook posts and the instagram posts they look pretty good smiles paradise right
because we're always going to put our best foot forward when it comes to social media we're not
going to talk about the behind the scenes stuff the fighting the crying well me crying because
that saying of hurting people hurt people is true and we spent that whole trip speaking harsh words
and arguing and not getting along in the memories we had from that time were not
the best memories in fact we talk frequently about how we need a do-over because we were two
young immature people that did not use any sort of emotional intelligence whatsoever
and then you go to try to travel and let's just say all of those issues that you might have
just get expanded and so if you're setting out to live RV life thinking that
this is gonna fix my marriage this is going to give us more time together and then
we'll be able to somehow be more happily related to each other not so much we spent years
with doing marriage mentoring marriage counseling marriage seminars and we still have mentors that
we can call up whenever we need and run things by them or talk things through with them that
help to keep our marriage healthy and so now as we move forward and we encounter problems because
you will encounter problems as you're going down the road and how you work together or don't work
together as a married couple or as a couple that is together is going to make a difference on those
memories that you make be it good or be it bad so misconception number two RV life isn't going
to fix your family or fix your family relations or necessarily make you a better parent just because
that you're living life on the road people think well if we're all in super close quarters right
we're gonna have to figure this thing out we are not gonna have a choice but to figure out how to
get along better because we're all gonna be living on top of each other and let me just say it's not
going to fix that until that you yourself remember that saying put your oxygen mask on first it's
very true when it comes to parenting until that we become healthy emotionally we are not going to be
able to raise healthy emotional kids until that we've learned that first thing ourselves so just
because you're spending more time together doesn't mean that that time that you're spending together
is going to necessarily be quality or productive or relationship building or building connection
until that you've come to that place where you're able to function as a happy healthy family unit
one of the things that totally changed the game for us when it came to parenting and understanding
our kids was a concept called inner kinetics and that's basically just understanding how
each of our kids is hardwired and what makes them tick and being able to work with those internal
hardwirings of how that they've been designed to be able to understand what it was that motivated
our kids or didn't motivate our kids and how to really call out those strengths that they have
to become who that it is that they are created to be and so until that you get that dynamic
RV life isn't going to necessarily be the funnest lifestyle that you've ever lived because it will
expand any issues that are there and it's not that we get this right 100 of the time now not
even close but we're learning and we're learning what builds connection and what breaks connection
and when we do things that we know I've broken connection with my kid to go back and to own that
mistake and say you know what honey what I did was wrong mommy was wrong daddy was wrong what
i should have done was this what I should have said was this I'm still learning will you forgive
me and moving forward together and repairing those connections along the way and until that you come
to the place where you can do that RV life isn't going to really build those family connections
it can actually hurt those family connections so I'll put some resources in the description below
of some books in some parenting classes that we've done that have really helped us move forward
with our family connections that hopefully maybe would be a resource for you as well misconception
number three or maybe untruth number three RV life will fix your finances you can live way
cheaper when you're living the RV life and you don't have a mortgage or a utility bill or all of
these other things that go along with the sticks and bricks house and you're going to be able to
save all this money and it's just going to fix any financial problems that you might have right wrong
personal finance is so much more than math right if it was just math nobody would be in debt
nobody would have any financial issues if it was really just about the math right it's more about
personal habits and what you choose to do are you a spender are you a saver all of those things
factor into it and RV life's not going to change that the saying of wherever you go there you are
well you take you with you into RV life and whatever financial habits you did or did not have
before that you started living RV life is going to come with you into RV living and so if you are not
somebody that has lived on a budget or that has lived on less than you've made or been particular
when it comes to personal finance well that's not going to change just because you moved into an RV
those are things that have to be developed those are habits that have to be learned
it can take retraining of your brain and it takes some discipline if that's not something
that you already have before you begin this lifestyle one resource that has really helped
us with personal finance over the years before we even started RV living was dave Ramsey's financial
peace university and we'll put a link in the description below with some information about that
and we're not affiliates we don't gain anything by referring people to this resource other than
just the satisfaction knowing that maybe we were able to point somebody else in the right direction
to be able to learn healthy money habits and how to win with money the other thing I want to say
is to remember the videos are edited people all the videos are edited the tv shows are edited
the social media is the best foot forward they're all edited no content creator that is
making videos about living the RV life is going to put in that fight that they had with their
spouse necessarily or that time that they were yelling at their kids like it is edited remember
you are watching something that is edited our videos are edited we don't put those things in
however I will say being a content creator has really held us to accountability because
we edit out those things but we're still seeing them when we sit down and we start to go through
footage to put a video together we see those times where we were short with each other
as husband and wife or that time where we said something to our kids that we shouldn't have said
and that gives us the opportunity to look and say whoa reality check I still have some growing to do
I still have some areas in my life that I am not healthy and that I need to get healing with
to be able to move forward in a healthy manner with these relationships in my life so as you
watch the travel vlogs as you watch the other YouTubers that are RV living or whatever it is
that you're consuming from a content perspective remember it's edited this is not perfect this is
not like a perfect lifestyle that solves all of the problems and all of the challenges just
magically disappear and oh that flat tire yes we just worked through that beautifully
or the awning that just flew off well yes we came together and we fixed that problem
just you know side by side it's not always the case you're watching something that is edited
and so just remember that as you consume this content and don't get into the comparison game
do not say oh well they've got it all together and look at me nobody's got it all together we're all
learning we're all growing together and one of the best favors that we can do those around us
is to be authentic and real with where we're at so maybe you're wondering what is the whole point
what's the whole point of this video the point is this if you're getting ready to hit the road or to
live RV life get healthy now there is no shame in marriage mentoring or marriage counseling or
therapy or whatever you need to become the healthiest version of you we still
do marriage mentoring we still do marriage seminars and different events and read books about
parenting and marriage and relationship because we want to continue to grow in our skill set of
how to be happily related not only with ourselves but then with each other and with our kids and so
many families set off to live the RV life saying we just want to make memories together but what
if those memories are actually those memories where they're going to be discussed on some
sort of therapist's couch 10 years from now it's not exactly the type of memories that you want
to look back on having made so get healthy avail yourself of whatever resources that you need to
become the best version of you and let's all move forward together living the RV life in a way where
we're supporting our marriages we're supporting our children and we're becoming more productive
members of society for having lived this lifestyle thank you for taking the time to watch this video
it's a little bit different from the norm so thanks for hanging in there and sticking with us
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level as well so thanks so much for watching and until next time we'll see on the road