[MUSIC PLAYING]
FELICIA: Felicia here.
Welcome to Monday.
Hopefully The Flog will make it better.
I am so super psyched to see a lot of you enjoying our new
community area on geekandsundry.com.
We have brand-new forums, we have chat rooms and we also
have a Ventrilo server, all for you guys to connect.
Many thanks to Danger Brain, the guys who programmed the
site to be so incredibly uber.
Before we get to the segment this week where I touch a man
robot inappropriately, let's do this week's top three.
Viewer Vladimir Kacks linked us number one this week.
Relive-Your-Life is a choose your own flash rhyming
adventure story thing.
It's kind of hard to describe.
Each result of the many games you play along the way takes
you on a different branching storyline, ultimately
resulting in 30 different possible endings.
It's really imaginative and fun to see where your
character ends up.
That weirdest thing that happened to me was that I was
born a man girl hybrid with a skull of a
girl between my legs.
Plus 20 to creativity.
Next, I'm always really frustrated when I try to take
a screen shot and I can't figure out where the file goes
or resize it easily.
And I usually end up going, I didn't want that thing anyway.
Well, I found this really cool downloadable program called
Skitch that lets you take a screen shot of any size on
your desktop or on your browser.
Then you can write on it, drawn on it, resize it, then
drag it to your desktop or share it on the internet very,
very simply.
Unfortunately, it's not available for PC.
So 1,000 enraged comments below.
Lastly, Indie Game The Movie is a documentary that just got
released that follows the creators of Braid, Fez, and
Super Meat Boy, three games I loved playing.
We're in the renaissance of indie games right now and this
film gives some very unique insight.
I think any gamer should definitely watch it.
Bonus, the filmmakers are selling the movie directly
from their website, DRM-free in tons of different formats
with subtitling options.
I'm going to go play all these games again in celebration.
Yeah!
The segment we're doing this week is the weirdest
one we've ever done.
I touch genitalia, play with blow up dolls-- all in the
name of education.
So this is my friend, Joseph Pred.
And he's here to teach me how to do CPR.
What's this guy's name?
JOSEPH: This is called SimMan, and it's
probably a $100,000 tool.
You can actually administer drugs to it and it will
respond, its irises constrict to light.
It's anatomically correct--
FELICIA: Just for the record, this is not man parts.
There's a man head and there's lady parts down here.
SIMMAN: That helped.
FELICIA: Whoa!
I'm touching a vagina.
SIMMAN: Thank you.
FELICIA: I kind of want one.
How much did you say?
JOSEPH: $100,000.
FELICIA: OK, no.
Hey?
I want to kiss him.
Is that creepy?
JOSEPH: That is kind of creepy.
SIMMAN: I'm feeling very dizzy.
JOSEPH: You're touching him and he's getting very dizzy.
FELICIA: It's just what I do to men-- er she women.
SIMMAN: Go away.
FELICIA: Oh!
Maybe we should start doing the CPR now.
JOSEPH: So what we have here is a real
easy reference sheet.
The first step is super, super easy, and that's really just
check and call.
You want to make sure that they're OK and
not just, say, asleep.
You grab them by the shoulder, and you jostle
them a little bit.
Hey, are you OK?
You have to really, really get in there.
FELICIA: A little bit better, OK.
So let me do this.
Right?
SimMan, are you ready?
Are you OK?
It was a little big, wasn't it?
OK, let me just put my ER hat on.
So we're at an outdoor cafe in Paris.
We're having brioche and cappuccinos and a random,
naked Frenchman falls.
Are you OK?
JOSEPH: Now, if they don't respond, you want to get
somebody to call 911 for you.
FELICIA: OK.
You call 911.
Is it 911 in Paris?
JOSEPH: No.
Europe has, I believe, it's 112.
FELICIA: OK, let's pretend we're not in Paris.
We're in Paris, Las Vegas.
JOSEPH: If they don't respond and they're not breathing, you
start chest compressions.
That's the second step.
Lace your fingers together--
FELICIA: Like that?
JOSEPH: And then you're going to use the heel of your hand
sort of right there between the nipple line.
FELICIA: So between the nipples, I'm like a piston.
JOSEPH: You are exactly like a piston.
Joseph, I didn't tell you this, but this guy in Vegas,
to our characters, he's my secret lover.
Jacob, don't leave me.
JOSEPH: Jacob?
FELICIA: How's my CPR going?
JOSEPH: Oh, right, that.
It's all about--
FELICIA: Like that?
JOSEPH: Yes.
FELICIA: But my boobs are in the way!
Not really, but if you did have big boobs, this would be
harder, like golf.
I'm making a right angle with my arm,
vertically over the sternum.
I'm getting the thumbs up from offscreen!
Yes!
JOSEPH: Before--
FELICIA: Oh, I'm sorry.
JOSEPH: You got a little excited there.
FELICIA: This is really tiring!
JOSEPH: Right.
When you're doing CPR, you really almost can't even talk,
because you're having--
FELICIA: No.
We couldn't have any back story.
JOSEPH: You need the voice over for that.
FELICIA: Jacob, I can't tell Joseph about our relationship
but I will save you.
Oh yes, I will.
JOSEPH: But if you let him die, then I'll never find out.
FELICIA: Wait, wait.
OK, so you're telling me I should let this guy die?
JOSEPH: You're keeping him alive until help arrives.
So--
FELICIA: Until he can see his son Caleb for the first time.
JOSEPH: Luckily, you're in an urban area.
And you're called 911, so we can hear the sirens.
FELICIA: Help is on the way, Jacob!
No!
Don't hit him!
He's defenseless.
JOSEPH: I've got nothing.
Another reason why you can stop is if you've got an AED,
an Automatic External Defibrillator, on site.
FELICIA: Is that the--
JOSEPH: Yeah.
FELICIA: Oh, my God, Jacob!
Wait!
So I'm going to put this one right here?
Does that look good?
Over the nipple?
JOSEPH: Push the power button.
FEMALE VOICE: Training mode.
Call for help.
Analyzing heart rhythm.
Do not touch the patient.
JOSEPH: So you go clear.
FELICIA: Clear!
FEMALE VOICE: Shock advised.
Charging.
Stand clear.
[BEEPING]
FELICIA: What's going to happen Joseph?
Jacob!
Come back to me.
FEMALE VOICE: Shock one delivered.
It is safe to touch the patient.
Begin CPR now.
FELICIA: Oh, OK.
Jacob!
Come back to me!
Caleb wants to know his real daddy.
Jacob, are you OK?
Oh, don't stop.
FEMALE VOICE: Continue.
FELICIA: Continue, yes.
Oh, God.
I'm totally going to get a bruise.
Why couldn't you have just been more caring?
Why do I have to look at a man with a--
FEMALE VOICE: 30 seconds.
FELICIA: Just be quiet!
We're having a discussion.
But he's our father's child!
FEMALE VOICE: Continue.
FELICIA: Caleb has a vagina just like his father!
FEMALE VOICE: Three, two, one.
Stop CPR.
Stop now.
FELICIA: I already did.
FEMALE VOICE: Do not touch the patient.
FELICIA: Honey!
I'm so sorry.
Is he dead yet?
JOSEPH: We're about to find out.
FEMALE VOICE: Analyzing.
If needed, begin CPR.
FELICIA: Oh, again?
I'm going to let him go.
I'm pretty certain that the last frame is the ambulance
pulling away with his dead body and me
sobbing in your arms.
Well, thank you, Joseph, for coming and bringing your
awesome toys and my lover, Jacob.
I will definitely actually make an
effort to get certified.
JOSEPH: And a lot of those techniques can be done at home
with one of these great kits.
And I've got one here for you.
It's the little infant kit.
But the cool thing about this is it's got a video, it's got
everything you need.
And so it's perfect--
FELICIA: Yes, everything you need, absolutely everything.
Baby Caleb.
So yeah, it's a lovely gift.
Thank you so much.
Caleb, say goodbye to your daddy.
This baby has a vagina, but he's a man.
OK?
Thank you, Joseph.
I will be sure to brush up on my CPR and learn how to do it
for infants.
And I encourage everybody out there to
investigate the three steps.
Oh, he's alive!
We're a family again!
OK, Joseph, you can leave now.
Bye-bye!
Bye-bye, everybody!
JOSEPH: I feel so conflicted.
FELICIA: If that segment didn't make you feel dirty, I
don't know what will.
We do have a handful of Joseph's books to give away.
So check @geekandsundry on Twitter for more
information this week.
Question of note this week comes from Naeko.
What would a group of Felicia Days be called?
What?
Dear Naeko, if I had a theoretical group of clones,
which I definitely do not, I would call them--
hey guys, what do we call ourselves again?
A felicitude.
Sincerely, Felicia Day.
OK, Naeko.
Your letter is on its way.
Hey, you wouldn't want to get one of these shirts that I'm
wearing which is glow-in-the-dark and awesome?
I mean, why would you?
I'm selling this to you.
Please check it out. geekandsundry.com/shop.
Glow-in-the-dark.
Get it.
Bye!