[Captions by Judy V. and kitty3448 aj at Y Translator] Texts from your Ex. The Ex that text.
Does your ex ever texts you,
and you'd wish they'd just get hit by a bus?
Love you.
I'll drive to your house and die on your porch.
Good, I think tomorrow is trash day.
Bruh, you did not just go there.
Feel free to come over.
I know somebody, they gonna pick you up.
Take you to a place where you belong, where you can be with your own kind.
Do you still hate me?
Yup.
On a scale of 1 to 10?
If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with,
Hitler, Bin Laden, and you,
I would shoot you twice.
You got two bullets.
They'd rather kill you then Hitler and Bin Laden.
I mean, both of them are dead but hypothetically speaking,
you are worse than both of them combined.
I gotta make sure you're done.
You ain't coming back ruining my life or anybody else's life.
Do you want to be the Sun in my life?
Yes.
Good.
Then stay 92,935,700 miles away from me.
Thank you.
How jealous will you be once I move to LA,
and your ex-husband is a famous actor?
Ha! Then you will remember you had yo chance.
My mom is so excited for me.
Well, good thing I'll have your very first autograph on our divorce certificate.
No one gives a shit.
Man, you moving to LA to become an actor?
Oh my god.
Mom must be so proud.
K.
Every kiss begins with K, winky face.
Too bad ugly begins with U.
They ain't lying.
Savage begins with S.
I know that I shouldn't have but I accidentally did,
I didn't purposely plan on cheating on you.
It was an accident.
You don't accidentally f*** somebody, you dumbass.
Oops.
Like what? You just fall and slip on his dick.
Hey, u free tonite?
Who's this?
You kno who this is.
Sorry, no I don't.
Stop being an asshole.
We dated for two f****** years.
Satan?
OMG F*** you.
Man, I gotta change my number.
Satan got my number.
I gotta change my number.
Damn, I'm gonna get a new phone.
You know what, I'm just not gonna have a phone.
Hey babe.
Don't talk to me.
I'm sorry I cheated on you.
Give me another chance.
Your eyes sparkle like the stars,
you have the most wonderful laugh,
and your beauty takes my breath away.
You know, I actually thought you took my breath away, but...
But what?
But I just realized that I was simply suffocating from your bullshit.
Damn, let a girl breathe.
I mean you was probably like,
Choke me daddy.
Hold up.
Don't actually...
You need to move on and forget me.
How am I supposed to forget you,
every time I go outside and see things that remind me of you,
like garbage bins and dog shit?
These are too good.
Way too savage.
I hate saying the word savage but...
They're just a little bit of,
savage.
Babe, I miss you...
And she gonna send this pic back.
Aw, I knew you missed me too.
Nope. Just showing you what you're missing out on.
Joey's coming over tonight.
That's the worst thing you could do.
Like somebody still got feelings for you,
and you're gonna send them this.
And squeeze some lemon and rub some salt into that wound.
Come on babe, I miss you.
Why don't you come over right now?
We can go up to my room,
lay in my bed.
You can show me how you really feel about me.
Winky face.
Hun, I don't have enough middle fingers to show you how I feel about you.
What if you were like,
Oh, no, stay down.
We doing it. We doing it.
The ultimate middle finger,
bonus middle finger.
You were in my dream last night.
And I woke up and had to talk to you.
Haha oh lawd, what was it?
We were actually going back together.
What a nightmare.
This is the most pathetic thing you could send.
Like, Oh my god, I had a dream we're back together.
Oh my god, do not pull this shit.
Please, do not pull this shit.
I'll tell you now, it's not gonna work.
Hey.
[Music]
Oh.
I'll show myself out.
I'm going to leave now.
This bitch crazy.
I called.
I watched it ring.
So simple, so elegant.
How was your day?
Good, until 5:15.
Ohh okay.
When the dude texted. 5:15, the new 666.
Can we get back together?
Yes.
OMMGGGG REALLLYY???!!
No.
Don't play with their emotions like that.
Getting my hopes up like that.
Hate not sleeping next to you.
Hate this.
How I sleep knowing that nobody's cheating on me because I'm single AF.
Well, if you hate not sleeping next to anybody,
why don't you go sleep with your side hoe,
if you want to cheat so badly?
Cheaters gonna cheat.
Ur a f****** cleeshay.
Name your kids dumb shit,
work in a tatoo place,
pray to crystals and 'meditate' and smoke weed.
Grow up u'll never change.
I ran that through Google Translate,
because I wasn't sure if you're speaking English,
this is what it gave me:
I'm still lurking all your social media relentlessly,
because I am hopelessly in love with you,
please come back.
Oh no, I'm desperate.
Missed getting lost in those blue eyes of yours.
Yeah, my eyes are green.
Oh [bleep] don't even know the color of her eyes.
I'd be so offended if somebody told me this.
If someone I dated got the color of my eyes wrong,
how many hoes you with that you gotta forget my eyes are green?
Well probably, you know.
Are you ever gonna grow up and talk to me?
Okay, what would you like to talk about?
I'd rather talk to you in person.
Okay, I'll meet you in the blockbusters parking lot.
Blockbusters isn't even a thing anymore.
Exactly.
Hey long time no talk.
Let's keep it that way.
Short, sweet, simple.
Oh, I like these.
Hey Taylor!!!
I thought I just saw you typing on Snapchat.
I was actually trying to block you.
Very relatable.
What'd I tell you about getting hopes up.
I just ate a fish taco, it reminded me of you.
What a coincidence.
I just ordered a pizza and it came in 20 seconds.
Thought of you!
Wham bam, thank you ma'am.
What pizza place is that?
Asking for a friend.
But anyways, that's all for today.
I hope you guys enjoyed this video.
Comment below and let me know if your ex has ever texted you.
And what did they say?
Spill that damn tea.
I was gonna say bitch, you thought.
But it actually spilled.
Bitch, you thought I want to spill it.
It ain't even tea though.
But anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this video.
If you did, make sure to hit that like button the the face.
And subscribe, join the Wolfpack.
I love you guys so much.
Thanks for watching.
Bye guys.
[Music]