Healthy relationships are one of the best things in the world!
They lift us up, challenge us, support us, and make us feel like we're superhuman!
Nothing can get us down when we're in a good relationship,
especially ones that are just beginning.
But if you're in the beginning stages of getting to know someone, how can you tell if it really is healthy?
Often we get so wrapped up in ourselves that we don't see when relationships are unhealthy. It might seem like a far away
"it'll never happen to us" thing,
but unhealthy
relationships are more common than you would think and sometimes sneak up on you. If you suspect you might be in an unhealthy relationship,
listen on and see if any of these match up to you and your beau
1. You fight a lot
No, we don't mean arguing over who has to clean up after you've both cooked dinner.
We're talking about yelling, threatening and screaming at each other.
If you two are getting into screaming matches over every little disagreement, you need to rethink why you two are together in the first place.
2. You hide things. And we don't mean candy or Easter eggs,
we mean things like texting other people,
lying about where you were or other dishonest actions. If your partner will get mad at you for texting your best friend forever or
Going out with friends instead of staying home with them, you might just be in an unhealthy relationship.
3. This way or the highway. If your relationship
always revolves around how the other person wants to do things or how you want to do things, you're not in a good relationship.
Partnerships involve being partners!
This means you need to compromise,
listen and discuss before actions are taken. If it's always one person's way, you two need to sit down and sort it out before resentment
and anger starts to breed.
4. You feel guilty
This one's a little harder to pin down. Your partner might not even be aware that you're feeling this way.
Heck, you might not even be aware that you're feeling this way.
If you get worried about taking time for yourself, or if you feel that you're not allowed to- address it with your partner.
It might be a miscommunication, or it might be a clue that your relationship isn't as healthy as you think.
5. It's one-sided
So much of relationships is about sharing your burdens. When you're in a relationship,
you get someone to lean on, talk about problems with and help to deal with your struggles and vice-versa.
You need to make sure you're available to be a support system for your partner,
letting them lean on you when they need to. If the relationship is based on one person or the other,
it's not a real relationship. It's just taking advantage of someone.
6. They put you down
We don't mean physically; we mean that they put down your hopes and don't support you and your dreams.
You need someone just as brilliant as you are! Someone who will help you achieve your goals
or at least cheer you along the way while you strive for them yourself.
Any partner that says your goals are "stupid" is NOT a partner you want to have. Get out, quick.
7. They refuse to do things that matter to you
If you've said three times that you hate when the dishes sit in the sink for days on end
and your partner still doesn't change their slovenly ways, you need to get out.
They clearly don't respect you as much as you respect them.
If they did, they would listen to your concerns and make an effort to do the things that matter the most to you.
8. You're codependent
This one's a little trickier to identify. If you and your partner can't live without talking to each other every minute of every day,
you need to reevaluate your priorities. Your relationship should be a happy addition to your life!
9. They make you feel insecure
Your significant other should make you feel like you're the greatest thing in the world!
Why? Because you are!
You're an intelligent, hard-working individual who respects yourself. And if your partner isn't respecting you, you need to leave them.
They aren't healthy for you and you deserve better.
If you feel insecure in any way, get yourself out... You're in an unhealthy relationship, and you'll be much happier without them.
10. They're abusive. It seems obvious, but sometimes people in relationships can't see what's actually going on.
They justify their partner's actions or take the blame on themselves.
Don't! If your partner is verbally, physically or sexually
abusive,
you need to get help and get out. If you aren't sure how or if you need help,
Talk to a counselor, a doctor or someone else you trust- they'll be able to get you the resources
you need to take care of yourself.
11. You change yourself to be what they want. This is a subtle sign of an unhealthy relationship
but should be a big red flag. If your partner says I like blondes and you go out and dye your hair,
It means your partner doesn't actually want to be with you,
they want to be with their ideas. Find someone who loves you for YOU! And then you'll know you're in a healthy relationship.
12. You're unhappy
The biggest sign of being in an unhealthy relationship is when you're unhappy.
A relationship is meant to be a positive experience.
You're supposed to look forward to seeing your partner- not dread or stress about fitting them into your schedule.
Let the relationship go and you'll feel much happier.
Trust us. No relationship is better than an unhealthy relationship.
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