uh you know uh uh every time we do this show people come from all over the united states four
or five hundred people they sit in the audience well that means great everybody who wrote in for
tickets gets in but for every good story there's a sad story people who are waiting who don't have
tickets they have standby tickets they don't get in and because today is such a miserable rainy day
and these are folks who really want to see a television show and they didn't get i'll
turn on the camera out there this would be our standby audience tonight look at them look at
those people all right turn it off all right hal turn it off thank you they're getting on my nerves
that's our standby audience tonight those are the people that got up at dawn and stood outside
in the rain all day hoping to see some kind of a television show and we disappointed them yet
again and you know look already you folks here have seen the giant flying rat that's
that's the kind of thing that's the kind of thing you tell your grandkids and your neighbors about
so i want to try and do something nice if i can for these people alright turn it on again hal
hey hey hey hi yes sir right there are you at the head of the line what is your name please
yes sir you right there stop doing that what is your name please from germany yes we're from
germany well we'll get you a transition please open the doors and what is his name mike mike i
tell you what uh i want you to be in charge of the standby audience all right now in an
orderly single file and a well-mannered fashion as quickly as you can boy look at the guy at the end
take a lot of giant flying rats to cheer that guy up
chris elliott isn't it from the cast of saturday night live did he used to work here
chris elliott that's i don't know chris we could have gotten chris a ticket couldn't we somehow
all right i tell you what um all right ma'am quit styling the shirt
uh tell you what mike uh look at this uh mike bring everybody here
into the ed sullivan theater as quickly as you can please be very very careful
how are you thank you very much chris chris thank you chris oh come on sure i'm sorry come on up
here come on come on come on up here okay good heavens all right chris i enjoyed you in cabin boy
hi now listen um you folks haven't missed a thing so far tonight uh you know when you come to new
york city you want to see television shows don't you i mean they're like a dozen 16 television
shows in production all the time here in new york city as a matter of fact tonight simultaneously
as we produce the late show here in the ed sullivan theater on cbs the conan o'brien show
is in production back at back at nbc and you know that's that's our old show we we used to do that
show when conan o'brien heard about our standby audience he was nice enough to invite you folks to
go over there so it'll be fine it'll be fine okay there it is right there that's that's conan's show
right there okay so now that's where you folks are going yes we're taking you over there right now to
see to see a television show are we going come on come on folks here we go what is going on come on
thank you behave yourself thank you be careful take care bye-bye there you go
bye
kind of a hostage situation there is that what it i what it turned in to be well they'll have
the time of their lives our standby audience now on their way to our old show to see conan o'brien
to me you can't do any better than that with the standby audience we see the standby audience out
there and we turn the camera on i'm trying to talk to a guy named gunther what's his name
gunthar i don't know i can't hear gunther gunthar can't hear me but
he's from where is he from austria he's from germany gunthar is from germany
so uh and i'm trying to do something in my heart what i think is very nice uh symbolically
to pay back all of the wonderful patience and loyalty you folks have generated over the years
and so we're going to bring them in here and first of all coming in they don't seem to get
the drill about coming in you think a guy named gunthar from germany would have that drill down
but he'd be able to line guys up and get him in here but no you
signals to his folks back home there in berlin so um about 20 minutes later gunther and the
folks are in the theater and now i explain to them what we're going to do and uh you know i
said we're going to send you over to the conan o'brien show and they they don't want to go
right so i think i think you'd have to put that down as a mistake for us as well now the conan
o'brien was a wonderful show a very talented man very nice young man and they were kind enough
to invite goomthar and those other deadbeats to come over there and sit in their audience
and uh and so right now i'm just and then in the middle of it all just when you think oh my god i'm
just praying so we get to do a commercial and get the hell out of it in the middle of it all i see
our producer robert morton behind his little tree house whatever his little uh hobby house there his
little clubhouse he's doing this to me well i'm trying to talk to gunther and the folks there he's
and i said what is it bob i'm like four feet from him and instead of talking to me he says this
so i think you'd have to say that the first round so far is a draw
i don't want to name names i don't want to place blame but you're looking at him right there ladies
and gentlemen that's where well hello girls yeah but they weren't that peppy when they got in here
oh we don't want to go see another free tv show we want to stay in the lobby
okay they set their sights a little too high they would rather just stay in the lobby they're
lobby dwellers that's all they are that's all they'll ever be they're lousy lobby dwellers
they don't deserve conan o'brien paul and i by the way that's that's our old show that's right
it's kind of sad you're no help paul uh oh they're there oh there they are in the van let's see if
their attitude has changed since the van ride there's goo no that's not gunthar hell it's
happened to gunthar here we go hey and we're just as nice we're we're not seeing anything that's
great there they go they're scurrying along going running that's a beautiful building they're the
old that's going to be all right all right stop it uh it doesn't help okay no one's enjoying this
stop it here we go the category tonight from the home office in oh let's start the music again paul
look at this this is not working at all yeah they're frightened something's going wrong
they may be arrested oh no there they go there's three of them this is like some kind of outward
bound project the rest of them are lost in manhattan and they'll never be seen again
there they go there oh there now see look they're in the show there oh yeah now now
they act like they want to be there look at this look at these little weasels oh my god
it's the stockholm syndrome i've seen it a million times yeah they're identifying with the aggressor
now look at how polite they're being mr o'brien is right there thank you conan that's andy richter
thank you andy good luck they're wonderful people i'm sure you'll have a lovely show hey don't
don't be discouraged by the fact that they've ruined our show now come on uh hand out the
lays okay that's fine let's get back to the top 10 list here ladies and gentlemen i have a copy
you know there there are people like that what do you mean well they you know say there are
two parties in any given night and the folks have been invited to two parties they go to
the first party they ruin that then they go to the second party they ruined that
it's just people like that i don't know what it is some kind of chemistry
they're going to ruin that show before the night is done yeah well we got a giant flying red white
ties i know are we a little late oh we've broken corki's heart again don't break clarky's house
we're out of time folks now stay tuned for tom snyder tom's guest
tonight norm crosby good night everybody
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