what defines you stay tuned this is Damon Cart with NLP Gym what defines you
that's both a question and a statement before I get into this if you haven't
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regular basis really like this city don't come here enough these have been
the coldest days else I've experienced in San Diego what defines you I think is
a question that a lot of people try to answer or over they try to over
intellectualize or over evaluate I think there's a lot of misunderstanding about
this question what defines you no one can really tell you who you are you
can't really tell yourself who you are but from an NLP perspective what defines
you is whatever you attend to whatever you put your attention on whatever you
focus on because that informs your behaviors and that creates an identity
and how you're perceived if all you do is focus on problems you will be defined
by problems if you worry all the time if you are fearful all the time or you make
decisions out of fear and not a finger then you become defined by worry fear
and anger if on the other hand you focus on success you focus on opportunities
you focus on possibility you focus on abundance you focus on the things that
you want rather than the things that you don't want then you define yourself or
you become defined by those things now that might sound overly simplistic but
that's just the start and it is some it is simple simple doesn't necessarily
mean easy that's a one of my mantras and consciously you can train your mind to
focus on what you want if you find yourself slipping into despair and
thinking about getting away from the things that you don't want you can catch
yourself and then say okay refocus my mind that's more of the conscious
intervention and here's the thing - it's not that you should not know what you
don't want or it's not that you should not have worry or fear those things are
good alarm systems they tell you to be careful about something they tell you to
watch out for something and that's appropriate you want to do that you want
to you don't want to turn that off you just don't want to dwell on it you want
to take in the knowledge and go okay well I have that
I know that now what am I going to do about it
in terms of what do I want now I know what I don't want what do I do want I
know what direction I don't want to go what direction do I want to go the hard
part about this is and this is where the NLP comes in is that we're we have a lot
of unconscious programs that puts our focus of attention on the things that we
don't want and it's that's this is probably biological and instinctual we
are still unconsciously focused on the saber-tooth tiger that might be around
the corner because that's what we're hardwired for it this is what we were
hardwired for for thousands if not millions of years so that's the kind of
stuff that we focus on
so how do you change that how do you reach into your programming and change
those things that's what NLP is really really good for because you actually can
go in change the programming actually move things around yeah
it's a Canon Rebel t5i okay no problem this is how it works in your personal
space the leaves aren't Believe It or Not and your personal space you see
images you see movies you hear voices you hear sounds you feel tactile
feelings you feel proprioceptive feelings like knowing where your body is
in space this is all happening mostly unconsciously and it's you're like when
you when you make an image a lot of times people say we'll make an image in
your mind but where are you actually seeing that image it's probably right
out in front of you most people when they visualize they visualize right out
in front of themselves when you hear a voice what direction is it coming from
sometimes it might come from it seems to come from inside your head but a lot of
times it's not a lot of times it's coming from behind you so we have these
programs in place like a critical voice for example and a lot of times that's
behind us because a lot of times when we got caught doing something we weren't
supposed to do we heard some voice and real and real
life when we're kids behind us saying what are you doing are you in so much
trouble or something like that and so that stays programs in our personal
space usually behind us so you can go one at a time and try to
reprogram all this stuff and it's very difficult and last video I did I
mentioned the self-concept model I think I upset a few people because I promoted
the workshop that's coming up that I teach this you can learn this on your
own it'd be helpful if you have some NLP
training a lot of planes flying over did the name of the book is transforming
yourself and it's by Steve andreas he's one of my mentors and he taught me the
model and I now teach it you can program into you qualities of identity that you
want so if you want to define yourself by a certain quality say it's joyfulness
curiosity success charisma you can actually program this in and you don't
have to think about it consciously it'll be there unconsciously and you would
naturally focus on these things and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy it's
it becomes a feed-forward system and a feedback system but more importantly a
feed-forward system so that you behave in the ways that align with your values
you take your values you elicit them and then you program them then ask qualities
and you will consciously and unconsciously focus on this raw data of
your experiences and categorize them according to these qualities that you
want to have and you will naturally focus on these things which means you
would naturally behave in the ways that you want to define yourself check out my
website NLP-gym.com follow me on Facebook for real-time updates on
upcoming workshops and talks if you'd like some free NLP training if you go to
my website like I mentioned NLP-gym.com you'll
find some free NLP training there take care
you