S: Hello, Youtube H: Hello
Before we begin, Shane, I thought for this video
It would be really great to get a thumbnail of you sobbing, crying
You know those thumbnails people do where they're like "emotional" and they're sobbing
S: Uh huh H: So if you just want to, just kinda..
Yeah, I'm not that good at acting, I'm gonna need you to pinch me really hard
S: Until I scream H: Okay, pretend like you're...
H: That'll look pretty good S: No, here, this is the thumbnail
Do I look sad? No, I'm not sad, I have been..
H: Glum S: Existentially glum
H: Yeah S: For a while now
Like two weeks
And we're gonna tell you all about it and why
This is something that's happened to me before
We'll get into it, the reason that I am so upset and unsatisfied with life
Is that I recently found out I can't walk
Um, no, that's not true, it's actually because the other day
I recounted my toes and there were not ten
I've lived my entire life thinking I had all ten toes
And last night I find out I only have 7
The real reason is that Hannah has taken up a boycott of showering
Why is this always your go to joke? I literally just got out of the shower
H: My hair has just dried S: Let me smell it
H: It smells amazing S: Oh wow, oh my god
I'm feeling much better, wow
No, alright, we'll tell you the real reason
That's what this video's gonna be all about
(intro song) Hello, hello, welcome to the show, welcome to the show
Welcome to the show, it's time to talk about our lives (Chloe bark)
You know what's the opposite of existential sadness? Hannah's shirt (laughs)
H: I mean, come on S: It's so bright
And this shirt says on it, "my happy place" so we couldn't be more polar opposite right now
You all know, I'm getting up, you all know about my love for Peddlar's Village
H: They were kind enough.. S: They sent her a shirt
To send this shirt, it's part of their Spring Peat festival
Which we were unable to attend, is this not the cutest thing?
It's a really happy shirt, it's such a happy shirt
That it's counteracting my existential glumness
Yeah, I've been doing a lot of things to try to counteract your existential glumness
Oh, you're treating me like a lab rat?
She's like "maybe if I wear bright colors he'll cheer up a little"
I would bring up the potatoes that are sitting out there
Waiting for your recipe idea but we can talk about it later
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Okay, so here is the deal, couple days ago we were at dinner
And we were just having a nice time joking, laughing, whatever
And out of nowhere Hannah was like "are you okay?" And I was like, huh?
You hate when I ask that, to begin with, your immediate answer was like "Yes"
Yeah, I thought it seemed like everything was fine
And then she says, "you've been like existentially upset for like two weeks now"
Yeah
And it was wild how perceptive that was
I drew a chart on the table, Shane was like "but I'm laughing right now"
And I was like yeah but you're normally here, okay
This is really upset, this is Shane's normal
He'll go like, oh, I'm really happy, I'm normal, I'm really happy, whatever
And right now he's functioning like here
In the middle
Yeah, it's just like he's down a level
Yeah, and I guess for this whole video I don't want to give the impression
That I'm really really upset
S: Like I am, I'm normal H: You're just blah
But I'm not at my normal high level of joking all the time
And finding everything hilarious and wonderful
Yeah
And this is something I have gone through phases of my entire adult working life
It takes me time, every time it happens, to nail down what the issue is
Like there really is no "thing", I don't have any medical issues
Like there have been no big failures or anything like that
There's nothing like really bad happening that I can point to
What I believe is the root cause of what's going on
I wish Chloe would stop, she's been circling behind you for three seconds
Chloe is doing a jig right behind us
Okay, she stopped, keep going
She's tap dancing, Chloe, way to really ruin the climax of that
(Hannah laughs)
"And the reason for my existential.." she's like (sings) do do do dooo
(Both laughing)
S: So yeah, I'm still able to find humor H: Oh my gods (laughs) yeah, of course
I have this very unhealthy desire to always be more successful
Than I currently am, I think we can agree that for a 30 year old
I've enjoyed good amounts of success in life
Both personally, like I'm married to my best friend
And career wise, I'm an author, a Youtuber, whatever
All of those things are objectively good but once I achieve them
I'm instantly like "oh, I'm not doing enough, I need to write another book"
"I need another wife"
S: That was so funny H: That was a really good one
When I had that thought I was like oh (laughs)
That was unexpected, I wasn't expecting that, that was funny
No, but like career wise, I'm always like "I need to be doing more"
Most of the time it doesn't really bother me
I wake up and I'm stressed cause I'm like "oh, I need to get stuff done today"
But I don't think about it a whole lot
Every few years, for whatever reason, it all adds up
And I cannot shake the thought that I am not successful, I'm not doing enough
And it makes me glum
Yeah, and we've talked about how if you think back to where we were
Four years ago, pre Youtube channel, all that
Us back then would've been mind blown at what we've achieved since then
Before the Youtube was even an idea
So obviously we've hit all these milestones that back then we never even dreamed of
So I feel like I should be like wow, look at this, I am so satisfied
Exactly, yeah, but your perspective changes
It does, yeah, there's like a psychological term for that
It's the thing where like, if you wear a watch you feel it in the beginning
But then you forget about it, and you don't feel it
I don't know if that's the same phenomenon but it's close enough
I don't know, one of you probably knows what I'm saying
So that's where I've been at lately
And I think it affects Hannah more than it affects me
Yeah
Cause like for me, it manifests in just like, I'm working a lot harder
And that makes me feel like "okay, I'm at least being productive"
"And working against this feeling"
S: But for Hannah, like... H: I'm like "Yoohoo! Want to hang out?"
Yeah, I guess the work really does like take me way out of our relationship
So at that dinner where she brought up how sad that I was behaving
I kept bringing up things on our to do list
And I kept analyzing our performance lately
Like views on Instagram and Youtube and things like that
And normally we're not talking about business stuff
When we're just out to dinner
So I think it probably is more annoying for you than for me (laughs)
Honestly though, it does kind of make sense for this to be happening now
Because we have had changes in our career
Like now we've signed with an agency, and stuff is coming in
Our book is due (laughs)
The end of our book is due in a matter of weeks
Like there are really really big deadlines coming up
So it makes sense to be stressed
And I think Shane deals with stress by trying to be productive
But I will say I think the lesson here is that
When you do think back to what we had three years ago
And you were stressed then because you were like how are we gonna pay for an apartment?
All this stuff, achieving this didn't make the stress go away
You're just as stressed now as you were then
So when you're feeling stressed now and you're like I should just do work to combat it
That is not gonna solve the problem
And obviously I don't know what will solve it
But achieving something new isn't gonna solve the problem
Yeah, I think it's just a matter of getting through it
And realizing that yeah, in our career, we're always going to want
To improve what we're doing and be better than we were last year
That's not always going to be possible, that's okay
Hannah's been phenomenal, as annoying as I've probably been
About doing little things to cheer me up
Like she'll randomly bring me a chocolate
Or she found me a recipe for what should be ungodly fried potato stick things
That we're going to make
Uh huh, mashed potates then fried
You mash potatoes and then you fry them
If that doesn't shake me out of my mood, nothing will (laughs)
That is what is worth living for, not work success, those potatoes
Yeah, and it is really helpful to have little moments of joy where I can be like
"oh, okay, I need to not think about my career for like two minutes"
Yeah
That helps me everyday, thank you
We would love to know, though, do you deal with this?
I feel like it's common
I'm sure it is
And how do you handle it, what helps?
Because I will take any and all suggestions right now
Let us know, yeah
Alright, back to work, back to work
How about we go make our potatoes?
No, I need to get stuff done
Oh boy
Alright everyone, thank you