hey happy valentine's day from me dr trish lee cognitive neuroscientist and sex addiction
recovery coach i am here to share a hopefully warm valentine's day message with you we're moving into
valentine's day next week and yes it's a hallmark holiday but i found out from one of my clients
on the other side of the world it's a global hallmark holiday so it gives us the opportunity
to become vulnerable to become invulnerable to share intimacy with the people in our life
to create a plan to find intimacy with people we want in our life and that's the message for today
so if you don't have valentine's day plans yet make some and i have a friend where i think i
shared this last year my friend calls it amateur night when you go out for dinner on valentine's
day uh he's a guy who goes out for dinner every night so he every night besides valentine's day
because everybody and their brother's out for dinner so you don't have to go out for dinner but
i want to encourage you to find a way to share time with your partner if you have one
with potential partners if you have them in your life or your friends your family and your people
and honestly i have all those things planned right now if the hubs and i don't have the
date night thing planned you want to go out for dinner i'm like dude it's amateur night we're not
going out for dinner sell crazy somewhere else let's uh let's talk about what we are gonna do
so in the united states it's the super bowl on sunday so i've made a plan with my peeps who
happen to be five teenagers and the hubs i've made a plan that we and i normally do this i
create a super bowl fun which sometimes it's not fun one year i spent the entire time trying to
make homemade calamari if you can do it my hat's off to you because first of all our house reeked
like fish and i did not get one good batch of calamari and it cost more than i want to admit in
a video but for this year about a sodastream we're gonna make ourselves our own soda and we're gonna
make ourselves our own bubbly the kids are pumped they've already tried it and we're getting an air
fryer i don't have an air fryer we're gonna get air fryer and i'm gonna make some delicious air
fried chicken tendees for my kids because my kids have a saying i'm sure they stole it from a mean
something about chicken tendies make them fresh or from wendy's something like that i don't remember
what it is but the point is we've already got a plan we've got super bowl plan we've got some
cool things we're going to do i always we always do squares in our family so that we can just get
some some good juju some positive vibes going i encourage you to figure out something for
yourself that feels good then on my group text with my besties it came through that my besties
are all gonna go to one of our friends for the football game but i've learned from years past
i like being with my family it's a lot of fun so i told the besties maybe i can stop by but if not
i'm gonna be hanging with my troops so i have two sets of possible plans to connect with my friends
definitely hanging with my fam squad figure that out for yourself create a little fun plan
something it's really good for your brain when you leave porn behind and you plan things in
your real life you fire up your frontal lobe you fire up the reward center in your brain it's the
way that you can get your brain back online from porn use this is it plan something and plan it
with your people you're gonna get dopamine you're gonna get serotonin you're gonna get oxytocin
so if you don't have people find a way to go into the world to do something you can
go to your favorite place and they'll have the game on if you care about it
okay so i digressed on super bowl because it is the day before valentine's day so we're going
to celebrate that connection on valentine's day valentine's day is monday for years and
years and years actually since my kids were babies a thing that i did was i get rose petals
and i i actually have a bag of fake rose petals that i've been doing for the last 15 years and i
trail them down our steps into our kitchen and i always have the kitchen decorated and usually
i have like heart-shaped pancakes or something for them it's so simple and it creates joy you
get more serotonin the healthy neurotransmitter from creating joy in your life than you do from
getting pleasure hits from dopamine so when you create something like this on valentine's day
it becomes serotonin that gets flowing in your system and it's a beautiful thing for you
so plan something for your partner plan something for your kids plan something for your friends do
something cool that's in that joy it doesn't have to be a big hit of dopamine you're going to rewire
your brain so that it finds the joy in life and so that's what we're going to do on valentine's
day after we do the soda stream on sunday it's going to be a cool thing it's so low-key and we
did try it yesterday i let each kid make one and it was so cute because my daughter fiona goes this
is weirdly enjoyable serotonin so go create that for yourself now if you're saying
dr trish you have five kids hubs besties you can create it you know once upon a time it was just me
and i come from a big family but once upon a time i created this fun for myself and i still do i'm
the girl on my birthday i buy myself what i want i make myself the cake that i want or i go buy it
and i invite people into my fun all the stuff that i have planned right now that's my fun for me and
i'm psyched to be able to share it with my peeps but it's my fun for me uh a funny thing last year
when i got coveted on st patrick's day my daughter said she goes you know i woke up from a from
a blur after a couple days of covet and i said oh i missed st patrick's day and she goes don't
worry nothing happened this year that's because st patrick's day is really fun in my home because of
me that's my fun and i share it with my people go create your fun share it with your people i
hope you have an amazing valentine's day it really can be filled with joy and wonder if you wanted to
okay go for it if you're looking for help on your porn brain rewire journey please reach out to me
dr trishly.com i'm here for you and until next time control your brain or it'll control you