Translator: Marina Ivanovic Reviewer: Nada Alshammari
I want to introduce you to my two little cousins:
Alex and Alayna.
Here's Alex, all wide-eyed,
probably because the Bears actually won a game. (Laughter)
And, then, here is Alayna,
in her little pink outfit.
Now, the outfits help, because sometimes it's hard to determine which one is which
because they look so similar.
But this is where our gender communication to children begins.
Now, imagine for a moment, recall a time when you,
or maybe someone you know,
told a young boy to stop crying or to suck it up;
or encouraged a young girl to play with barbies,
instead of a toy truck.
From the beginning, we set a either or path
for our children - one or another,
when it comes to clothes, toys or actions.
It either is or isn't okay to cry;
either you play with hot wheels or you play with barbies.
We use gender as a way to construct our children's reality.
Now, the work of a communication scholar James Carey,
tells us that communication is a symbolic process
whereby realities are produced, maintained repaired, and transformed.
Now, I'm not here to say
that the communication we are having
with our children is invaluable,
nor am I even here to paint the world yellow.
What I am here to do is encourage a breakaway from that gender dichotomy.
By communicating, what we believe is appropriate:
language, clothes, attire, actions to our children,
we're getting a symbolic message
as to what it means to be a man and a woman.
Our communication produces it.
Our reinforcement of that communication maintains it.
And yet, by changing the way we speak and act, we can transform it.
Communicating macho manhood to young boys,
and communicating submissiveness to young girls just won't cut it.
We, by communicating that, are really sending strong signs
to our young boys and young girls
as to what it means to be a man and a woman.
Now, let's face it: we tell children
what they should do and what they should be,
but not so much what they can do,
or what they can be.
We use gender as something we must fit into
masculinity for men and femininity for females,
when, really, gender is so fluid,
with so many different possibilities and combinations,
that anybody can fit into it.
Now, I do want to show you a picture of Alayna today.
And, as you can imagine, the pictures I showed you earlier
were two pictures of the same little girl,
but it's amazing how much we rely on our minds
and communicating gender to tell us a little bit about difference.
Now, I'm here to tell you that we really need to think about
the way we communicate gender to our children.
we have the responsibility to think about
the ways we talk about gender
and to make sure we're communicating it
in a liberative, positive ways,
so that we can have a society that doesn't see gender
and a society that communicates gender
in more positive tones for a more diverse, just world.
Thank you.
(Applause)