I have to piss. I really have to piss. I'm gonna have to pee so much this video
Hello guys. What's up? How are you all? Hope you're doing absolutely swell. I'm so excited for today's video
I mean I'm excited for every video Who am I kidding, but like this one
I'm super excited for because this video is just gonna be me trying different coffee drinks
Today, I'm gonna be channeling my inner coffee critic, and I will be trying some of San Francisco's
World-renowned coffee drinks that they're famous for--
I looked on Yelp and found three of the most iconic,
famous, trendy coffee drinks that San Francisco has to offer--they all have something in common
They're all overpriced, and I haven't tried any of them before in my life. I drink a s*** ton of coffee
I consider myself a respectable coffee drinker
I think that I have the authority to judge these coffees
respectively--
Respectively-- I don't--okay-- why am I using words that I don't know how to use, I've been trying to make
My vocabulary better, but I just I'm starting to realize it's not gonna happen
It'll kind of make more sense once you see how f****** weird these drinks are okay? Whatever. Do you know you can't you guys go?
What's going on?
For the first place that we're going to-- we're going to a coffee place called Andy town coffee roastery-- Roasters?
I don't f****** know. Sorry. I'm a little bit confused
Hi
The drink that I'm getting from there is called the snowy
plover or some s***. Now this drink is famous because it's so f****** weird, but supposedly it tastes really good
Let me explain to you what this drink is, so this drink is basically sparkling water, a shot of espresso,
brown sugar syrup, and their homemade famous whipped cream--yeah
Honestly, that sounds kind of gross to me. I don't quite understand that combination, but supposedly it's super good. It's so famous
I've seen so many pictures of it online whenever I've ever been to this coffee shop
I've always seen other people drinking it. This is their most popular drink
It's like something that I feel like all coffee
Experts should have under their belt from what I'm seeing on Yelp people travel far and wide to get this specific coffee drink
So I'm pretty excited to try it out trying to drive and there's a freaking roadblock in the way-- A freaking roadblock
and I'm very frustrated right now, you know I'm having to make a definite detour here
Oh, there's somebody's f****** dog running in the street. That is so bad. Well. I wasn't even close to hitting the dog
Thank God, I would never forgive myself, ever
I would literally die. That almost kind of happened because somebody left their f****** dog run loose in the literal middle of the street
I'm literally reporting them to peta-- because PETA whatever because I do not stand for that. That is so offensive
Absolutely appalling that somebody would ever let their small little fluffy puppy run in the f****** Street
I am so upset right now. I could not believe my eyes. I'm suing
sorry
shut up
I almost got hit by a bus
Why does this happen to meet every time after time - shut up, Siri!
I know you're helping me, shut up. Me every time somebody tries to help me with a life problem
And they have my best interest at heart
But I just shoot them down anyways-- aw that's so cute
Finding parking around here is literally like harder than like finding a boyfriend for me
That's like and that says a lot cuz like it's really hard for me to find a boyfriend cuz I'm so ugly
I am so confused, it's good. No, it's not
The only good part about it is the whipped cream the whipped cream is intensely good, super thicc, but the actual drink itself tastes horrible
bitter, sour-- I'm feeling
Disappointed I'd rate that drink a three out of ten at most, it was not great
I was not a fan of it at all. I wanted to like it
Maybe my taste buds aren't intelligent enough for it or something. I don't know I did not like it
I don't know. Why in the
f****** world they are famous for that drink because I've been to that exact coffee and Andy Town Coffee before and gotten an iced almond milk latte
And I can promise you that it was 100 million times better than that drink. First,
let's talk flavor-- flavor was just not good, the base of it was just f****** weird. I don't know
I think the sparkling water kind of like threw me off a little bit because you know one like sparkling water has been sitting out
For a really long time, and it kind of starts to get that weird like carbonated flavor
That's like what that tasted like mixed with super bitter
Espresso mixed with really f****** good whipped cream reason why I could actually drink a little bit of it was because the whipped cream was
F****** unbelievable like I could literally just eat that whipped cream like with a spoon for like the rest of my life
It was so good vanilla-y and just oh. It was so good.
Probably the best whipped cream I've ever tried. At least they have that going for them
I would overall give it a three out of ten at most, I would give it like a 1 out of 10
But like the whipped cream was so good that I just like whatever
I don't often kind of branch out with my coffee drinks
And I usually stick to what I like which is a nice almond milk latte
And I kind of been starting to realize why it's because everything else f****** sucks
You know when you taste something and you're like, I don't like that, but I can kind of understand
Why somebody else would-- this I can't even picture that, this is like no
I don't even know how anybody would want why anyone would like this my stomach kind of feels weird now
Maybe it's because I'm so upset
So for our next drink
We're gonna be going to--I don't know where we're going I have to look--flywheel coffee roasters, flywheel coffee roasters is
Famous for their siphon coffee, it's basically
I'll insert like a picture or video of like the machine that makes it. It's like this really weird
old-fashioned like coffee vacuum
That's what they describe it as it brews using like fire and like vacuum power and s***
I did not understand it whatsoever I saw a video of it
And I was just like holy it like that is so dope but like I don't understand it at all
I don't know the benefits of it like how it tastes different than regular coffee that was like never
Discussed and like I couldn't find anything, but I think the main reason why it's so
Dope is because the process of making it look so f****** cool, and I'm just like excited to see them make it
It's like six bucks
Though which is like super expensive
But I'm not mad because it kind of makes sense like if you see that machine like I bet those things are so expensive-- vacuum
Coffee maker brews coffee using two chambers where vapor pressure and vacuum produced coffee-- that is completely over my head
So I don't know hopefully it's good. It is hot coffee, and I am a huge fan of cold coffee
I've done my iced coffee rant in a video before but I'll do it briefly now the window of drinkable
Temperature with a hot drink is so short
It's either too hot too cold or a perfect place in the middle
But it's only at that perfect place in the middle for like five minutes
You either drink your entire coffee right then or you're freakin screwed, an iced coffee on the other hand it's nice refreshing
And it's at like a drinkable temperature for like thirty minutes and like the only problem is is when the ice melts
But like it takes a long time for the ice to melt so like that's not as much of an issue, also
I think coffee tastes better cold
I think that the notes are brought out better because I feel like your taste buds when the coffee is hot, the coffee burns your
Tongue so you can't even taste the coffee half the time because your tongues fuckin burnt iced coffee
You can actually taste the notes because your tongue isn't being
Scorched and your taste buds aren't being freakin destroyed you can actually like enjoy the coffee drink and not be like oh
You know what I mean, but anyway. I have my own coffee from home here
That's gonna cleanse my palate because that last drink was fucking upsetting
Okay, so they give me this whole thing and then also some in the mug which I think is really good
But they give you a really small amount I think because I think it's really rich coffee
I'm not really exactly sure but like look how dope this like science like frickin flask is?
Woah good, it's just like black coffee though
I feel like it just tastes like a really good French press, but French press is like you could do that at home
I don't know. I think it's good
I don't know if it's worth like six dollars, but I think that the experience is cool, and it would make a good photo
But I think that it's a little bit. It's a little bit much for what it is. I think it's kind of cool
I think that the whole like experience is cool, and I think that that's what makes it worth the money
But it's like pretty smooth coffee though. I feel like it's like it goes down easy you know I
Know I kind of talked while I was in there
So you kind of already got the gist but likes I wouldn't do it again
But I think I'm like glad that I did it so I'd rate it like a six out of 10 it looked like I was
Watching like a chemistry experiment
experience experiment
But I don't feel like it tasted so
Amazing or like so different than just like a regular cup of coffee that like I don't know and it also it was just black
Coffee like how good can just black coffee be didn't excite me. Okay? It didn't excite me despite. We are off to our next place
Okay, so this last coffee place. We're going to is called ritual
I've been here before it's actually one of my favorite coffee shops of my life. I really like it
I've never tried any of their specialty drinks, so one of Ritual's most famous drinks
Is a nitro--
This is becoming a problem-- is their nitro cold brew which is basically like nitrogen infused coffee
I guess nitrogen makes it cold so it's like kind of like iced coffee, but like without the ice
I don't really exactly know what it is all. I know is that it looks really cool, and I heard it's really good
Nitrogen is an element
I think and I'm pretty sure the atomic number is seven don't quote me on that if I'm editing this and the atomic number isn't
Seven I'm gonna be really embarrassed, but if it is that I'm gonna feel like a fucking gangster, so we'll see
Anyway yeah, I took chemistry last year so suck my dick. I don't know how they infuse it
I don't know how the process works, but you sure it's really overpriced as well
so we're just really dropping the big bucks on coffee today, but
It is what it is so
There's some people getting into a physical fight. Okay. That's so bad. Oh no no
That makes me so uncomfortable guys break it up. That's always disturbing
You know watching other people just fight each other in the street just in the broad of daylight on a Monday
I mean, I don't know just a little disturbing that's their thing. Okay. That's their thing. You know what I mean
I'm not gonna judge. What do you think they're fighting about guys? What do you think?
What do you think who's watching this right now? What do you think I think that they were fighting--that was scary
--Maybe they're fighting because one of them sold the other ones girlfriend or boyfriend. I don't judge. Maybe they're fighting because
They didn't pay their rent on time. I don't know maybe they don't even have rent to pay maybe they live at home
Maybe they don't have a home. I'm sorry. This is kind of getting offensive. Oh my god. Oh
That for a second. I thought that that guy was just literally snorting cocaine but he was actually just playing the harmonica
Do you know what I shouldn't judge- see that's my own character flaw
I'm judging people you know what a guy was trying to play his harmonica in peace
And I'm just like judging him thinking that he's snorting cocaine that is so rude of me
I should have never assumed that I bet that guy would never do cocaine ever I bet he's just playing harmonica
I described my wheels that's Karma. That's car. I don't know what I did, but it's Karma
I also just found parking so easily, and I'm so fucking excited about it, and it's also free parking, but we're here now
So let's go check it out
Okay, just finished at ritual sorry
I didn-- I was too lazy to set up my camera for the last time so really skimping y'all out today
But what can we do honestly I was just disappointed again like it just didn't
Float my boat like it was fine like it would be better with almond milk. I mean
I think the only cool part about it
Is that like it's cold?
Without ice cubes in it because like the nitrogen makes it cold like that's the only cool part about it
And it doesn't really taste that good
It just was honestly kind of sour and like when my coffee sour I get fucking pissed so now
I just have a shit ton of caffeine in my blood and that's basically that uhm but anyway
I tried hopefully the lighting isn't that bad because it's five o'clock and it's already like pitch-black out almost not really
But like kind of so yeah
I'd rate the last one like a 2 out of 10 because I'm just so like-- even though
It didn't taste bad
It was just so fucking boring and it was overpriced, and I just like I don't know
I just miss my ice almond milk lattes. I think the main thing that I learned I
Just I can't drink anything but iced almond milk lattes--this video
I don't know. It was kind of weird, but it was a it was an adventure. I hope you had fun
I know I had a little bit of fun. I hope you weren't bored if you were give it a thumbs up
No, just kidding
But if you did enjoy it or for some reason you weren't bored give it a thumbs up, subscribe to my channel, comment down below
anything you want, don't try any of these I mean. Yeah. don't. you're gonna
Go to a coffee shop get an iced almond milk latte, and thank me later a trendy doesn't mean tasty
And that is what we learned today, but anyway. Love you all appreciate you all and I'll see you next time peace
Oh, that was so embarrassing. That was so corny. I am so embarrassed