﻿Her leopard print was your first hint! If she's got a tattoo, she's not for you!
If her legs open wide, don't make her your bride! If her head tilts away, the pussy will stray!
This one’s been a long time coming. Today, I’m going to be discussing a poet, dating guru & body
language analysist, named Rivelino. That's how I'm gonna say it; I don't know if it's right,
but let's just go with that. He’s a guy on Twitter- an anonymous guy, who has... takes.
"Every new cock that penetrates her ages her 3-6 months."
Peculiar takes. But before we go any further,
let me introduce myself. My name is Tara Mooknee and this is the only channel on YouTube where all
videos are written and produced by a cow. She couldn’t be in the video today, because she’s
at a 'Femininity in Body Language' workshop. "It is imperative that we learn how we can
use our hands in order to become more elegant and graceful, lady-like women."
How to be feminine with your hands if you’re a human, or with your hooves if you’re a cow. But,
if you Like and Subscribe, she might appear in the next video!
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sponsoring today's video, and remember to click the link in the description
to get 25% off a Fabulous premium... Let’s set the scene: It’s May 2nd, 2020,
5:28pm (not sure which timezone) and the location: twitter.com. @Alpharivelino posted
two identical images of Icelandic strongman... *groans painfully* (Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson)
-who played 'The Mountain' in Games of Thrones. The images show the
strongman with his arm around his wife, Kelsey Henson. In the second image, green lines
have been drawn over their bodies to highlight him leaning towards his wife. The caption:
“Don’t lean in, strong man!” And it was there that the “don’t lean in" meme was born...
"Fellas, is it gay to embrace a woman?" Rivelino carries on the thread, arguing
that men leaning towards women demonstrates weakness and neediness. This is a theory
he calls “sexual polarity”, defined as: "The feminine wants to lean into the masculine. She
wants to enter his world, feel his strength, feel his protection & submit to his guidance. Sexual
polarity is the foundation for sexual attraction. Sexual polarity is the foundation for love".
Next time I’m on a date with a guy, I'm just gonna ignore all of the messages
I got growing up about having, you know, good posture, and instead just
lean in like this. Might not get a second date, but Rivelino would be proud.
He then got roasted to the nines and written about in the Daily Mail- in the section which is called
'Female' (*sighs* oh boy)... which he includes in his bio, incidentally.
So, in a nutshell, he’s one of those “how to be alpha” gurus, by pathologizing the body language
in photos of couples- and the occasional rodent; and uh, would you be surprised if
I told you that this guy’s views on women were regressive? Would your jaw drop to the ground?
"The girl that needs a lot of makeup to look pretty - is she pretty? She knows how to
cook > she has a masters degree... If you want to turn your daughter
into a slut just send her off to college!" For some reason, this guy hates tattoos...
"Every tattoo on her body represents ten cocks in her mouth!"
So that’s... 90 for me- I’m closing in on 100!
"1 tattoo = 1 abortion 2 tattoos = 2 abortions
3 tattoos = 3 abortions 4 tattoos = 4 abortions
5 tattoos = 5 abortions See how it works?"
No, I don’t actually.
"Five Signs You Might Be Losing Her: 1- She interrupts you when you talk
2- She doesn't let you cum on her face 3- She doesn't suck your cock with enthusiasm
4- She doesn't say "thank you" when you help her 5- She doesn't lean into you in photos"
*Giggles* The last one is extra funny to me, because it's so minor compared to the
other things. Also, even if she does 'do the right thing' by leaning in- you know,
in the photos, she can still go wrong in many other ways, according to Rivelino.
"Don't lean in, Jordan! And don't let her give you The Claw!"
Aliens: The CLAWWWW...
Well, now I’m insecure! What if you just have claw-like hands. Some of us girls just have little
rat hands, we can’t help it! Little boy kiss!
Now lads, say it with me: Fellas, is it gay to kiss a woman?
Maybe kissing a woman is THE gayest thing you can do! I mean, it is gay when I do it-
because I’m a woman! But, maybe it’s even gayer when a man kisses a woman? Because... Gah,
this is too big-brain stuff for my puny little woman brain!
Oh, and lemme get to the main reason I’m making this video. Our man came after our
pro-Palestine queen, Dua Lipa- so this shit’s personal! Our guy made a whole thread about her,
and it’s got the same energy as Piers Morgan endlessly talking about Megan Markle.
"Her ass in a thong? Her father did wrong! If she sticks out her tongue she's not the one!"
(Not really a rhyme, is it?) "You lean, you lose!"
No matter what you do, I'm gonna get it without ya! I know you ain't used to a female alpha!...
But don’t get it twisted, he doesn’t dislike Dua, he’s coming from a place of love and concern!
"You really hate Due Lipa!" "I love her! That's why I'm so tough
on her. She had so much potential..." "GET A JOB! STAY AWAY FROM HER!"
But, I’ll give credit where it’s due; I did manage to find Tweets where I thought,
this is a perfectly reasonable take... "If you're feeling down - DON'T: Get drunk,
Watch porn, Play Video Games, Eat junk food, Make excuses, Blame others. DO:
Exercise, Write in your journal, Eat healthy proteins and fats,
Take supplements, Confide in someone you trust, Take a dance class..."
I don't agree with all of the points here, but the general sentiment does make sense.
And I'm pleasantly surprised that he suggests taking a dance class!
I thought he'd think that was too gay. Though, I have to say, it would be tricky to do a dance
class without doing any LEANING whatsoever! And exercise- exercise involves LEANING!
Taking supplements involves doing 'the claw'. Well done Rivelino, maybe you're alright-
"She is like a child. I need to know what she really needs better than she does."
Alrighty, never mind then. Now, I know this is just some silly man on Twitter,
but it isn’t just him. You see these sentiments a lot in all kinds of male-orientated content. The
kind of content I like to call 'how to gender'. So, think Elliot Hulse, Fresh & Fit (more like
Trash & Shit- heh!), Alpha M, etc, etc; and then on the flipside, you’ve got 'femininity training',
where you over-analyze every single body movement. You know, like how to be feminine with your hands.
My response to all this, is this: if you have to force these behaviours,
maybe that implies this is all a load of bullshit? Maybe gender is a construct...
Uh-oh, sound the alarms, crazy feminist alert! SOMEONE BETTER SHUT ME UP!!
All the misogynist stuff is bad, of course, you've watched my channel,
but the Tweets that really left a bad taste in my mouth are the ones about Ukraine. Yeah- really.
We saw this coming. "I will now take Ukraine"
People are dying, because of Putin; so maybe praising him for being 'alpha'
is a dick move. Understatement of the century. Speaking of, I just want to mention the invasion
of Ukraine. I will be donating to a few organisations helping those affected,
and I will link some resources in the description if you are able to donate
too - but only if you're able to. Just make sure to keep informed, because it’s important stuff.
To end on a high, I’d like to do today’s subscription pet shoutout. Today we’ve got
a veteran 'blepper', or is that a 'mlem'? It’s an in-between, isn’t it? Let’s debate in the comments
whether this dog is doing a 'blep' or 'mlem'... Anyways, this is Indy who is 13 years old. He
is a distinguished gentleman who loves peanut butter, and he loves apples! What a sweetheart,
let’s give Indy a round of applause! *clapping* Thank you so much for watching. Make sure to
check out Fabulous, the first 100 people who click the link in my description get 25%
off Fabulous premium. If you liked this video, make sure to give it a like, because 1 like equals
saving 1 woman from falling over because she’s forced to lean like the fucking tower of Pisa.
Alright, I’m off. Buh bye! Buh bye now! Buh bye! Buh bye now! Buh bye! Buh bye!