Hello Internet - and welcome back to the most inquisitive channel on YouTube - Life’s
Biggest Questions, the place where we curse the Engineers for their damn meddling, and
thank the Yautja for their unrelenting quest in Xenomorph extinction.
Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, though.
What’s going on guys - as per usual, I’ll be your disembodied floating voice Jack Finch
- as we fire up the Power Loader, try and calculate the odds of surviving versus the
perfect organism - nanoseconds before we realise we’re infected with a chestburster - and
quietly ask the question, What If The Xenomorph Queen Was Real?
Roll the clip.
Forget about the dreadfully terrifying thought of the Xenomorph’s being real - because
in the grand infinity of space - all things are possible - and no one can hear you scream.
Science fiction gives us the affability to accept the likelihood of there being much
more horrific things in the universe than just giant, hurtling asteroids that can trigger
an extinction event on our planet - the fictional culmination of which being the Xenomorph species
- and the even bleaker prospect of their Xenomorph Queen.
Hey, if we’re taking Alien VS Predator as canon, then there’s already a frozen Queen
floating around somewhere in the Southern Ocean - lucky us, eh?
Before we jump into that though, you know the drill by now guys - if you’re a fan
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On with the show.
Back in 1979 - Ridley Scott delivered on perhaps the greatest science fiction horror film ever
made, Alien - following the crew of the commercial space tug Nostromo - who stumbled upon a ravenous
and otherwise unknown alien lifeform, the Xenomorph - a deadly and aggressive extraterrestrial
species with the prime directive to rip and tear its way across the universe.
We had chestbursters and facehuggers, and Ellen Ripley saving the day in a space suit
- but it wasn’t until the 1986 blockbuster Aliens when the xenomorph origin fleshed itself
out, and we were introduced to the biggest baddie of them all, the Xenomorph Queen.
The Xenomorph’s creation story is widely shrouded in mystery, but has been alluded
to on several occasions throughout the franchise - most recently in Alien: Covenant, where
the cyborg David insuates his involvement in creating the first ever xenomorph incubation
egg.
However, it still poses the question - what came first, the xenomorph or the egg?
Nevertheless, the xenomorph is a complex, intelligent lifeform that has a myriad of
biological functions to ensure its survival throughout the universe.
Commonly referred to as the perfect organism, if we were to draw a parallel to a similar
Earth creature, albeit on a much smaller scale - it would be an ant or bee colony.
They utilise a hive, and a subsequent caste system - although the Xenomorph’s do it
on a much, much bigger scale.
Take the drone - which serves as the basis of any xenomorph hive, the worker ant that’s
only role is to ensure the healthy condition of the hive.
But still, remember - freaking terrifying.
Next you have the warrior, the soldiers and the protectors of the hive - bigger and stronger
than the drone - that protect the species at all costs.
Which brings us to their most vital role in the xenomorph lifespan - protecting the Queen,
the progenitor of the hive and their only means of survival.
So much so, that a Queen can even force a warrior to evolve into a Praetorian, a highly
advanced xenomorph warrior and the Queen’s personal guard.
So what would happen if say - that Xenomorph Queen floating at the bottom of the antarctic,
the one we mentioned earlier - managed to crawl out of its frozen tomb and start popping
out a few eggs?
Well - if the queen was smart about things, which let’s face it - is incredibly likely
- The Xenomorph has already demonstrated an acute intelligence, particularly the Queen
- who even managed to navigate a spaceship elevator in the events of Aliens - and if
she could adapt to the barren climate of the South Pole, then she’s already in the perfect
spot to stage a covert, xenomorph invasion of Earth.
The Queen can self-propagate exponentially, laying eggs from her engorged ovipositor - and
all she’d need is some human - or mammalian hosts to receive a facehugger, and thus the
hive can begin to expand - developing a strong basis of drones and warriors to secure the
Antarctic Shelf.
Currently, there are anywhere between 2’000 and 200 people that reside on Antarctica between
the Summer and Winter months - and if you see that through the eyes of a Xenomorph queen,
that’s a lot of drones and warriors.
Say theoretically, that a hive had developed successfully enough to defend itself - before
inevitably being discovered by one of the many research scientists in the area - then
are we even equipped to combat such a growing, hidden threat?
Granted - we could just drop a nuke on it - but the fallout of atomically destroying
one of Earth’s two magnetic poles would literally be a death sentence for our species,
too.
Xenomorph’s also possess an exoskeleton that is pretty much impenetrable to everything
- but the most technically advanced human firearms, I.E pulse rifles and stanchion launchers,
as laid out in the cinematic canon.
Things would look pretty bleak - all while the new nation of Xenomorph-Antarctica exponentially
grew.
Forget global warming - this would be the deadliest geographical threat ever posed to
our planet.
The United Nations would crumble under the mounting socio-political chaos, resources
would be stretched to breaking point - with key military and naval bases diverting all
their efforts toward maintaining some semblance of a perimeter.
It’d be the Cuban Missile Crisis on crack times a million - with an entire population
praying that these damn Aliens can’t swim.
There is one glimmer of hope, though.
Because if the Xenomorph’s are real - then of course, the Yautja are real.
If we could step up our democratic charm, invest our remaining billions into long distance
space comms - and desperately pray that they hear pick up our calls, or just, you know
- arrive a bit earlier for the annual decadely hunt - then we’d have the key makings to
the perfect diplomatic galactic offering - an entire continent worth of big-game monster
slaying.
Because wherever there’s an Alien - there’s a Predator, and Xenomorph-Antarctica would
be the Superbowl of Yautja hunting.
Let the pros handle it, you know?
Well - unfortunately that’s all we’ve got time for in today's video - cheers for
sticking around all the way to the end.
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As per usual, I’ve been your host Jack Finch - you’ve been watching Life’s Biggest
Questions - and until next time, take it easy.