[NEWS FLASH SOUND ALERT]
ANNOUNCER: We take you now to Kermit the Frog with another
fast-breaking news story.
KERMIT: I think we're talking about an old woman
who lives in a shoe.
Maybe we could start off with a little "sole" music
[SNICKERS].
Oh, [CLEARS THROAT]
hi-ho, Kermit the Frog here, speaking to you from Wardrobe
Street where today we're going to interview the famous old
woman who lives in a shoe.
I'm sure you all know the poem, "There was an old woman
who lived in a shoe, she had so many children, she didn't
know what to do." Hm?
Well, we're just going to step up to the door here and
see if she's in.
[KNOCKS ON DOOR]
YOUNG MAN: Didn't I tell you yesterday I don't want any
encyclopedias?
KERMIT: Oh, no.
You don't understand.
I'm Kermit the Frog of Sesame Street News.
Tell me, is the old woman in?
YOUNG MAN: What old woman?
KERMIT: The old woman who lives in a shoe.
YOUNG MAN: Are you kidding?
Does this look like a shoe to you?
Ever see a shoe with fingers?
Four fingers and a thumb.
KERMIT: I see.
Yes, it does sort of look a little bit more like a glove,
doesn't it?
YOUNG MAN: Exactly.
KERMIT: Well, who are you?
YOUNG MAN: I'm the young man who lives in a glove.
KERMIT: Figures.
YOUNG MAN: You know the poem about me, don't you?
KERMIT: Well, not offhand.
A little joke there, folks.
YOUNG MAN: Well, anyway the poem goes like this, "There
was a young man who lived in a glove, if you knocked on his
door, he'd give you a shove." Now, scram, frog.
KERMIT: Hey, don't.
YOUNG MAN: Keep moving.
Buzz off!
KERMIT: Don't wrinkle the coat, OK!
No need to get physical about it.
I'll just--
[BARKS]
[MEOW]
KERMIT: --knock on this door over here.
[KNOCKS ON DOOR]
]BARKS]
KERMIT: Gee, that doesn't sound like too many children.
That sounds like too many pets.
[MEOW]
YOUNG WOMAN: Yes?
KERMIT: Kermit the Frog of Sesame Street News.
I was wondering, are you the woman who lives in a shoe?
YOUNG WOMAN: Boy, have you got the wrong place.
Now, does this look like a shoe to you?
KERMIT: Wow, oh, I see.
Yes, indeed.
Why, I see it's got a crown there and a brim them down
here and a hatband--
YOUNG WOMAN: --hatband.
KERMIT: --across there.
Then you must be--
YOUNG WOMAN: That's right.
I'm the young woman who lives in a hat.
KERMIT: --in a hat.
YOUNG WOMAN: Don't you know the poem about me?
KERMIT: Well, not right off the top of my head.
Another joke there, folks.
YOUNG WOMAN: I see your point.
Well, anyway, "There was a young woman
who lived in a hat.
She could bark like a dog and meow like a cat." [BARKS]
[MEOWS]
KERMIT: That's wonderful.
Down, girl.
Can you tell me where I can find the old woman who lives
in a shoe, though?
YOUNG WOMAN: Oh, yes.
She lives down at the next house down there.
KERMIT: OK, thanks a lot.
[BARKS]
KERMIT: Yes, fine.
[MEOWS]
KERMIT: Down, down, boy.
Bye, bye.
Wow.
Hey, now, this is a little more like it.
I think, indeed, this does, indeed, look like a shoe.
It looks like about a size 59 triple E, I would say.
You could tell that's a shoe.
It's got a toe up there, has a nice shine on it.
It's got a heel down here and a place up
there to put the laces.
I'll just knock on the door and see if she's in.
[KNOCKS ON DOOR]
GIRL: Hey, Frankie!
FRANKIE: Hey, it's a frog.
KERMIT: Oh, hi, there.
Is your mother home?
GIRL: Hey, Ma!
FRANKIE: Hey, Ma!
OLD WOMAN: Yes, yes?
KERMIT: Hi, there.
Are you "the old woman who lived in a shoe, who had so
many children, she didn't know what to do"?
OLD WOMAN: That's right, sonny.
KERMIT: Oh, wonderful.
I'm Kermit the Frog from Sesame Street News.
OLD WOMAN: Oh, terrific.
I'm so glad you dropped by.
This is my night for the Gray Panthers Bowling League.
Hey, would you look after the kids until I get back?
OK, now, listen.
Heather and Johnny, don't fight.
Brian, Lisa and Cheryl, don't look at too much TV.
And Polly and Kate, go to bed when the frog tells you.
KERMIT: But, listen, I--
OLD WOMAN: I'll be back in about two hours.
Wish me luck.
It's a 300 night.
KERMIT: But I wanted to ask you some questions, ma'am.
I'm just trying to do an interview.
[KIDS YELLING ALL AT ONCE]
KERMIT: What do I do now?
But there's so many children here, I don't know what to do.
Will you let go of the microphone now?
Come on.
This is Kermit the Frog returning you to your program.
[KIDS YELLING ALL AT ONCE]