Hey, where's instructor Mooselini?
I'm supposed to have my driving lesson right now.
Wow, you're DJ Fresh Frog!
I remember you from the 90s!
What's happening P-Dawg?
I'm your driving instructor for today!
Here! Have some pogs.
Wow, a driving lesson with a rap icon!
Can this be happening?
I gotta believe!
Woah! Hey! You can't say that!
Huh? What'd I say?
I respect you and everything, Fresh
but that's really misogynistic!
Is that something to do with vaginas?
What?! No, nevermind.
Alright alright
Lets get it on!
JESUS! Would you stop with that shit???
What's wrong homeskillet?
You can't say that!
Homeskillet?
You know what you did!
You can't even catch H.I.V. that way!
It's just a turn of phrase man!
Like "Don't go there!" or "Talk to the Hand" or
WASSAAAPPPP!!!!!
Not that! Anything but that!
Look you can't keep saying these outdated and offensive things!
It's not ok any more!
Not that it ever was
Take a chill pill homie!
I will NOT take a chill pill!
What does that even mean?!
Just say car things, ok?
BOOYAH!
Stop repeating me you dumb ass dog!
We're on the train tracks!
What are you? A FUCKING re-
Woah! Am I in heaven?
I gotta believe!
In an afterlife!
Wait, what?
Don't tell me I gotta keep repeating things even in heaven?
Welcome to the gates of heaven!
Unless you're gay or have too much melanin
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Thank you for releasing me, Spyro.
Uhh, I did what now?
Gnasty Gnorc has imprisoned the dragons across the many worlds.
You're our only hope of saving us!
Huh? You're kidding right? Dude I'm tiny!
There's no time to explain!
You need to take this-
Hold on-
And this-
Ok but I-
And these-
JUST WAIT A SECOND!
Come on, do I even get a say in this?
*Snickers* No. Off you go!
Ahh!
Ugh!
Uagh
What's happening?
Who dares enter the domain of Gnasty Gnorc?
Huh?
You! Puny purple dragon!
Yeah ok, apparently you did something?
And everyone's really mad so
listen I'm sure you're a perfectly reasonable guy
so I don't see why we can't put down the ham-
Yeah, ok cool.
You know, I think I'm getting why no-one likes you.
I'm gonna hang your head on my wall!
Oh yeah? Lets see you get a hang of this!
Huh, ok.
So, how do I get outta here?
Huh.
Where am I?
Woah Professor, your portal worked!
It's a real dragon!
What's your name, young man?
I'm going home.
Ok.
WHO brought a dragon into Avalar?
HE did it!
I'm the professor.
I... HATE... Dragons
I hate you more. What's your point?
You better listen, boy.
These lands belong to me.
So long as I'm around, everyone will bow down to m-
WHAT THE-
Did you just-
I don't care, leave me alone.
You're so mean!
GULP! Take me home!
I need a band-aid
I'll deal with you later, dragon!
I still don't care!
Woah, that's Ripto!
He's the bad guy!
Who's he and what's wrong with his mouth?
This is Hunter and we don't know.
I have a disorder.
Oh dear!
It appears the portal has been completely destroyed!
Well, looks like you're stuck here!
You're going to have to collect all of the things and then defeat Ripto!
No. This is extortion. This is bullcrap.
Please Spyro?
We don't wanna try anything else.
So then I said, w-what if we make a skate park?
Then he sai-
Alright! It's done.
I got all the things. Can we go now?
Oh no. Of course not. That would be too easy!
Great job Spyro!
Ripto's at the top of this RIDICULOUS staircase!
But no sweat since you can just fly up there!
Totally! Yeah, you know, I've been flying all day so,
I- you know, I'm gonna climb this, you know? I'm gonna climb this and
rest my wings! Hah! Yeah, oh fff lord.
Are you sure? 'Cause there's a lot of them!
YEP! Thanks!
Then he said "Do you have a helmet?" And I said "I got like 5!" And then he said-
Yeah, yeah! No, mom, I actually took over the place!
All by myself, it's great!
*phone babble*
Well no, I'm not gonna kill all of them.
*more phone babble*
No- that's not how you do- MOM
*yet more phone babble*
You know this is why I didn't wanna call you, you always get like this-
OKAY
JEEEBA
NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME!
Uhhhhhh
I have been through ICE!
Okay
I have been through the OCEAN
Right
I have spent 2 hours in a maze with snail elephants
LOOKING for a pencil!
What?!
I did this because I wanna go home.
And if I wanna go home,
YOU have to go away.
And why would I do that?
Because now I'm not asking.
How about we make a deal?
No! Absolutely not! I am not doing another
I promise! Help me with one teensy little thing.
I'll send you back myself!
And you'll never have to deal with any of this
ever again.
No move more to your right!
Ok
Just grab the ledge!
I'm trying
I can see it!
I can't get the stupid thing!
Alright! Now gogogogogogogoggo
*Honk-Shoo, Honk-Shoo, snoring sounds, et cetera*
Kill all the dragons
Here.
Ahhhhhh
I've been waiting for this moment for so long
Now I can finally destroy everything that-
I don't care. Send me back!
*evil laugh*
I'm sure he'll be back soon!
I bet all the gems in the world he-
Guess who's ho-ome!
*evil laughter*
He bailed on us.
Woah. This sucks.
Oh Spyro, how-
I'm going to the beach.
Okay.
In the name of the merciful father
We commit the body of the PlayStation VR
And all of it's worthless accessories
to the peace of the grave.
It was a life full of promise and excitement
But in the end... well
Nobody gave a shit.
I mean it still cost $300
Everyone knows there's only one real use for this technology!
And that's hardcore pornography.
Resident Evil couldn't make it cool,
Arkham Asylum couldn't
Battlefront!
R.I.G.S sucked!
Until Dawn
So bad.
And so it is...
From dust you came
And to dust you shall return!
WOOOOO Yeah!!!
Who wants to party with the Swi-itch?
2.7 Million Units in the first month baby!
Controllers for everyone!
Hey lets go have some REAL fun!
Woohoo!
Hey, wait for me!
Uuuuugh! I wanna play!
No please!
I'm not like you guys!
I'm gonna change the whole game!
I'm IMMERSIVE!
I WANNA LIVE!!!
Look, another spirit
Don't talk to it, boy.
Hi, you're dead, right?
Yes, brutally murdered by my own shipmates shortly after leaving port, I'm afraid
That's awful. Why?
BOY
No no, don't worry.
Well, I had certain habits that they didn't agree with, I'm afraid.
Oh.
Well what's your unfinished business?
Maybe we can help?
Well you already have, in a way.
I just longed to see a young boy again.
Ideally without his-
MOVE ON, now.
Absolutely.
Why didn't you let him finish, father?
He seemed friendly enough!
Boy.
Although we usually see them as ogres, draugrs
or even gods,
People can be monsters too.
Do you understand?
Oh gods, he was-
You don't think he'll still go to Valhalla do you?
No.
So what you're saying-
is you're not a pedophile?
And were actually trying to help those men?
Exactly that!
Hmmmmmmm
Mmm-Hmmm!
Hmmmmmm
Hmmm!
Hmmmmmmmmmm
Mmmmmmmmm❤️