Whether you’re an INFJ questioning if you may be falling out of love with a partner,
or wondering if you ever really had love for them in the first place - it’s a tough judgment
call when you begin doubting you’re own feelings.
However, for this introspective type in particular there are a few signs that can make this contemplation
a little more clear cut.
Welcome back PSYCH-Os, today we’re going to be talking about the 10 signs that the
INFJ isn’t really in love in their relationship.
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Number 1: They’ve put a mental expiration date on the relationship
INFJs are naturally future-focused beings.
They have a deep imaginative and intuitive process that allows them some accurate insight
into possible future scenarios, including whether or not a relationship will work long
term.
If you’re an INFJ and you’re having thoughts like “I’ll see how this goes for another
few months” or you go blank when thinking of a long-term future with this person, you
have some self-reflection to do.
If this introspective type can’t pinpoint what it is about their partner that doesn’t
jive, the INFJ may even resort to trying to look for a flaw in their personality as a
breaking point where they can finally decide that this isn’t what they want anymore.
This process can cause you to pinpoint issues of the relationship on them, and make big
fusses out of things that aren’t that big of a deal.
Although it can seem harsh and uncalled for, all it is is the INFJ’s intuition trying
to rationalize the deep feeling of not being that emotionally interested in them in the
first place.
So, if you find yourself planning your future with them not by your side, you can be sure
that you’re probably not as interested in this person as you once believed.
Number 2: A partner’s needs are an inconvenience to the INFJ
The INFJ personality type is known for being givers and pleasers..especially when it comes
to romance.
Of course, when there's a sense of comfort and stability involved, like that of a long
term connection these pleasing tendencies may dwindle slightly, but they never stop
entirely.
And so, if an INFJ begins to find that their partner's needs (in which they normally take
on as their own) become just a total inconvenience, this empathetic type is either seriously burnt
out or considerably uninvested in the connection.
Yes, an INFJ has particular needs when it comes to reserving their energy, but they
would never miss a chance to be there for their loved ones.
So, when it comes time that their partner needs a shoulder to cry on or a listening
ear, and the INFJ feels like they’re asking for too much, you can be sure that this is
a sign they probably don’t love them.
Number 3: They share their partner’s private moments with friends
Private and reclusive, INFJs rarely share anything about their love life with friends
and family.
Not only would they rather keep things to themselves, but oftentimes an INFJ actually
trusts their own intuitive analysis more than they do other people’s advice.
So, when they find themselves talking about their partner and his or her behaviors it
can seem a little out of character.
Whether the topics of conversation are used as a commodity of entertainment, or it’s
simply the INFJ stepping outside of their own heads to look for alternative viewpoints,
they should begin questioning if they genuinely care about them.
For most people, talking about their significant other during times of uncertainty is common,
but when the INFJ begins sharing private details and attaching their negative opinions on their
partner's life decisions as if they aren’t your other half, you probably don’t view
them as a life partner.
Number 4: They avoid bringing their partner home to their parents
Speaking of privacy in a connection, INFJs will only ever introduce their new partner
to their friends and family when they are absolutely sure of them.
Nonetheless, bringing someone home to meet their closest people is an exciting aspect
of having a new relationship, and they don’t want to attach any hesitancy to the at-times
nerve wracking scenario.
So, if you’re an INFJ in a newer relationship and find yourself avoiding this milestone,
you should start asking yourself why you are avoiding it because it could be that you don’t
see a point in it all.
In other words, you don’t see them being around for long.
On the opposite side of things, if you’re an INFJ in a long term relationship and find
yourself avoiding bringing your partner to family functions when you used to enjoy having
them as your plus one, it could be a clear sign that you’re losing feelings for them,
and reclaiming your independence.
Number 5: They find ways to keep busy without their partner
INFJs are great at procrastinating when they have sound reasons too..
One of those main reasons is a lack of passion and interest in the task at hand.
Well.. the same goes with a dull relationship.
Maybe they find themselves staying late after work to avoid spending the evening with their
partner, or they're continuously making weekend plans to avoid feeling obligated to spend
time with their partner.
With quality time as one of their dearest love languages, an INFJ in love would make
it a point to balance their life in a way to ensure they’re making ample time for
the other person, usually more than anyone else in their lives.
Yet, even if it doesn’t go to the extreme of avoiding home altogether, this sign may
come in the form of finding tasks to do around the house that would excuse you from having
any down-time to connect with your partner.
If you’re an INFJ and have no interest in the things that you used to do with your partner..
It’s time to reconsider.
Number 6: They don’t voluntarily call or text their partner
Let’s start by saying INFJs are definitely not the clingy type in most relationship cases,
considering their need for individuality is the core of their happiness.
However, even in the INFJ relationship, proper connection is based around desired communication
and should rarely be accompanied by feelings of needing to avoid communicating.
When the INFJ is in love, they genuinely want to know how their partner is feeling because
their partner's happiness is in direct relation with their happiness.
So, if you’re an INFJ that’s beginning to realize you’re rarely the one initiating
the first text or phone call, or are faced with serious dread when replying or picking
up the phone, it’s fair to say you don’t love them.
Quite frankly, you may even find them a little bit annoying, when before you would eagerly
await their texts and calls throughout the day.
Number 7: Their partner’s issues become unjustifiable and annoying
When an INFJ is falling out of love, or coming to a realization that they weren’t ever
really in love in the first place, they begin subconsciously shining a negative light on
the little annoyances.
The quirky little personality traits they’ve had all along, soon become inexcusable or
even unbearable, leading you to blow them out of proportion, mostly within your own
minds.
Once an INFJ has this opinion of their partner, it is difficult or nearly impossible to shake
- meaning they’ll slowly become more and more annoyed at these traits, resulting in
complete dissatisfaction of their relationship.
Number 8: They’re secretly planning their escape
With a mental expiration date in mind, the INFJ’s introverted intuition will automatically
begin thinking of ways to break free.
While they may convince themselves these ideas are nothing but a ‘backup plan’, in reality,
it’s a sure sign that they have no intention of being with that person anymore.
Maybe they’re secretly scoping out new potential partners or finding ways they would tell their
partner they want to leave without hurting them.
It’s as if the INFJ begins to make the scenario very real in their head to find comfort in
the thought rather than fear or guilt.
They begin answering questions like, where will I move, how will I get back into the
dating scene, what hobbies will I start to fill my free time, and so forth..These are
signs that they’re ready to move on, and really shouldn’t keep this person hanging
on in hopes that the INFJ will come around.
Number 9: They’re okay with the idea of their partner moving on
When an INFJ looses feelings or interest in anything in life, whether it be a relationship,
a job position, or even a living space, they wouldn’t ever wish anything negatively upon
what they’re fleeing.
So, when it comes to falling out of love, an INFJ always asks the question, can I be
happy for them if they were to move on?
If the answer is no, their still may be some feelings that can be rekindled.
However, if an INFJ can confidently say that they would be happier to know that their partner
is happy with someone else rather than staying in this mutually stale connection, it’s
time to dig a little deeper.
Likewise, when the thought of being with other people doesn’t trigger any emotional thoughts
within the INFJ themselves, aside from relief, the love has died.
Number 10: They begin doing more things for themselves
When the INFJ is in love, they feel like they can let down their sense of survival or ‘every
man for himself’ idealism, to unite as a partnership where both people look out for
one another.
Although independence is a crucial aspect in an INFJ’s romantic satisfaction, if they
find themselves back in this thought process and decision-making habit of only thinking
of themselves and their own success, that’s not love.
More so, if you’re an INFJ who feels like you’re past the point of mentally preparing
to flee, but actually putting in the work to make it easy for yourself, you can take
it as a sure sign you’re ready to move on.
Maybe you’re saving money for your own condo so that you’re ready when you move on.
Or you’re planning for a trip without even batting an eye that they aren’t invited.
This selfish way of thinking scraps the idea of making any sacrifices from your own goals
in order to include them in your plans.
And that is a sure sign you don’t love them.
Well, that’s it for today’s video psychos.
According to these signs, are you really in love?
Let us know in the comments below!
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